Wedding Woes: When Superstitions Ruin Big Days and Brotherly Bonds
Oh, the blissful joys of wedding planning—said absolutely no one ever who’s been stuck in the quagmire of logistics, guest lists, and crises in etiquette. And what’s the latest drama to disrupt matrimonial harmony, you ask? A real-life Reddit post that takes the cake… at least until the cake falls apart!
The Best-Laid Wedding Plans…
This story starts off like any other breezy, picturesque wedding—a couple decides to keep things intimate and tie the knot in a backyard ceremony. Not just any backyard, mind you, but the lush greenery behind the home of our protagonist’s brother and sister-in-law. What could go wrong, right?
Everything Was Peachy Until It Wasn’t
Fast-forward to a sweet 1.5 months away from the big, life-changing ‘I Dos,’ and guess what? The supposedly reliable brother drops a bombshell. No, he didn’t elope with your fiancée—it’s much weirder. He backs out of hosting the wedding entirely, citing a superstition of sorts. Apparently, the household was visited by a monk-slash-nanny who revealed that hosting a sibling’s wedding could transfer your precious luck to the newlyweds. And since they have youngins at home, why take the risk?
Superstition Vs. Reality: A Clash of Beliefs
Now, reader, if your jaw hasn’t hit the floor yet or if you haven’t spontaneously channeled your inner Shakespeare to yell, “WHAT HO?” allow me to provide further enlightenment. This all stems from a variety of beliefs—whether it’s Buddhism, feng shui, or some mystical blend that requires a PhD to decode, who knows? What we do know is that the brother and SIL suddenly placed their new family’s good fortune above the long-promised venue hosting.
Scrambling for Plan B… and C…
Understandably, our soon-to-be-wedded Redditor isn’t thrilled about last-minute upheavals. With only 1.5 months on the countdown clock, swapping venues isn’t a minor errand. It’s practically an Olympic sport requiring Herculean effort and contortionist-level logistics. Although Brother Dearest tried to help find an alternative venue and offered to cover costs, the damage was done. The bridal party was flustered, the best man (possibly a dog, who knows?) was unimpressed, and chaos filtered into what should have been a seamless occasion.
The Emotional Toll
Here’s the crux of our drama: While the brother’s actions were, perhaps, rooted in genuine concern, the emotional damage to familial bonds is inescapable. It’s like pulling the rug out from under someone just as they kneel to propose—awkward, potentially injury-inducing, and highly memorable for all the wrong reasons.
Moreover, the timing is particularly irksome. The closer you get to the wedding day, the fewer screws you can afford to have loose. And for our dear Redditor, it feels like her own kin just tossed a firecracker into the honeymoon suite. The betrayal! Off with his head and revoke his RSVP, right?
Money May Talk, But So Does Breach of Trust
It should be noted that Brother Dearest did attempt to smooth things over by offering to cover additional costs related to sending out new invites and potentially paying for the new venue. Admirable, yet it doesn’t erase the sense of betrayal or inconvenience caused. When trust is broken, money is but a flimsy band-aid.
Now that you’ve survived the rollercoaster ride of wedding ups and downs, let’s move on to what you’ve all been waiting for: Roger’s fabulous and indisputably correct opinion.
Roger’s Irresistibly Correct Opinion
Gather ’round, dear readers, because here comes the truth-bomb trimmed with sass and dipped in glitter. While it’s easy to spout vitriol and cancel a brother from the guest list faster than an expired BOGO deal, one must remember the intricacies of familial bonds.
It’s clear the brother’s actions stem from a place of good intent, albeit wrapped in layers of mystical mischief. Communication, not exile, should be the course of action here. Grill him like a cheeseburger at a summer BBQ about the true depths of these superstitions. If you’ve survived familial holidays unscathed, you’re more than capable of navigating this last-minute wedding hiccup.
Take a sip from your mimosa, darlings, breathe deeply, and remember: Weddings are about more than logistics—they’re about love. As exasperating as brotherly betrayal can be, trust in communication will solve more than an uninvited sibling ever could.
So, would you be the jerk for uninviting him? Nah, probably not—but do consider the long-term ramifications before you wield that axe. Happy nuptials and may your champagne be as sparkling as your newfound resolve!
Original story
My fiancé and I decided we wanted to have an intimate wedding ceremony instead of a large wedding. For the venue, we asked my brother and SIL if we could have it in their back yard about a year ago.
They said they would be honored to host. We knew it was a big ask, since they had a 2nd newborn on the way, and promised we would be unobtrusive as possible and take care of everything that needed to be taken care of.
For guest count, we are at 26 people. So as intimate as possible for a backyard wedding.
They insisted it would be a wonderful setting and it would mean a lot to them to have it there as well.
We’re pretty close knit. We come from a household of strong family values and grew up together.
So we’re about 1.5 months out from our wedding day and my brother just informed us that they could no longer host the wedding at their place.
Through happenstance, their nanny/family friend (who’s also monk) found out we were having our wedding there and told them it would bring less luck to their family. Apparently the superstition goes that if you host a siblings wedding at your house, you give away your luck to that family.
And now that they are new parents to a 6mo and 2 year old, they don’t want anything to happen to them and want to give them the best chance at life they possibly can.
Nobody knew about this until now. Our family has never really been superstitious.
I know my SIL’s family is more conservative and believes in these sort of things.
I’m pretty tolerant of others beliefs systems. And while I don’t understand it I do respect it.
But we are literally less than 2 months out now from our big day. Fortunately a venue change isn’t too too difficult, but it definitely throws a curveball into logistics when we’ve had everything already set.
I love my brother and would want the best for his family and the kiddos. But right now I don’t want anything to do with him.
ADDING INFO:
• Edited 1st paragraph for clarity on timeline of when the ask was/grammar.
• We live in the US.
• Not sure what religion or sect- guessing Buddhism. Or feng shui.
• He did try to find us a new venue. Not well thought out options but still tried nonetheless.
Did offer to cover whatever additional cost to send out invites.
• Was not explicitly stated but based on our relationship and knowing my brother he would try to cover the venue cost.