Suddenly Hating EVERYTHING About Your Long-Term Beau? You’re Not Alone, Honey!

Hello, lovelies! It’s your favorite sassy and witty commentator, Roger, here, ready to dish out another steaming plate of hot takes on a story that’s as spicy as my last date (which, let me tell you, ended with a fire alarm—long story). Today, we’re diving headfirst into a real Reddit saga that’s got more twists and turns than my Aunt Carol’s love life. And that’s saying something. The thread? A soul, four years deep into a relationship, suddenly finds themselves repulsed by everything their significant other does. Oh, the drama! Buckle up, buttercup, because this is one bumpy ride you’ll want to see through to the very end, where Roger’s Hot Take awaits you like the finale of your favorite soap opera. Ready? I thought so. Let’s go. 

First off, picture this: You’re years into what you thought was a picture-perfect relationship. You’ve shared secrets, dreams, maybe even a Netflix password (which, as we all know, is the true modern indicator of trust). And then, seemingly out of nowhere, like a sneeze in a quiet room or a fart in an elevator, you find yourself repulsed by the mere sight of your partner. The way they chew, breathe, or even exist suddenly makes you want to hurl a vase at the wall. And not just any vase, but that ugly one you’ve been pretending to like for years. Sound familiar? Well, if it does, honey, you’re in a pickle. And not the fun, delicious kind. 

The Reddit user in question finds themselves in such a predicament. Four blissful (or so they thought) years down the drain because suddenly everything their partner does is equivalent to nails on a chalkboard. The confessions pour in: the lovey-dovey texts that used to make their heart flutter now incite eye rolls so hard they’re practically somersaults. Weekend plans with bae? More like a schedule of torture. And those quirks they once found endearing are now deal-breakers. 

You might be asking, ‘Roger, what in the world is going on here?’ Honey, if I had a dime for every time love turned into loathing overnight, I’d be sipping margaritas on my own private island and not here spilling the tea for your entertainment (though, let’s be real, I love it here). 

So, what do we make of this? Is it a case of the seven-year itch come early, or is there something deeper at play? Perhaps our hapless lover is experiencing what psychologists call ‘relationship burnout.’ Much like that candle you forgot to blow out before leaving the house, things have gotten a little too hot to handle. The excitement has fizzled out, replaced by the mundane reality that is life. And let’s not even get started on the possibility of personal growth or change—that in itself could be a whole other article. 

Now, for those of you munching on your popcorn, eagerly awaiting Roger’s Hot Take, here it is: Relationships, my dears, are like gardens. They need regular tending, a lot of sunlight, and a fair amount of manure to really thrive. If you find yourself suddenly hating everything about your partner, it might just be your inner self screaming for a change. Not necessarily a change of partner (though, for some, that might be the answer), but a change in the relationship dynamics. Communication, as cliché as it sounds, is key. It’s time to sit down and have those tough conversations. Are your needs being met? Are there unresolved issues bubbling under the surface like a witch’s brew? 

And let’s not forget the most important question of all: Do you even want to salvage the relationship, or is it time to let go and grow separately? It’s a tough pill to swallow, honey, but sometimes love isn’t all you need. 

So, before you go off the deep end, take a moment to reflect. Maybe all you need is a little relationship spring cleaning to dust off the cobwebs and let the love shine through again. Or, perhaps, it’s time to thank each other for the memories and move on to the next chapter. Whatever you decide, remember, Roger’s got your back. I’ll be here, ready to serve you a fresh plate of reality checks and advice, with a side of sass, of course. 

Until next time, keep your hearts open and your spirits high. Remember, in the grand scheme of things, a little relationship turbulence is just a blip on the radar. Over and out, Roger.

Original story

Hi guys. This is going to hurt me to type but I could really use some advice.

My boyfriend and I have been together since our freshman year of high school. We’re now freshmen in college. We go to different schools but they’re not too far apart so we visit each other every weekend or so.

I’ll just get right into it: I think I may genuinely hate him. And it’s so fucked up because he’s the sweetest, most helpful, most generous, just perfect boyfriend. He’s never been anything but good to me these last 4 years. But lately, I’ve found myself disliking more and more things about him. The last time we hung out (this past weekend) everything he did pissed me off irrationally. The way he stood, the clothes he wore, how he walked, spoke, his hobbies. I started thinking he was too thin, too short, not hairy enough, not masculine enough. Just picking at every perceived flaw I didn’t care about before. Yesterday I found myself checking out other guys and desiring them when I’ve never ever desired people like that. Looks never even mattered to me.

But despite these awful feelings, the thought of leaving him breaks my heart. He’s my person. It’s been 4 years and we were with each other through so much. I don’t understand how I can go from love to hate like this. Especially when the things I hate aren’t even his fault.

Please help.

UPDATE:

I met up with my boyfriend and broke up with him. I wasn’t completely honest of course (it would be evil if I was), but I did tell him I felt like something changed within me and I’m not fit to be with him at the moment. He was the first one to propose remaining friends/staying in contact which made me super happy because I’d hate to just become strangers. He then asked me if there was any chance we could be getting back together. Remembering that these feelings began after I got on the depo provera shot 8 months ago, I said that there probably would be a chance after my hormones became regulated again. I loved him before that god-forsaken shot so there is a chance that I’ll love him when it’s all out of my system. It was overall a very amicable break-up.

I’ll be honest: I feel extremely relieved and the happiest I’ve felt in a while. Besides the hormone changes, you guys also helped me realize that I’m simply different at 19 than I was at 15. And being in this new environment makes me want to try new things. I do feel very excited at the thought of experiencing a different guy, but nervous too. Like a lot of you said, they VERY likely won’t treat me as well as my ex did and I’ll probably end up with a broken heart. But a part of me is even excited about that! New experiences are new experiences after all.

If my ex and I end up coming back together then that’s perfection but if not then at least I know we ends on a good note. We’re going to a convention this weekend as friends 🙂

Thanks everyone!