Inbred Incognito: One Teen’s Rant on Questionable Gene Pool Decisions
Gather around, dear readers, for I have a tale to tell. A tale born from the depths of Reddit’s treasure trove of stories. Yes, my lovely internet adventurers, this is a story of genetic misadventure, presented by none other than your favorite sassy commentator, Roger. Today, we dive into the ~thrilling~ tragicomedy of one young soul’s heartfelt plea against insular love affairs and their less-than-romantic genetic consequences.
From Reddit Rants to Real Regrets
Our story begins with a passionate plea posted by a teenager we’ll affectionately refer to as Inbred Child. Now, I know what you’re thinking: ‘Roger, is this another dystopian fiction piece?’ Oh, darlings, I wish. Our protagonist starts with a cry for help, practically begging everyone to avoid marrying relatives, especially first cousins. It’s the beginning of an eye-opening journey swirling around one crucial plea: Please, for the love of all things gene pool, do not reproduce with your kin.
Once Upon a Gene Pool
Inbred Child starts by thanking their parents – not for gift cards or emotional support, but for a rather tragic legacy: being born with various health problems all thanks to mom and dad being first cousins. Oh, yes. We’re diving headfirst into this murky genetic mess.
The Gallery of Genetic Glitches
So, what’s on the genetic horror buffet today? Let’s take a peek:
So, what do we have here? A genetic grab bag that could make a million-dollar plastic surgeon run for the hills. But wait, there’s more – genes from mom’s side are ‘dominant’ thanks to the joyous union of familial first cousins. It’s like mom and dad decided to play Russian roulette with double-barreled genetics, and this poor kid pulled the trigger.
Parental (Dis)Guidance
The icing on this genetic fruitcake? Whenever Inbred Child or their siblings get sick, dear old mom blames them instead of pondering over her and her husband’s admittedly questionable gene concoction. Oh, the sheer irony.
What kind of spectacular cognitive dissonance does it take to watch your kids suffer from a rogue’s gallery of genetic issues and still believe it had nothing to do with cozying up to your cousin at a family reunion? News flash, mom: The apple doesn’t fall far from the twisted, gnarled branches of the family tree.
Sassy Life Lessons with Roger
Let’s get real, folks. This Reddit rant is a case study in Why-DNA-Matters 101. If you’re feeling eyes for your first cousin, shake it off Taylor Swift-style and think long and hard about the implications of your romantic vis-à-vis genetic horror show. Just because your family tree has a tight-knit branch structure doesn’t mean you should help it tie the noose.
Think of it from the kid’s perspective: myriad medical visits, ribbing from peers, and an identity weighed down by the knowledge that their genetic woes were entirely preventable – it’s a dark comedy of errors, and no one’s laughing.
Roger’s Verdict: Cut the Cousin Lovin’
Alright, darling readers, what’s the takeaway from Roger’s Grand Saga? Love may be blind, but genetics are watching, waiting, and ready to hit you with a surprise party of mutations if you’re not careful. Save yourself, save your future offspring, save the world from the tragicomedy of poorly-planned progeny.
Inbred Child’s angst-ridden tirade is a clarion call: Don’t gamble with the gene pool. Your sense of romance might be temporarily fulfilled, but nature’s brutal final exam will test the resilience of your descendants. If you’re feeling those forbidden familial flames? Put them out, pronto. And always, always, think twice before you dive deep into the family gene soup. Or, face the fierce wit of Roger as the internet’s geneticist-wannabe gleefully drags your decision on a public (and very sassy) stage.
Until next Reddit-rant-turned-life-lesson, dear readers – keep your gene pool diversified and your love life legally sound. Roger out.
Original story
I’m just going to rant about some stuff.
Please I’m begging you, if you like or crush or are going to marry a relative/ cousin please don’t and don’t think about having a child with them.
I’ll start by saying a thanks to my wonderful parents who are first cousins thanks for bringing a disabled child in this world, I really appreciate it.
So what’s wrong with me. 1- I have lazy eye or Amblyopia which I can’t get fixed
2- I have a Receding Lower Jaw and I need surgery for it. I also look like a mouth breather
3- I have 2 giant ears which are longer than both my nose and eyes
4- I have trouble reading well I literally had teachers helping me for tests.
5- I had an over jet and my teeth were so crooked and I had to get braces and so many extractions.
6- my nose isn’t straight and it’s a bump nose
I got all my bad genes from my mom and I really hate that (nose, skin, Face structure,Ears,..
..
) And since my parents are FIRST COUSINS it makes My MOMS genes stronger.
There is so much more. And when me and my siblings get sich or have problems my mom blames it on us her kids and doesn’t once think that maybe her kids turned out like this because of her and her husband stupid genes.
Like think of your kids, think of their troubles and all the things that will happen to them and effect them in the future.
I wouldn’t allow anyone to marry relatives or cousins, and take word from me as a teen from parents who are literally first cousins.
Thanks for listening to my rant, I hope you all have a great day