WIBTA If I Don’t Attend My Brother’s Wedding? Damn Right, I Wouldn’t.
Alright, lovely readers, buckle up and grab a cup of your favorite beverage because I’m about to spill some gloriously hot tea that I found brewing on Reddit. Our protagonist—a brave, pregnant soul—comes to us with a dilemma and boy, is it juicy!
Picture this: You’re seven months pregnant, waddling around with swollen feet that rival watermelons, and mentally preparing for a life-altering event—the birth of your newborn. Amidst all this chaos, your brother hits you with not one, but TWO wedding invites, and both are 1300 miles away! Talk about being in a rock and a hard place. Oh, and did I mention these weddings are child-free? Yeah, let that marinate for a bit.
Two Weddings, One Pregnant Sister—Dramatic Much?
So here’s the sitch: our pregnant heroine is expected to make a 21-hour drive or catch a flight to attend her brother’s wedding extravaganzas. The first one is in July to honor his fiancée’s heritage, a noble cause indeed, but hello? Our girl can’t fly at that stage of pregnancy unless she wants to learn what cloud nine feels like, literally.
The second wedding is in September, a mere three days post her birthday, and she’d be traveling with a six-week-old baby. Now, any parent reading this might be clenching their butts just thinking about the logistics. And if you’re not, let me enlighten you—newborns are delicate AF and keep you busier than a caffeinated squirrel during acorn season.
Family Expectations and Unsolicited Advice—Isn’t It Grand?
Our protagonist’s brother, bless his heart, suggests she leaves her baby ALONE in the hotel room during the wedding ceremony. I kid you not! And then comes Papa Bear’s “charming” suggestion: “Why don’t you just bring the baby to the rehearsal dinner and the reception?” Oh sure, because there’s nothing newborns love more than loud noises, strangers, and confined spaces! And let’s not overlook the fact that mom will probably spend most of her time in a nursing-tent-spin-off trying to keep the baby fed and asleep amidst all the chaos.
The thought of flying alone with a brand-new infant sends chills down my spine. Ever tried calming a crying baby at 30,000 feet in the air? Picture the crying baby, screeching louder than an alarm clock, wrapped in airplane turbulence with hundreds of disapproving eyes judging you. Can you feel the horror yet?
Let’s Talk Health and Safety, Darlings
Following the mental anguish, come the big guns: health and safety concerns. At six weeks old, the baby would be one snowflake of vulnerability surrounded by a blizzard of germ-infested strangers. Vaccines? Not happening yet. Immunity? Flimsier than a paper plane in a storm. Our heroine rightly worries about exposing her baby to all sorts of potential illnesses amid a multitude of people she barely knows.
And let’s not forget our post-partum queen herself! She will likely still be healing, possibly even from a C-section—which, need I remind you, is major surgery! Expecting her to be in top form, traipsing around wedding events, is like expecting a fish to climb a tree. Seriously, the timing couldn’t be worse if Murphy’s Law had a field day with it.
Real Talk: Is It Even Plausible?
Now, let’s be brutally honest here. This entire scenario sounds like a train wreck waiting to happen. The complications involving the baby, the health risks, the logistics, and the insane expectations are too many to count on one hand. And let’s not forget the emotional toll: missing her own birthday, being apart from her 3-year-old son and husband, and let’s sprinkle in some sleep deprivation for good measure.
Our valiant Reddit-user did a wise thing by considering her own and her baby’s well-being, even though it might hurt family feelings. It’s time for her brother to grow up and realize that life events don’t always align seamlessly, no matter how magical or grandiose they are. Weddings are beautiful, yes, but good lord, they’re also stress fest 2021.
The Final Verdict: Roger’s Sassy Take
In my expertly witty and unabashedly sassy opinion, hell no, she would not be the bad guy for skipping these weddings. Her family needs to understand the avalanche of complications that come with newborns and post-partum recovery. Asking her to compromise her and her baby’s health for a wedding is not just impractical but inconsiderate.
If the family wants her involved, how about a Zoom call, darling? She can witness the ceremony while comfy on her couch, baby nestled in her arms, without the added drama of travel, health risks, and separation anxiety. Weddings are about love, unity, and understanding, not tearing each other down over unrealistic expectations.
So, to our dear Reddit poster, take care of yourself and your babies, enjoy your birthday with your family, and send a lovely gift to your brother. Anyone who truly loves you will understand, and anyone who doesn’t? Meh, who needs that kind of negativity anyway?
Stay fabulous and keep those witty comments rolling!
Original story
For context, my brother is having two weddings. The one in July is to commemorate his fiancés heritage and the other is in September that’s a traditional American wedding.
There are no children allowed at either one, which is totally fine with me. It’s their day and I get kids would be disruptive, but it is part of the issue and why it would be difficult for me to attend.
Both of the weddings are in another state, 1300 miles away from where I live or a 21 hour drive. I’m also 7 months pregnant right now, due at the beginning of August.
I’d be too far along to fly in July and the baby would be 6 weeks old by the time the second wedding rolls around.
I talked to my brother a month or so ago about it and he doesn’t expect me to come to the one in July, but would love for me to be at the September one.
My parents already have flights booked in September (on my birthday-3 days before the wedding) to make sure they’re there before the festivities commence. Id have to fly with a 6 week old baby on my birthday, miss out on spending the day with my 3 year old son and my husband, and who knows if I will even be healed completely by then (especially if I have to get a c-section, I will not).
I’d also be away from my son for 5/6 days and he’d probably have to be with my in laws that whole time since my husband works or my husband would have to take a week off work. Which I’m not sure if either one of those is very plausible.
My brother suggested to leave the baby in the hotel room for the ceremony (wtf, not happening lol) and my dad said I could come to the rehearsal dinner the night before and the reception after the ceremony with the baby. I’m worried about noise levels with an infant and how much I’d have to miss with feeding baby/putting baby to sleep.
This all sounds so exhausting and like such a hassle. I feel like I’d be in such a bad mood the whole time, even though my mom would be there to help as much as she could, but she has other obligations as mother of the groom stuff to do.
I’d have to go so many days before the actual wedding, since I refuse to fly alone with a brand new infant. From my understanding, I’d be sitting in the hotel room for 5 days basically by myself with little to no support.
Does it even seem plausible to attend??
I love my brother and his fiancé, but the timing just seems off and I’m not trying to be a downer during their wedding, but would it be worse if I didn’t even show up??
Help!!
ETA: thank you everyone for your replies! I definitely will not be attending either wedding unfortunately.
People have made it abundantly clear (and I didn’t even realize when writing this out) that the baby won’t be able to get vaccinated that young and would be surrounded by a ton of people (majority of them I do not know) which in turn could get her extremely sick and that alone is enough for me to not even consider it any farther. I’d still be recovering at 6 weeks pp and is dangerous for baby or I to fly that soon afterwards.
I appreciate everyone’s honest responses and helping reassure me that going would be too much. I’m going to ask and see if they’re planning on doing a Zoom call for people who cannot attend so I can at least see the ceremony, which is the most important part of a wedding to me.
I will be telling them I will not be attending for a magnitude of reasons this weekend. Thanks again everyone!