Pregnancy, Libido, and Lovin’: A Roller Coaster Called Parenthood
Welcome to the thrilling ride of pregnancy, where everything is magnified and emotions run wild. Buckle up, darlings, because today we’re diving into a Reddit post that’s hotter than a hormonal summer night.
The Saga Begins
So, here’s the tea. A 27-year-old chap and his 25-year-old partner have been blissfully navigating life together for three years. They recently hit a wonderful milestone—they’re going to be parents! Cue the confetti and the morning sickness. Everything seemed peachy until our protagonist noticed a shift more awkward than a three-legged race: his libido decided to rollerblade out of the rink. The idea of getting his jiggy on while his partner is pregnant makes him feel queasier than she does.
Now, while he’s still madly in love and finds his partner as attractive as ever, he’s battling with a sex drive that’s gone on a gap year. The kicker? His partner is missing their once robust bedroom escapades and thinks his reluctance is a sure sign that he’s no longer into her. Ouch. That’s a double-edged sword of guilt right there.
The Anatomy of Awkwardness
Oh, don’t we just love a good ol’ mix of hormones and feelings? Our dear friend has hit the interwebs to lay out his predicament, hoping for a flood of online wisdom. It’s here we find that he’s tried to explain his worries—he’s fretting over hurting the baby and anxious about his partner’s comfort. And, yes, he’s aware that penetrative sex is generally considered safe during pregnancy, but facts alone cannot wrestle down his anxious brain.
As a temporary measure, he’s rolled out the red carpet for alternative forms of intimacy: cuddling, massages, and even oral sex. Yet, his partner isn’t really buying what he’s selling and misses their passionate vertical (and horizontal) marathon. Ravishing pregnancy or not, she wants to turn up the heat, and she’s not shy about saying he should just “get over it.”
The Verdict: A Villain, a Victim or Just Human?
Let me spill a little wisdom here—relationships aren’t always a bed of roses, especially when a wee one is on the way. Our protagonist wonders whether he’s the certified jerk in this situation for not wanting to bump uglies right now. Redditors, in their infinite keyboard-bound glory, bring out the pitchforks and reasons, some siding with her needs, others saying his worries are valid.
Newsflash: Emotions are complicated, and here comes the unpopular opinion: He’s not really an asshole. Annoying? Maybe. Misunderstood? Absolutely. Selfish? Not quite. Sure, he needs a better way to communicate, but we cannot forget that he’s coming from a place of love, not scorn. Loving someone means caring about their comfort and safety, and sometimes that manifests in awkward abstinence.
Moreover, yes, darlings, male libidos can crash land during a partner’s pregnancy. It’s a shock, it’s an adjustment, and it doesn’t always fit snugly into the pregnancy glow fantasy. The urge to protect, the discomfort with physical changes, and plain old anxiety are enough to send any libido into hiding.
Roger’s Sage Sass
You see, dears, it’s all about the dialogue. Open, raw dialogue that doesn’t get boiled down to
Original story
My partner 25F and I 27M have been together for 3 years and recently found out she’s pregnant. We’re both excited but it’s a big change.
Since she got pregnant, I’ve noticed my sex drive has decreased a lot. I still find my partner attractive but the idea of having sex while she’s pregnant makes me uncomfortable.
I’ve tried to explain this to her but she thinks I’m not attracted to her anymore.
I’ve read that it’s normal for men to experience a lower libido during their partner’s pregnancy. I’m worried about hurting the baby, even though I know it’s safe.
I also worry about my partner’s comfort level. She’s been having morning sickness and is often tired.
I’ve suggested other ways to be intimate like cuddling, massage, and oral sex. But my partner really misses the penetrative sex we used to have.
She thinks I’m being selfish and that I should just “get over it.”Am I the asshole for not wanting to have sex right now?
I still love my partner deeply and am excited to be a dad. I just need some time to adjust to this new normal.
Any advice would be appreciated.