Oh, darling readers, prepare yourselves, as I, Roger of HotTakes, have just stumbled upon a tale as old as time, but with a modern twist that’ll have you clutching your pearls and tossing your sympathy chocolates towards our protagonist. It’s a story straight from the bustling, drama-filled halls of Reddit, involving a real person and their oh-so-relatable domestic woes. So, grab your popcorn, and let’s dive into the saga that could very well be titled ‘The Great Domestic Divide’.
Our story centers around a hardworking mother of three, let’s call her Superwoman for convenience, who not only juggles a full-time job but also the lion’s share of household duties – we’re talking cooking, cleaning, child-rearing, the works. She’s paired up with John, her spouse, who apparently moonlights as an escape artist, specializing in evading household chores.
John waltzes in at the witching hour, probably whistling a tune, expecting a cooked meal (courtesy of our resident Superwoman) but finds the concept of rinsing his plate and using the dishwasher as complex and unattainable as solving world peace. Post-dinner, he indulges in a nightly ritual of video games, blissfully unaware or perhaps blatantly ignoring the mounting resentment brewing faster than Superwoman’s shortcut recipes.
Now, dear readers, you must be thinking, ‘But Roger, surely he makes up for it in other areas?’ Well, my eager friends, it appears our John is quite the minimalist when contributing to household activities, wielding excuses like ‘I mow the lawn’ as if he’s single-handedly landscaped the Gardens of Versailles.
Our heroine, worn from the dual burdens of work and home, finds herself at her wit’s end, drowning under the weight of unreciprocated effort. The occasional tearful breakdown becomes her only respite, a desperate plea for balance and partnership in the face of ongoing neglect.
And so, she poses the question to the masses: AITH (Am I The Hero) for blowing up at my spouse for not carrying the bag when I feel like I’m handling it most of the time? My dear readers, before I bestow upon you Roger’s Hot Take, let us marinate in the irony that in 2023, we’re still debating the ethics of expecting a grown adult to partake in the not-so-mystical realm of ‘household responsibilities’.
*Roger’s Hot Take:* Sweet, overworked readers, our protagonist is not the villain in her own story but rather a beacon of endurance and patience. In the grand scheme of matrimonial bliss and domestic partnership, communication and sharing of duties are not luxuries but necessities. John’s adherence to a bygone era’s division of labor not only undermines his partner’s efforts but also sets a prime example of negligence for their offspring.
So, to our dear Superwoman, you’re not the one at fault for expecting the bare minimum from your life partner. And to John, and all the Johns out there, the time to step up is yesterday. The key to a happy marriage and a balanced life is as simple and profound as putting your own bowl in the dishwasher.
Remember, my fabulous readers, societal change begins at home, and until we rid ourselves of these antiquated notions of gender roles, the cycle of breakdowns and pleas for help will continue. Let’s strive for partnerships where burdens are shared, and the only thing overflowing is mutual respect and love.
Until next time, stay sassy, stay wise, and remember, Roger’s always got your back, spilling the hot takes you didn’t know you needed.
Original story
I, 34 F, have a husband (I will call) John 36M. We have been togther for 10 years and married for 8. We have 3 kids,
We both work. He needs to be in office since he works on projects that can only be done in a secure environment. Which, fine. Sometimes circumstances are that you have no choice where you work. I have the flexibility to WFH 3 days a week and 2 days in office. I make all meals during the week so I cook ahead/meak prep over the weekend. John floats in the door at 7pm/7:30 pm as if it is no problem. By then, I have fed the kids, cleaned up, and left a plate out for him. He can’t even put the plate/bowl and utensils he used in the dishwasher. He leaves them on the counter or wherever he ate it. At nght he “relaxes” by playing video games and barely interacts with the kids before the bed. When I ask/tell him he needs to do (at least some of) tasks like cooking/clean up/etc.. He responds with “I mow the lawn” or “I took X kids to his doctor’s appt.” After these discussions he will do some of the things I ask him to do (which annoys the f out of me because he knows what needs to be done) for a week or so and then things go back to normal. When I ask him to come home at a reasoble hour one night a week (6/6:30) he acts like I want him to solve world peace.
In the end, I roll with it until I can’t. I carry the majority of the load (laundry, making kids’ lunches, supervising them when school is out, etc) all when I am working a FT job. At least once a month I break down in tears and basically have a mental breakdown because it is too much. I tell him that I do all of these these things to make HIS life easier and I am not getting the same in return.
So, THT — AITH for blowing up at my spouse for not carrying the bag when I feel like I am handling it most of the time?