Oh, dear readers, take a seat and let me serve you a slice of today’s saucy drama straight from the oven of human pettiness and culinary calamities. This tale, my friends, comes to us courtesy of an actual human being pouring their gluten-intolerant heart out on Reddit. The pressing question on our plate: *Is it such a crime not to share a personal-sized pizza with three other people?* Lock up your pizza cutters, folks; it’s going to be a cheesy ride.
Imagine, if you will, a 35-year-old woman, nestled in the warm embrace of her own home, who dares to dream the unthinkable: eating her entire gluten-free pizza by herself. A pizza, I must add, which is basically a glorified cracker with toppings due to its size. Our protagonist, bless her heart, is not just battling celiac disease, but also the hunger pangs of pregnancy. Yet, the plot thickens as her husband, a man apparently devoid of understanding the size-to-appetite ratio when gluten-free and pregnant, suggests a communal pizza dinner with friends.
Picture this: Two large, glorious, gluten-packed pizzas for the wheat-tolerant trio, and one modest, gluten-free pizza destined for our heroine. Fair, right? Wrong! The husband, in a twist no one saw coming, expects her to slice her survival rations into charity for the others. I mean, heaven forbid someone should miss out on a slice of gluten-free goodness! Let’s pause here and pour out a little garlic sauce for our fallen pizza dreams.
Now, it’s important to remember our protagonist’s history. A previous pizza party turned into a feeding frenzy, with her gluten-free pizza being devoured by the gluten-enthusiastic gang before she could claim more than a few crumbs. Imagine the horror, the hunger, the heartbreak! And yet, history, like dough, has a way of rising again.
Fast forward to the present, and she’s labeled ‘ungrateful’ and told to fend for herself in the pizza procurement process. The audacity! The climax of our story reaches its peak when, after a standoff involving some choice words and a retreat upstairs, our pizza protagonist finds herself faced with a “Grateful Free” pizza and a side of snark from her husband.
So now, my dear readers, we arrive at the burning question: Is she the antagonist in this tale of dough and woe? Is her desire to not share her meager sustenance a sign of inhospitality? Or is it, perhaps, a reasonable expectation to enjoy her specially ordered pizza in peace?
**Roger’s Hot Take:** Let’s slice right through the cheese and get to the crust of the matter. In a world where pizza is often seen as a communal joy, there comes a time when a personal pizza, especially a gluten-free one meant for a celiac and pregnant individual, should be just that—personal. Expecting someone to share their already limited food under such circumstances is not just insensitive but a culinary injustice of the highest order. Food is personal, and in the case of dietary restrictions, it becomes even more so. Our protagonist is not the villain of our pie; she is simply a woman who wants to eat her pizza without having to ration the crust.
To the husband and the apparently gluttonous friends, I say this: May your crusts be soggy and your toppings sparse. And to our gluten-free warrior, I say, defend your pie with the fervor of a thousand pepperoni. After all, when it comes to pizza, some slices are just not meant to be shared.
In the grand scheme of things, the lesson is clear: Respect the pizza, respect the person. And maybe, just maybe, order enough pizza for everyone next time. Until then, this is Roger from HotTakes, reminding you that some tales are best told with a side of sass and extra cheese. Bon appétit!
Original story
This is my first time posting anything and I’m on mobile so unsure if I’m doing it right.
I (F35) am gluten free (celiac) and have been for over half my life. My husband (M35) is not. We had two friends stopping by for dinner who are also not gluten free.
My husband suggested we get pizza and mentioned to me that one of the friends only eats chicken as far as meat goes, so I should factor that into my order. I said, “well that doesn’t really affect me since I wasn’t planning on sharing, but noted, I’ll see what options they have for her.” Husband freaks out at me, because apparently I’m being ungrateful? He asked why I didn’t want to share and I said, “the gluten free pizzas are basically personal pizzas, and I regularly eat the whole thing when we order it. I’m supposed to offer half of mine to other people when I can’t eat what they are eating?” He wouldn’t hear me at all and said if I didn’t want to share I could pay for my own pizza myself. I don’t really care about paying for it myself but the idea that I’m supposed to give away some of my dinner when I can’t eat what other people are eating is stupid to me. It’s not like we are ordering every pizza gluten free. It just doesn’t make sense! They eat my food, I can’t eat their food. I can understand the principle of offering but… one gf pizza from this place is only enough for one person. If we were getting multiple gf ones I’d absolutely share, but they got two larges for the three of them. He continued to go on about how ungrateful I was being and said some other stupid stuff before I told him to fuck off and went upstairs.
I ended up just going upstairs and not eating or seeing them at all. I came downstairs later and he had ordered me a gluten free pizza and said from across the room, “are you ready for your Grateful Free pizza? You need to have a better attitude about things that aren’t yours in the future.” I didn’t reply or eat the pizza (I was already heating something else up and hadn’t noticed the pizza, but I will eat it later because I’m pregnant and starving all the time.)
Just for the record, this has happened before several years ago where we ordered pizza and only one gf for me, and it arrived and everyone thought mine looked super good (I don’t order regular pepperoni/tomato sauce) so the four other people (husband included) took over half my pizza before I even got a bite. It pissed me off because I then didn’t have enough food and they still had plenty PLUS pieces of mine. So perhaps this is a sore subject for me. Again, I’m also pregnant, though this would still bother me if I weren’t.
AITA and being ungrateful?