Oh, gather ’round, hot tea enthusiasts and drama aficionados, as I relay to you a tale of wedding preparations gone awry—a story so rich in miscommunication and bridal party blunders it could *almost* make an onion cry. Buckle in, my darlings, for this juicy narrative inspired by a real Reddit tale from an actual human being navigating the treacherous waters of wedding planning. This, my beloved audience, is the intriguing case of a bride and her silent bridesmaid, Sally. Ready for Roger’s Hot Take? Keep on reading, it’s worth the wait.
Imagine the scene: a blissfully engaged couple, a lineup of bridesmaids and groomsmen meticulously selected to stand by their side on the most magical day of their lives. Enter Sally, a pseudo-sibling-by-friendship to our groom, graciously extended the honor of bridesmaid by our protagonist bride. Sounds like the beginning of a heartwarming rom-com, yes? Ah, but our plot thickens faster than my Aunt Mabel’s Thanksgiving gravy.
As the group chat for wedding festivities pings alive with introductions and dress queries, one notable silence reverberates like a bell in an empty church—Sally’s. Concerns bubble as plans progress; dress details disseminated, bachelorette shenanigans afoot, and yet, our Sally remains as silent as a mime in a library. Despite a dinner intervention (because who discusses group chat etiquette over salad?), Sally’s digital silence persisted, much to the bride’s distress.
Here’s where it twists, folks. Our bride, teetering on the edge of a wedding-induced nervous breakdown, dispatches her fiancé to elicit a response from Sally. The reply? Picture a pot boiling over with indignation—a declaration of self-prioritization and a baffling criticism of the couple’s expectations. Sally, it seemed, was battling her own demons, too exhausted even to commit to a shirt size. Cue the world’s tiniest violin.
Empathy at its brink, our bride extends an olive branch, stressing understanding and support, only to be met with resounding silence. Decision time: Sally’s bridesmaid title, revoked—yet an invitation to the wedding, graciously upheld.
Now, for Roger’s Hot Take: While the sands of friendship can shift under the weight of expectations, the essence of participation, especially in roles as pivotal as that of a bridesmaid, hinges on communication. The bride’s actions, though drastic, underscore a fundamental wedding planning doctrine—clarity and commitment are the linchpins of nuptial harmony.
Could our bride have donned the cloak of patience a little longer, explored the depths of Sally’s silence with more diligence? Perhaps. Yet, when the wedding bells toll, the ship must sail with or without all its passengers onboard. In the realm of uncertain allegiances and bridesmaid duties, it behooves us to remember: A text response, dear Sally, is but a small ask in the grand tapestry of friendship and wedding bliss.
Thus, in the pondering pits of who’s the asshole, I dare say our bride stands vindicated, navigating the choppy seas of wedding planning with as much grace as a situation like Sally’s could permit. Lesson learned, my dearies? When given the honor of standing by your friend on their big day, don’t be a Sally—communicate, participate, or gracefully bow out. After all, it’s the making and preserving of memories that weddings are truly about, not the propagation of bridal party blues. Until next drama-filled dish, yours truly, Roger.
Original story
For context, my fiancé doesn’t have a sister but he has a family friend, we’ll call her Sally, who is like his unbiological sister. My fiancé made my brother one of his groomsman, so I decided to make Sally a bridesmaid. Sally was really excited because she said that her sister intended to have her as a bridesmaid last summer, but didn’t. This made me happy because Sally seemed to be genuinely happy and excited. Fast forward a few months and we have put together group chats for the bachelorette and wedding events. The first text I send is a greeting and I ask the girls to introduce themselves via text so that everyone has each other’s numbers. Everyone responds except Sally. Weeks go by, the girls start asking about dresses info so I send it to them, still nothing from Sally. My sister starts asking me who the extra number is in the chat and I’m starting to get worried so I have Sally over for dinner. While she’s over I tell her that I’m concerned and I need her to respond to the group chat just so that we all know she’s apart of it. She apologizes and reassures me that I have nothing to worry about and that she’s there for me whenever I need something.
Fast forward a month, Sally has said nothing in the group chat. The girls are now planning things for the bachelorette, my sister is ordering tshirts, etc. So my sister is asking for everyone’s shirt size among other things, and nothing from Sally. I’m really starting to stress over this because now my sister and other bridesmaids have noticed Sally’s silence and they’re texting me separate about it. I tell my fiancé and he decided to reach out to Sally since she’s technically from “his side”.
My fiancé sends a text asking Sally if she plans to be apart of the wedding because we haven’t heard from her and it’s really stressing me out. Sally gets back to my fiancé with an angry text and sends me one as well. She says that we are asking too much of her and that she has to focus on herself. She also says that I need to stop worrying and that she is “past exhaustion” trying to show up for herself. I respond saying that we understand if she’s going through something but she needs to participate if she’s wants to be apart of this. I told her that we love her and she’s not alone and that we’re here if she needs anything. This was a month ago and I haven’t heard anything since, so I’ve decided to remove her from the bridal party. Still planning on sending an invite though! So, AITA for kicking her out of the bridal party?