Gather ’round, food enthusiasts and relationship drama aficionados, because I have a juicy morsel for you today. Our tale hails straight from the internet’s favorite dramaturgy stage, Reddit, where a young man bravely shared his plight under the ever-intriguing thread, “Am I the Asshole?” Spoiler: The protagonist is a guy (27M) and his picky-eater girlfriend (30F), and let me tell you, the drama is richer than béarnaise sauce.
The Culinary Conundrum
Picture this: Our hero, let’s call him Chef Boy, has a tornado of kitchen flair. Nothing insane—no foie gras, just some good ol’ home-cooked joy with down-to-earth ingredients like chicken, pasta, and a sprinkle of parmesan that he buys himself. He finds solace and joy in crafting edibles, a modern-day Michelangelo with a spatula, and he can’t fathom life through a microwave-only lens.
Enter Stage Left: Girlfriend. Let’s nickname her “Miss Microwave.” She’s chill with ramen for dinner and can’t be bothered to contribute financially to Chef Boy’s culinary escapades because, hey, it’s not her hobby, right? With a $55k salary, she’s not exactly scraping by, but our Sir Sizzle (who earns only two-thirds of her income) is the one flexing the credit card for every filet, tomato, and jar of gourmet pesto.
The Leftover Dilemma
Here’s where it gets spicier than that last dab of hot sauce you were dared to taste. Despite not contributing to ingredients, Miss Microwave has zero qualms about inhaling the fruits of Chef Boy’s labor, leaving hardly a morsel lingering in the Tupperware for tomorrow. Cue Chef Boy taking the leftovers to work to nourish himself amidst the cubicles. And oh boy, does Miss Microwave see red.
Miss Microwave claps back, essentially saying, “I didn’t ask for your dinner parties! You can’t expect me to fund your culinary dreams, and also dare to take the leftovers with you. Selfish much?”
And boom, the plot thickens. Tension simmers like a whistling kettle as she cries foul over Chef Boy’s possessive nature about his food—a quality she claims is repellant, while still conveniently gobbling the remnants of his culinary creativity.
Hypocrisy, Served Hot
Freeloading Miss Microwave utters the relationship equivalent of taking a cake and eating it too. Her rationale? “I’d never ask you to pay for my gym membership because that’s my hobby, not yours.” Well, sure, but nobody’s stuffing their face with toned abs after a workout, are they?
By the way, let’s clear something up in one swift culinary cut: this isn’t Benedict Arnold joining forces with dubious British forces. Most of the time, Chef Boy leaves the leftovers. He provides a minimal but present assortment of fast and easy microwaveable delights for Miss Microwave to feast on while he’s away. But that doesn’t stop her from consuming those carefully curated, pre-dawn frozen breakfast burritos—intended for Chef Boy’s mornings-on-the-go.
The Verdict?
Grab your gavels, because it’s time for Roger’s Royal Ruling. I don’t need a jury to taste-test this relationship conundrum.
Here’s the deal listeners (and I hope you’re savoring this): Miss Microwave has a monumental lack of appreciation that leaves a sour note. It’s irksome for Chef Boy to fund what essentially becomes a one-man dinner theater without a standing ovation or even a nod of “let me chip in on those groceries.”
Miss Microwave, honey, you might not have asked for your boyfriend’s gourmet dinners, but you’re certainly indulging in them. You can’t ride this culinary train for free and then whine when Sir Sizzle takes some perks for himself. It’s not about just the food, it’s about supporting each other’s passions—no product endorsement necessary.
If there’s a takeaway here (pun totally intended), it’s that the kitchen isn’t a battleground; it’s a shared space of love and appreciation. Buy the man some cherry tomatoes and stop mooching off his Milanos. And Chef Boy, it’s high time to have an adult convo about mutual respect and shared contribution. If Miss Microwave can’t cut it, then maybe it’s time for her flavor to exit stage left.
Oh, and by the way, Chef Boy—kudos on the curry and enchiladas. Your passion is more than flavor; it’s fiery dedication. Don’t let mediocrity steal a bite.
Original story
My (27M) girlfriend (30F) has no appreciation of good food. Before me, she was eating microwavable mac and cheese, jarred alfredo and noodles, salad kits and pretty much nothing else ever.
Doesn’t cook at all. Those things are fine or whatever, but I can’t eat that everyday.
I’m an amateur chef, and I like to cook. Like most days.
I’m not into any crazy expensive meals or anything, but I’ll put $30 into a grocery store run and make food for us all the time. At the very least, if I’m using pesto from a jar, I’ll go buy some cherry tomatoes or a chicken breast and keep parmesan around.
That’s too much to her.
She doesn’t want to contribute to dinner like ever claiming she’s fine with microwavable ramen for dinner and can’t afford to pay for groceries all the time (she makes $55k per year and we split all expenses half and half) so I end up footing the grocery bill every time I cook. I understand, there’s no way to change her relationship with food.
There’s no way to change mine. I’ll just buy the groceries.
(To clarify, we go on grocery trips together where we split the costs 50-50, we just happen to only get stuff like drinks, snacks, common ingredients sometimes. Rarely full ingredient lists for meals) So like 3-4 times per week, I get the urge to cook something cool and go buy all the ingredients myself, never charging her for those meals.
So I make meals sometimes like giant pots of curry or enchiladas. Before we moved in officially, I’d take most of the leftovers home or sometimes all.
I’d take the leftovers with me to work too. She claims that I’m being possessive over food and that I’m not thinking about her when I take food.
I bought frozen breakfast burritos for a pre-work in a hurry meal, and she was eating them for lunch at home when there’s other stuff to eat. I had an issue with that because they’re for me on certain rushed mornings so I don’t have to stop and get fast food.
Of course she thinks that’s the most unattractive quality in a partner that I did that.
I think it’s hypocritical that she says “I didn’t ask you to cook that food for me, I shouldn’t have to pay for the groceries. Its not fair for me to spend money to fund your passion” while simultaneously believing “that’s so selfish of you to not leave me leftovers when you cook.
” She told me “I would never ask you to pay for half of my gym membership, because that’s my hobby, not yours”
It’s not like I’m leaving her with no food. There’s all kinds of stuff to eat around the place, ramen and all.
Also, most of the time she actually had access to the leftovers. I just tend to take them with me to work nowadays before she comes home to eat the next day.
She just would rather eat the good food that I cooked. I don’t make that much money.
Probably about 2/3 of what she makes. I’m relatively frugal and don’t like to eat out much, so expensive meals are my version of that at times.
I always feed her, but am I actually selfish for this mentality?