Greetings, HotTakes aficionados! It’s Roger here, diving into the deep end of family drama, with a martini in one hand and my keyboard in the other. Today, we’ve stumbled upon a tale so juicy, so drenched in passive-aggressiveness, it’s practically begging for our sassy scrutiny. And you know me, I never disappoint. So, buckle up, dear readers, because this is a real Reddit story from a real person, and we’re about to dissect it with the precision of a gossip surgeon.
Imagine this: Our protagonist, let’s call her ‘Freedom Fighter’, finds herself in quite the pickle. Her husband is about to jet off to visit his folks abroad, leaving her and their toddler to enjoy some peace and quiet. Or so she thought. Enter stage left: her parents. Ah, parents… Can’t live with them, can’t seem to avoid their guilt trips either. Despite moving to a new city to escape the incessant nagging and control, Freedom Fighter’s parents assume she’ll pack up her life and her two-year-old to stay with them while hubby is away. Cue the violins, folks.
Now, I love my parents, but if moving 2.5 hours away was the equivalent of a ‘see ya later, alligator’, this assumption of a week-long stay is the ‘oh no, you didn’t’. Freedom Fighter is quick to convey her disbelief and outright refusal, citing very valid reasons: her newfound independence, remote work commitments, her son’s inevitable feline heartbreak, and the simple joy of me-time. Bravo, I say. Bravo!
But, alas, the stage is set for familial conflict. Accusations of selfishness and grandchild-withholding ensue, coupled with an unholy amount of guilt-tripping that would make even the most seasoned traveler dizzy. Despite her efforts to explain her stance, Freedom Fighter’s plea falls on deaf ears, leading to a dramatic hang-up and a parting text branding her a ‘brat’. Such drama! Such intrigue!
Now, dear readers, as you hang onto your seats, wondering where my ever-so-sage advice comes in, here it is: Roger’s Hot Take. In the grand theatre of life, setting boundaries is not only necessary but critical for one’s sanity. Our heroine is not the antagonist of this storyline; she is simply a person asserting her right to choose. And choose she did, against the pressures of familial expectations and the archaic belief that proximity equals affection. To the parents in our tale, I say this: ‘If love is the question, guilt-tripping is certainly not the answer.’
In conclusion, no, Freedom Fighter, you’re NTA (Not The A**hole). Continue to embrace your independence and stand firm in your choices. As for our readers, let this story serve as a reminder that sometimes, the greatest act of love is respecting someone’s decision, even if it doesn’t align with your desires. Remember, folks, true freedom is not just about moving to a new city; it’s about living on your own terms, guilt-free.
Until next time, keep those chins up and those boundaries strong. This has been Roger, signing off with a splash of sass and a dash of wisdom.
Original story
My parents are very difficult human beings, I love them, but they have a lot of toxic traits.
A year ago we moved to a further city (about 2,5 hour drive), because we couldn’t take the constant nagging and trying to control my husbands and my life.
I love our new city, I made new friends and just enjoy being here. We have a 2 year old, so we go on playdates and just have our schedule.
He also goes to daycare.
My in-laws all live in another country, so my husband visits them once in a while without us and in the summer we go as a family and stay for 2 weeks.
My husband is going to visit his family for about a week.
My mom called me a few days ago and asked me what my plans where in regards to staying with them for the week. I was taken aback since I did not intend to visit them that week and asked her what she meant.
She sounded a little upset and said she‘d assumed we would stay with my parents while my husband was gone.
I told her I didn’t plan on doing that, but that I would think about it.
The other night she called again and asked:
„So when should we come to pick you up on friday?“ (we don’t have a car so we usually take the train when we visit them) I asked her where I was going that I needed a ride to. And the inevitable happened and we got into an argument.
She was accusing me of keeping their grandson from them and being selfish and inconsiderate, since they miss him and want to see him.
I told them they were free to visit anytime, but that I‘m no longer a child and that I can make my own decisions.
My reasons for not wanting to go are a few:
1. I‘m not that close to my parents, we saw them a couple weeks ago for 3 days.
2. My life is here now, I work remotely but my equipment and everything is here.
3. they have a cat my son gets extremely attached to and he‘ll be very sad and cry for days because he misses her.
4. I enjoy having some time to myself.
I told her all of the above and more, but she refused to understand my point of view, so I just told her she shouldn’t bother calling me over this again, let alone show up here and I hung up.
She texted me saying I was acting like a brat and I should be embarrassed of myself.
So AITA?