Oh darling, gather ’round, because Auntie Joan has a juicy tale to share from the wild world of Reddit, where sanity often takes a vacation. Our leading lady, let’s call her The Stylish Youngling, recently survived a corporate kerfuffle that’s half sartorial scandal, half Kafkaesque nightmare.
The Meeting of the Minds: Or, More Accurately, The Blind Leading the Clueless
The gist, my lovelies, is about an unfortunate employee who works at a company with no HR (cue the horror music). The Executive Assistant—let’s call her “Ms. Clueless”—and the CEO (aka “Mr. Oblivious”) decided to host a firing squad disguised as a ‘discussion’ about our girl’s dress code. Spoiler alert: their real issue was Susan’s silhouette.
Dress Code Dramas: What’s Appropriate Anyway?
Before the meeting, our protagonist did her homework. She printed out the dress code section from the Employee Handbook – an archaic document that somehow missed the past few decades of workplace equality. She even went so far as to model the supposedly offending outfits—because hey, if you’re going down, you might as well go down in meticulously planned glory, right?
The Plot Thickens: Office Fashion Police Get Specific
Fast forward to the meeting. Ms. Clueless and Mr. Oblivious barely took time off from their busy lives of micro-managing to explain that our girl’s outfits were, indeed, visually offensive. What horrors did she commit, you ask? Wearing patterned pants, form-fitting tops, and—brace yourselves—dark green instead of bright frilly orange.
According to these fashion tyrants:
What’s worse, while our heroine spent her days weaving through corporate dress codes, her colleagues meandered about in ripped jeans and flip-flops. Discrepancies much?
A Fashionista’s Revelation
When asked to justify the company’s fashion policing, the response from Ms. Clueless and Mr. Oblivious was pure gold—an elusive pot of nonsense. They claimed that dark colors and tight fits sent the ‘wrong message’ about the company. Because let’s not forget: showing up as a subdued, professional individual totally ruins the perky vibe set by their haphazardly clad underlings.
Moment of Clarity: Are We Being Distracted by the Dress or the Body?
Our fearless protagonist tried to keep her cool, jotting down the absurdities: no heels with jeans, only ‘inviting’ colors, and—oh joy—clothes that apparently never betray the curvature of one’s body. She finally dropped the bomb, stating that if it’s not the clothes but her body that’s the problem, implying sexual harassment might be afoot.
Corporate Gaslighting: They’re the Inclusive Kind, Didn’t You Know?
Of course, Ms. Clueless and Mr. Oblivious panicked, backpedaled like Olympic athletes and vehemently denied it. How could she think they’d make her feel uncomfortable? They pride themselves on creating an ‘inclusive workplace.’ Ah, yes, inclusive—as long as you fit their dismally narrow definition of professional attire.
The Grand Offer: More Work, Same Nonsense
And what was the cherry on this ridiculous sundae? They offered to give her more hours so she could buy a wardrobe that fits their criteria. Because nothing spells empowerment like being paid poorly and then expected to spend that meager paycheck on company-approved frills and ruffles.
By the end of this fashion travesty, our girl—rightly feeling more Joan of Arc than Joan Crawford—was frustrated (and might have been an angry crier, but honey, we’ve all been there). She kept her poker face, vowed to ride out in the provided clown costumes they call office attire until she found a new job, and left the meeting with her dignity and a full record of the idiocy she’d endured.
Joan’s Final Thoughts: Why Settle for Less When You Deserve More?
Listen up, sweethearts: no job is worth your sanity and self-esteem. If the people you work for can’t distinguish between professional attire and their own biases, it’s high time to saunter out of their toxic cubicle farm and into a place that respects you and your talents.
Because here’s the tea: you deserve to be judged by your work, not your wardrobe. And always, always remember—if the pattern’s not the problem but their perception of your body is, run, don’t walk, to greener professional pastures.
Love, Joan
Original story
Okay, everyone! I just got out of the meeting with the Executive Assistant and the CEO about my dress code.
First I just wanted to answer the question I was seeing a lot about why I haven’t said anything to HR..
well, because the executive assistant is HR..
. we don’t have an HR department.
..
TLDR: They don’t like how my body looks in the clothing and the fact I wear dark colors basically.
I really wanted to be prepared for this meeting, since I am the youngest and I’m a bit of a pushover I wanted to make sure I didn’t get bull-dozed over in this meeting. I printed out the section of the handbook that explained the dress code, and when I got home yesterday, I changed into the last four outfits that I had worn that I was dinged for and took pictures, including the outfit that was half my stuff and half the stuff they bought me.
This morning I went around and took a few pictures of my co-workers (I asked for consent) who were wearing ripped jeans, flip-flops, and graphic-t’s. These things are clearly prohibited per the handbook.
