Hello, my dear readers! It’s your favorite sassy, bold, and undeniably witty wordsmith, Roger, coming at you from HotTakes. Today, I’m diving into a story so ripe it’ll have your eyes watering – and no, I’m not exaggerating. Gather round as I unravel a real Reddit tale that reeks of romance and… onions? Yes, you read that correctly. Onions. So, strap in and maybe grab a nose plug, because you’ll want to savor this story to the very end, where, as always, Roger’s Hot Take awaits you.
Our tale comes from a troubled soul, desperately seeking advice on Reddit without judgment. She’s head-over-heels for her beau, a 36-year-old charmer, who’s as kind and sensitive as they come. Their love is the stuff of fairy tales, but alas, every story has its dragon. In this case, it’s not a fire-breathing beast but an equally fearsome adversary – body odor that assaults the senses like a horde of raw onions tucked neatly under his arms. Despite his daily showers, the kingdom of Body Odor City crowns him king in just a couple of hours.
The fair maiden is at her wits’ end. Her knight refuses to wear deodorant, crying foul over the chemicals within. She’s tried the gentle approach, dropping hints as delicately as one might handle a stink bomb. When subtlety failed, she opted for bluntness, straight-up telling her love that he smells like an onion. Laughter was his response, until bluntness turned to pleas and he deemed her words as hurtful arrows to his heart. Our damsel, ever resourceful, offered a natural deodorant as a gift, hoping it would be his sword against the odorous dragon for an upcoming quest to a hot country. Alas, it remained untouched.
Here’s where things get juicier. The onion-scented knight is a white European, scarcely furred, leading a life of vegetarianism, sobriety, and clean living. Yet, none of these noble choices seem to shield him from his pungent plight. Our maiden is at a crossroads, torn between her love for her beau and the air she breathes. ‘What do I do???’ she cries into the abyss of the internet, hoping for a miracle.
Now, my lovelies, it’s time for Roger’s Hot Take. First and foremost, communication is key in any relationship. Our maiden has tried, yes, but it seems her knight may not grasp the full gravity of the situation. It’s one thing to choose natural living, but quite another to marinate in one’s essence. Love may be blind, but it certainly has a nose. It’s crucial for our damsel to find a way to convey that this isn’t just about personal preference – it’s about mutual respect and the health of their relationship.
Moreover, exploring the reason behind the onion aura is essential. Could it be diet, genetics, or something more? A doctor or dermatologist might offer solutions that don’t compromise his chemical-free crusade. In the age of modern alchemy, there’s surely a potion (or lotion) to banish the dragon of B.O. without resorting to harsh chemicals.
Lastly, our fair maiden might need to consider if this is a deal-breaker. Love requires compromise, but it also demands that we accept our partners for who they are – onions and all. If the air of onion becomes too thick to breathe, she may need to ponder if this is a storm she can weather. After all, you can’t make an omelette without breaking a few eggs – or in this case, slicing a few onions.
In the grand tapestry of love, smells will weave in and out, some pleasant and some not. It’s how we navigate these scented waters that test the strength of our bonds. So, to our distressed damsel and her onion knight, I say: May the winds of change bring you fresher air and a future where your love blossoms, free from the shadow of the mighty onion.
Until next time, keep your hearts open and your nostrils clear. Roger, over and out.
Original story
I (f36) need some advice without judgement. I love my boyfriend (36)very much and he’s a very kind person and sensitive. We are very happy but ..
He stinks. It smells like he’s packing raw onions under his arms. He showers every day but after two hours it’s body oder city.
He said he doesn’t like to wear deodorant cuz there are chemicals.
I said very politely that he smells strong and i would love him to use deodorant and he ignored it.
Another time I said very straight forward that he smells like onion. He laughed.
Then another time I straight up said he stinks and he got upset and said I hurt his feelings.
I bought him a natural deodorant for an upcoming trip “since we will be in a hot country” and he never touched it.
I’m not sure if this matters but he’s a white European with not alot of hair. He’s vegetarian and healthy and doesn’t drink or smoke and doesn’t have any illness.
What do I do??? I love this person very much and don’t want to hurt his feelings but I can’t hang out with him without an open window.