Ho ho ho, folks! Gather around because I have a Yuletide tale that’s juicier than the turkey at your Christmas dinner. Picture this: a cozy, bustling family gathering, the clinking of glasses, the laughter of children, and then boom! A truth bomb so perfectly timed, it makes your eggnog curdle. Straight out of Reddit’s treasure trove of family feuds, this real story is dished out by a courageous, or should I say, brilliantly cunning, nurse practitioner who decided enough was enough with parental nagging over his ‘sinful’ cohabitation. Oh, the scandal of it all in a very religious household! But, dear readers, our protagonist wasn’t going to carve the holiday roast without serving a slice of reality pie first. Buckle up, for this is one rollercoaster of a dinner narrative you’d wish you had front row seats to.
The crux of our tale centers around our hero, facing the age-old ‘living in sin’ lecture from his pious parents during Christmas dinner. You know, the usual ‘married-in-the-eyes-of-the-Lord’ spiel that could make even the baby Jesus roll his eyes. But plot twist—a sharp pivot to premature birth stats turns the tables in a way that would make the Three Wise Men stop in their tracks. That’s right, folks, our protagonist, with the stealth of a medical ninja, brings up a ‘premature’ birth story that hits closer to home than the Star of Bethlehem to David’s City.
Now, consider the audacity, the sheer genius of using one’s professional knowledge as a nurse practitioner to draw a line in the proverbial biblical sand. But it’s not just any line; it’s one that uncovers a family secret faster than you can say ‘Frankincense.’ Our hero knew his oldest brother’s birth weight and length contradicted the premature narrative like a shepherd’s flock defying gravity. And just like that, the topic of ‘living in sin’ evaporated like moisture from the Sea of Galilee.
But oh, it doesn’t end there. Post-turkey, our intrepid truth-sayer faces backlash for airing the family’s not-so-clean laundry in public. Talk about a not-so-silent night! The real kicker? The threat to keep the family’s matrimonial timing inconsistencies in the holiday spotlight if the ‘sinning’ comments persist. A move so bold, it could part the Red Sea—or at least family opinions on privacy.
So, as the dust settles on this biblical battleground, we’re left to ponder: Is our protagonist the Asshole? Or is he the unsung hero of holiday dinners, where truth prevails, and hypocrisy gets served a cold dish of reality?
**Roger’s Hot Take:** Not the asshole, my festive friends. In a world where family dynamics play out like a season of Game of Thrones, sometimes the only way to combat fire-breathing dragons (or dragon-like dogmas) is with the sharp sword of truth. Our hero used his wit, his profession, and a sprinkle of sass to protect his beloved from the fiery pits of family judgment. And for that, I say, pour this man another glass of eggnog, for he has won Christmas.
Remember, dear readers, the holiday season is about love, understanding, and sometimes, a little bit of strategic fact-sharing to keep the peace—or at least keep dinner conversations about the weather or how the Grinch stole Christmas. Until next time, keep your holiday spirits high and your tolerance for family BS low. This is Roger, logging off with a wink and a nudge, reminding you that sometimes the greatest gift of all is a well-timed truth bomb. Merry everything, everyone!
Original story
I am a nurse practitioner and I am the primary care provider for a lot of the low risk maternity cases at the practice where I work. I also work hand in hand with the doctors and midwives to create a healthy maternity, birth, and postpartum situation.
My fiancee is completing her residency. We live together and have for a few years now. We aren’t in any hurry to get married. We originally had plans to do so a couple of years ago but then we got really busy for two years.
It is driving my very religious parents crazy that their youngest son is living in sin. I don’t really care. I’m an adult and I do what I want. We are getting married in June.
So we are visiting my parents for Christmas. The way it came together this year everyone is at my parents house. So that’s my folks, my three siblings, myself and fiancee, and seven grandchildren. So seventeen people.
At dinner my mom starts going on about how she is so glad that we are finally getting married and she won’t be embarrassed at church any more. And my dad says how proud he is of his three older kids who all either waited to get married before moving in together or got married right away after moving in together. My fiancee was getting embarrassed and I was getting mad over this stupid argument we have had too many times. And a family dinner was the last straw.
I have asked them repeatedly to just accept that they cannot control how I live my life. I refuse to stay with them when I visit even if I come alone. Hotels are just easier.
So I started talking about a premature baby I had been reading about. It was almost three months premature and weighed about 1.6 pounds. It was super strong and healthy for being born so little and the NICU had high hopes for the baby doing well.
My mom and dad both got deer in the headlights looks on their faces. To bad. Should not have fucked around with my fiancee’s feelings.
So I asked about my oldest brother. He was born almost four months premature. Is there a chance that we could check out the family album where we keep all the records of family births and stuff.
I already know my brother was over 9 pounds and almost 23″ long when he was born. My grandmother told me all about it the first time my parents tried to shame me.
The subject gets changed very fast. After supper my parents told me that I should not try to embarrass them with private things that are not my concern. I told them that if I heard anything about my living arrangements ever again for the rest of my life I would make sure to keep bringing up the FACT that my mom was in her second trimester when they got married.
My parents are mad at me for telling them how to behave in their own home. But my fiancee is happy that they seem to be off the subject for good.
AITA?