Hey HotTakes readers, Roger here, diving deep into the conundrum that can make or break a relationship faster than you can say ‘diaper change’. Today, we’re delving into a real story that’s as juicy as it is complex, straight out of the tangled webs of Reddit. Yes, dear readers, this is a tale of love, future dreams, and the ultimate deal-breaker: kids, or the lack thereof.
Imagine this: You’re seven months into a whirlwind romance. You’ve traded ‘I love yous’, shared dreams of white picket fences, and even muttered the ‘E’ word (engagement, people, keep up!). But then, you hit the mother of all roadblocks – your views on having children couldn’t be more different if they tried. Welcome to the life of our Reddit storyteller and her boyfriend. A tale as old as time, but with a modern twist. She doesn’t want kids, ever. He’s picturing a mini-me running around in the not-so-distant future. Cue dramatic music.
Now, let’s get one thing straight. The fear of pregnancy and childbirth isn’t irrational. Our leading lady doesn’t want to trade her bikini body for baby burping sessions, and who can blame her? The idea of pushing a human out of your body is about as appealing to her as a root canal without anesthesia. But it’s not just about the physical changes; it’s the whole package. The sleepless nights, the financial drain, and the daunting responsibility of shaping a tiny human. Plus, she raises a valid point about gender roles and the disproportionate burden on women. Fair? Not in the slightest.
But here’s the kicker: Despite her staunch stance against motherhood, she admits there’s something special about sharing a family with her beau. It’s enough to make your head spin faster than a carousel. Could surrogacy or adoption be the middle ground? Perhaps, but that’s a story for another day.
So, what’s a couple to do when one dreams of playdates while the other has nightmares about diaper duty? Our Reddit hero is grappling with the ultimate question: To stay or not to stay? They’re young, madly in love, and facing a crossroads that could lead to heartbreak or compromise. And let’s not forget the ticking clock on their proposed engagement. Talk about pressure!
**Roger’s Hot Take:**
Ladies and gents, here’s the deal. Love might conquer all, but it’s not going to babysit on Friday nights. This isn’t just any deal-breaker; it’s the motherlode. If one caves, resentment is likely to follow. So, my advice? Keep the conversation open. Explore all options, including non-traditional family structures. But above all, be honest with yourselves and each other. Breaking up over incompatible life goals is painful, but sometimes, it’s the most loving thing you can do.
My hot take might not be what you want to hear, but it’s served with a side of reality. After all, it’s better to part ways on good terms than to build a life on compromise that leaves everyone miserable. So, dear readers, love wisely, think long-term, and never underestimate the power of a good heart-to-heart chat. Until next time, keep those takes hot and your decisions hotter. Roger out.
Original story
My bf and I have been dating for 7 months now and it has been great. We have already said “I love you” and talked a lot about our future together, such as engagement timeline, moving in together, etc.
We have shortly discussed kids before, and my bf knew that I really didn’t want kids. I knew that my bf “might want kids later”, he phrased it that way.
Today, when we spoke about it seriously, he said that he doesn’t want to eliminate the option to have kids. He said he likely wants to have a kid in his early-mid 30’s (way later from now) and he fears that he wouldn’t feel fulfilled if he didn’t. He says his mind could change about this, but he doubts it, he just doesn’t like to speak in absolutes.
I have a similar yet opposite stance; I do not want kids. My mind could change 15 years from now, but as it stands now I really feel I would not be happy having kids for multiple reasons.
Firstly, the idea of pregnancy and giving birth horrifies me. I do not want to put my body and mind through all of that stress and I fear that my physical appearance would never be the same after childbirth. Also, the thought of pushing that baby out of me is terrifying.
Additionally, I don’t like the idea of never sleeping, constantly waking up to take care of a crying baby in the middle of the night, and dedicating my entire life to it.
The woman is expected to take care of the child, she has to bear it and give birth to it, too. I don’t think that’s fair. I think it’s easy for a man to want a kid and let the woman do all of the work.
Aside from that, it’s a huge financial burden, it’s basically a full-time job at home, and the kid might turn out to be delinquent or unsuccessful and then all of the effort will be for nothing.
As you can see, I don’t view having kids in a good light at all. That is my personal opinion. This is why this is a big issue. (Please don’t criticize my opinion, I know it is pessimistic but I do not want kids.)
I do like the idea of being a mommy and daddy, and having a family with boyfriend. Having a baby that’s half of his DNA and half of mine also feels special. Perhaps I would consider surrogacy or adoption later. However, what I said above still stands. Like I said, I could change my mind, but I doubt it.
So, my bf and I are unsure of how to proceed. Are we just incompatible? Is this the part where two people who care for eachother sadly have to split paths? Will we only resent eachother if one person compromises? (Yes.)
We really love eachother and both mutually want to make this work. It hurts so badly for us to end it.
We are still young and it is still very early. Should we stay together and continue this conversation later? Or is it time to end it here?
Also, I we talked about engagement within the next 2 years. Perhaps at our one year anniversary or a bit later. Therefore, this issue may be more prevalent in this context.