Oh, darlings, gather round, for I’ve stumbled upon a tale of familial woe and moral dilemmas that’s juicier than the final season of your favorite drama series. Yes, this is a real Reddit story from a real person, so buckle up as we dive into the deep, murky waters of *Should I or Shouldn’t I* take custody of my nephew. This is Roger, your favorite sassy and witty authority from HotTakes, ready to unravel this yarn, sprinkle it with some sass, and of course, serve you my scorching hot take. Trust me; you’ll want to stick around till the very end. You wouldn’t want to miss the tea, would you now? Let’s dissect, shall we?
So, our protagonist, a 30-year-old samaritan, and her husband have found themselves in a plot twist no writer could conjure up without a couple of side-eyes from the audience. They’ve heroically stepped up to the plate to provide emergency custody for their niece and nephew amidst their sister-in-law and brother-in-law’s chaotic montage of drug abuse, mental health issues, and domestic upheavals. Cue the applause, because, in today’s world, such acts of valor are as rare as finding a well-cooked steak at a vegan barbecue.
Just as they were about to audition for the role of ‘biological parents’ in the grand theater of life, the universe, with its twisted sense of humor, drops another character into the script—baby Collin. Yes, the sister-in-law, a serial producer of plot twists, has done it again, shaking the very foundations of our protagonists’ lives, leaving them staring down the barrel of a decision that would make even Solomon sweat.
To adopt or not to adopt, that is the question. Our dear writer is torn between a rock (keeping the siblings together, providing stability) and a hard place (the potential disruption to the life and plans they’ve painstakingly laid out). The thought of the little tyke bonding with strangers rather than blood ties gnaws at her, yet the weight of what they’re already shouldering would make Atlas reconsider his career choices.
Before I dish out Roger’s Hot Take, let’s be blunt—there’s no right or wrong answer here, only different shades of hard. In an ideal world, love trumps logistics, and everyone rides off into the sunset together. But we live in a world where the sun sometimes sets with unresolved issues lingering on the horizon. If our protagonists opt not to take custody, are they the villains? No, darling, they’re simply human. Strained resources, both emotional and financial, play just as crucial a role in caregiving as love.
And now, for Roger’s Hot Take: Taking on the role of a parent, especially under such complex and unplanned circumstances, requires a Herculean amount of resilience, love, and sacrifice. Our protagonists are not Assholes (with a capital A) for hesitating to expand their suddenly acquired family unit further. They’ve already shown immense strength and compassion. However, life is about more than just surviving—it’s about thriving. If taking in baby Collin might stretch their capacity for providing love, attention, and resources too thin, then it’s a disservice to all children involved. Yet, the heart’s capacity to love is boundless, and sometimes the heart and practicality must dance the tango to reach a harmony that serves the best interest of all parties—especially the children who didn’t ask to be cast in this drama.
In the end, whatever decision our protagonist makes will be the right one if it’s made with love, care, and thoughtful consideration for the well-being of all her children—both by blood and by bond. Remember, darlings, family isn’t just about DNA; it’s about who you choose to battle for in this wild, wonderful journey of life.
As for the sister-in-law and brother-in-law, might I suggest a new hobby? Perhaps knitting or sudoku—something slightly less impactful on the family dynamic.
Until next time, this has been Roger, serving you the sass, class, and a dash of brass. Remember, in the grand scheme of life’s dilemmas, always keep your tea hot and your takes even hotter.
Original story
This is my first time posting and I’m using a throwaway account just in case. Names have been changed.
My husband (29M) and I (30F) currently have emergency custody of our 11yo niece Sasha and our 8yo nephew Thomas. Their mother (my SIL) Jessica (31F) and father Ronald (43M) have drug abuse, mental health, and domestic issues. They have their entire relationship.
We received emergency custody about 8 months ago.
Here’s where I need some input on if we don’t take emergency custody of my SIL and Ronald’s baby who is now 5 weeks old. His name is Collin. He was removed from their care at a week old. He is currently with other resource parents who aren’t family. As there is not ANY other family within ours capable of taking these children.
My husband and I do not have any kids, we had a double income but since choosing to raise our niece and nephew I left my job to better take care of them and our home. (This was a mutual decision between my husband and I.)
We were literally in the process of trying for a baby when my husbands sister (Jessica) announced she was pregnant again, and then a few months later her older two kids were removed from her care.
Now that Collin is a month old, and Jessica and Ronald have made little to no progress: guardianship is on the table and I have concerns about the 3 kids not growing up together, or Collin currently creating bonds with strangers and issues that could cause down the line.
My heart is breaking and I’m so conflicted.