Hello, darlings! It’s your favorite sassy and witty commentator, Roger, diving deep into the doughy drama of domestic disputes. Picture this: a battle over bread that tears a family asunder, leaving crumbs of disillusionment in its wake. This, my beloved readers, is no fable. It’s the very real tale of a Reddit user caught in a yeast-y conundrum with his father. Yes, you heard it right from this arbiter of arboreal alimentation: a real Reddit story from a real person, proving once more that truth is stranger (and often saltier) than fiction. So, buckle up as we knead through the details of this loaf-centric lament. Our protagonist, a 19-year-old self-proclaimed germaphobe and amateur culinary enthusiast, discovers the elixir of life itself at Trader Joe’s: sun-dried tomato parmesan bread. However, like all great epics, tragedy looms on the horizon. Enter the antagonist: a 65-year-old, presumably carb-craving dad with a penchant for plundering pantry goods. After an initial breach of bread protocol, our hero petitions for a ceasefire by requesting the purchase of two loaves, employing the ancient art of Sharpie signage to declare his doughy domain. Alas, the best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry, especially when it comes to baked goods. The loaf is compromised, feelings are heated to a perfect golden brown, and the stage is set for the Great Bread Battle of 2023. Amid accusations and counteraccusations, familial fault lines are exposed over missing morsels, culminating in a crescendo of cries over car confiscations and cannabinoid conundrums. Now, my eager epicureans, as we stand amidst the crumbs of this crusty conflict, one question rises like perfectly proofed dough: Who is the true yeast beast in this bakery brawl? Is it the son, guarding his grains like a glutenous Gollum? Or the father, a carb-loving marauder blind to the bounds of bread ownership? Here’s Roger’s Hot Take: At the heart of this floury fiasco is not mere mastication mismanagement, but a familial feast on communication, respect, and understanding. Our breadwinner, in his quest for culinary satisfaction, forgot that the breaking of bread is an act of sharing, not just of gluten but of love and compromise. Could he have baked in some parental patience, perhaps kneaded a touch more empathy into his approach? Conversely, our paterfamilias, seemingly risen from the ranks of the ravenous, might have benefited from a pinch of perception, recognizing that his actions were the leavening agent of his son’s distress. So, my dear dough devotees, as we slice through the crust of this tale, let us remember: In every loaf lurks a lesson, and in every crumb, a call for communication. Until next time, keep your knives sharp, your butter soft, and your takes hotter than a fresh batch of biscuits straight out of the oven. Ciao for now, -Roger
Original story
So I (19m) got in a fight with my Dad (65m) over bread. A month ago i was at Trader Joes, I was looking around and found this sun dried tomato parmesan bread, so i bought some. Flash forward a couple days and i had eaten about half of it and it was just sitting in the pantry a couple days so my dad tried it and liked it, i hadn’t touched it in a couple days so he ate some and wrapped it up and put it back in the pantry.
Most of what i had left was gone so i questioned him about it and he mentioned that it was going to start molding soon so he ate some. I understood and i didn’t care because i hadn’t touched it. My mom was going to Trader Joes soon and i asked her to get two so we could have our own.
When we got the bread I noticed there were optional oven instructions on the back so i decided to save it until i could cook it in the oven, yet my dad immediately ripped into his and started eating on it then he put it in a ziplock baggie in the fridge. To avoid confusion i grabbed a sharpie and wrote “ZACHS ONLY DO NOT TOUCH PLEASE” over the entire front of the package.
So a week went by and i asked my mom if she minded cooking it to which she agreed. (The only reason i don’t to it myself is because I’m inexperienced and knew id probably end up forgetting it in there and burning it. My mom would do a better job anyways and also my dad does not let me touch the oven) I went to get the bread but to my surprise it was in a big ziplock baggie. And it was right next to his which was half eaten in a different ziplock baggie. I pulled it out and it had a big chunk out of the top and i was upset because my dad eats with his fingers and licks them.
Im a germaphobe, so i dont eat or drink after people. My dad came in the room and i was visibly upset. I questioned why he ate it, he said he didnt notice it was mine. I cut him off asking how he didnt since mine was marked, whole, and in a sealed package. I came off aggressive was not yelling, to which he responded by yelling that i could have some of his it wasnt a big deal. I frustratedly started yelling back and I said i was saving it and couldnt understand how he didnt notice that it was mine. I decided to walk away when he said “whats your problem are you on drugs again!?”
About two months ago i was arrested for having weed in my car and spent the night in jail which was the most traumatizing experience ive been through. Ive been clean since but was still really sore about it and he knows cause ive been upset with jokes hes made about it. The Police department is trying to seize my car since is paid off and they can get free money so he has been driving me most places.
I shut myself in my room and cried and he came to my door and yelled “good luck getting to school tomorrow (i have a big exam tomorrow) and to work next week” (im starting a second job cause i have so many fees from the arrest) needless to say im upset but conflicted since i did act out. Am i the asshole?