I also brought with me a top that was bought for me, (a blouse from shein bright orange and frilly) then wore a top that I bought for the job that was fairly similar (a blouse from H&M that was dark green).
I asked if I could voice-record the meeting so I would be able to refer back to the feedback. they said okay.
They started off the meeting by telling me that it was inappropriate that I argued back yesterday and walked out. (some people were confused when I said I walked out.
I didn’t leave work, I just walked out of the office.) I apologized for the arguing back but followed it up by saying “I report to 4 different people and have many tasks throughout the day, you two know that Tuesdays are my busiest days and I was frustrated that I was being called away from my job duties to discuss my attire as I was in the middle of a very crucial tasks.
“
They tried to swerve around that statement and just went into why they brought me in. They told me that they had made multiple attempts to get me to adhere to the dress code and that I had refused to comply.
I told them that I have been trying to adhere to the dress code, pulled out the handbook, and read it out loud to them. I explained that I had been following the dress code as it is described in the handbook and asked if they could explicitly tell me what I had been doing wrong, I had bought different clothing, I had worn the clothing that they bought me and I dress business casual even though the handbook says “jean casual” because I understand that being at the front desk means I should be dressing up a little more.
They told me that the outfits I choose to wear are distracting. I pulled out the pictures I had taken of myself and asked them to explain in detail what was distracting about these outfits because I clearly didn’t understand.
Their response “The black pants with the white polka-dots are inappropriate.” in that outfit, I was wearing a white flowy top that fully covered my butt and had a high neckline with white flats.
I asked them to elaborate, they said the pattern is distracting. I wrote down, no patterned pants in my notebook in front of them.
The next outfit was a form-fitting black turtle neck, tucked in with a belt and cream dress pants. They said that the turtle kneck was inappropriate because it was a tighter fit.
I wrote down, no form-fitting tops. I then pulled out the picture of the outfit I wore which included the heels they got me and the boot-cut jeans with no back pockets.
They said the pants were highly inappropriate since they accentuated my behind paired with the heels. I wrote, no heels paired with jeans.
I was keeping my mouth shut still. I then pulled out the shirt that was bought for me.
I said I’d like to know how this shirt that was bought for me and the shirt that I am wearing now are different and why one is preferred over the other. They said that the bright frilly one is more inviting and presents the message they want more than the one that I was wearing.
The dark green is not inviting but the orange is. This was their reasoning for my silver vs.
gold jewelry question too.
I then said, “Okay, I think I’m starting to understand.” I pulled out the pictures of my co-workers.
I asked, do you see how I would be confused when the rest of my co-workers dress like this every day.” They said that the other co-workers are held to a different standard since they are in the back office.
I just nodded.
I replied “Okay I think I understand. So patterns are not okay unless they are bright loud colors and floral print?
” they nodded and smiled “And since I am in the front, I am expected to dress business casual/business professional. Not Jean casual as described in the handbook.
” they smiled and nodded and said “yes, we’re happy to create a new handbook for you to refer back to.” and then I said “and for the other outfits, it’s not really about the items of clothing, it’s about how my body looks in the clothes, and my body is the thing that is distracting everyone at work.
Not the clothes.” They sort of stammered a little bit and I said “I really try hard to make you guys happy but I think it’s inappropriate that this whole meeting was done, taking time out of everyone’s day just to tell me that my body is being looked at in a way that is distracting people from their jobs.
I am very uncomfortable and am feeling sexualized and harassed at this point. I understand that the dark colors and certain patterns aren’t what you guys are looking for.
But the other feedback you’ve given me is just about my body and how it looks. My compensation is not high enough for me to afford to buy any more clothing for this job.
“
They told me that I was misunderstanding this whole meeting and that was not what they were saying at all. The clothing I wear is not inviting and not the message they want to put out, it has nothing to do with my body.
They pride themselves in being an inclusive and safe workplace and would never intentionally make anyone feel sexualized and they couldn’t believe that I was interpreting this as harassment. They said that they felt like buying me clothes was a kind gesture to help me work on my professionalism and they thought that I would have been more receptive of that.
They also said that if I’d like, they can extend my hours so my compensation is raised. They said that they would be having another meeting with me about the new handbook and to look out on my calendar for it.
I was so frustrated (I am an angry crier, I did not cry but I felt it brewing.) I just smiled and nodded and asked if there was anything else they needed from me.
They said no and I walked out of the office. I had so much more that I wanted to say, but I choked up and was upset I didn’t say anything else.
I am looking for a new job, I don’t want to do this other meeting. I feel like it’s not worth trying to fight it anymore.
..
I guess I’ll just wear the 4 outfits they got me every day until I find a new job. I feel a little defeated and have a sour taste from all of this, but can’t afford to just quit.
But I have the recording so I’m going to research to see if maybe I have a case here. I’m not meant for corporate America.
..