Greetings, hot take aficionados! It’s Roger, sliding into your lives with the sass and wisdom you never thought you needed. Today, we’re diving deep into the turbulent waters of marital finances and familial generosity. Yes, you heard right, we’ve got a spicy tale fresh off the Reddit stove, served hot and ready for our collective dissection. This is a real story from a real person, proving once again that truth is stranger—and juicier—than fiction. Buckle up, my dears, for a rollercoaster of emotions and potentially unsolicited advice. Let’s get into it.
Imagine, if you will, a couple cruising through life, love, and finances with the harmony of a well-choreographed ballet. That is, until the harsh reality of financial inequality pirouettes onto the stage, turning their duet into a solo performance of frustration. Our protagonist, let’s call her ‘Saverella’, finds herself in a predicament when her Prince Not-So-Charming decides that his parents’ happiness is worth the weight of their shared gold—gold that Saverella has been diligently accumulating.
Now, Saverella is no stranger to the give-and-take of marriage. She understands that ‘for richer, for poorer’ doesn’t mean ‘for his parents, for worse’. But alas, her husband, whom we’ll lovingly refer to as ‘Spendy McBankdrain’, seems to have missed the memo. Spendy, following a fateful car accident, becomes unable to work, thus propelling Saverella into the role of sole breadwinner (no pressure, darling).
Years of saving, scrimping, and near-financial ruin climax when Spendy receives back pay and—hold onto your hats—decides to play Santa to his family. Not a word to Saverella, not a penny towards their debt. Nada. Zip. Zilch.
But, dear readers, the plot thickens! Upon discovery of another monetary exodus from their savings—courtesy of Spendy’s philanthropic escapades to the Bank of Mom and Dad—Saverella reaches her boiling point.
Cue the dramatic confrontation and the monumental decision: Saverella decides to liberate her finances from the chains of Spendy’s generosity. A bold move, indeed. She opens a new account, safe from the reach of Spendy’s charitable hands, sparking a debate as old as time: Is she the villain in this drama of dollars and sense?
Now, my hot-takers, here’s where I lay it down, Roger’s Hot Take™ coming at you: In the grand theater of marriage, communication and mutual respect are the pillars that keep the roof from caving in. When those pillars are chipped away by secrecy and unilateral decisions, the structure is bound to crumble. Saverella, in her quest for financial security, isn’t the antagonist of this tale; she’s a heroine fighting for the survival of her family’s future. And Spendy? Well, let’s just say he’s a classic case of good intentions paving a road to a personal hell.
To quote the legendary RuPaul, ‘If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?’ Well, if you can’t manage your money, how in the hell you gonna manage a marriage? It’s not about the dollars, dear readers, but about the sense—or the lack thereof.
Saverella isn’t an asshole for protecting her assets; she’s a warrior in the battle of financial fidelity. And Spendy McBankdrain? Bless his heart, he needs a crash course in Economics 101: You can’t give what you don’t have, especially when it’s not solely yours to give.
So, let the financial independence flags fly high, my friends. Because at the end of the day, love might make the world go ’round, but it sure as hell doesn’t pay the bills. Until next time, keep your heart full and your bank account fuller. Roger, out.
Original story
Me and my husband have been together for over nine years and separating our finances never occurred to me until this past year.
I’m the saver and he’s the spender. In the beginning it didn’t bother me because we had two incomes and wasn’t rich but lived comfortably.
His family has always “borrowed” money from us but rarely ever pay that money back. I personally don’t lend money not even to family but I do not stop him from lending to his.
A few years ago my husband was in a bad car wreck and can no longer work so I became the sole breadwinner. He now gets disability but that was a four year process. In that time we dwindled our savings to nothing and came close to losing everything. Our debt mounted and there was nothing I could do.
When he received his back pay I only asked him to pay off his vehicle a loan in which I’ve paid over 50 grand on in the last few years and put some in savings.
He did neither. Instead he blew the money. Loaning over 10 grand to his family and paying nothing towards the debt we created.
During this time I was able to save some money from my paycheck but not much and had plans to pay some debts off once I have enough saved. He knew I was saving to do this.
About a month ago I noticed over 700 missing out our savings and I asked him what happened!?! He replied with I loaned it to my parents. I asked when he was going to receive it back because that money was already spent and I needed it. He said I don’t know when they can afford to.
I blew up an lost my shit. He didn’t ask me, we didn’t speak about it. He did it behind my back because he knew it would piss me off and I would say no if he asked. We had a huge fight. I figured after that fight he would stop. But no…
Yesterday I checked my account and another thousand dollars was gone. Gone where u ask? He gave it his parents. I’m so mad I see red.
I flat out told him that as of today I’m done with his parents. I’ll pay half the household bills buy our food and that’s it. If he wants to lend all his disability to them fine but I’m not gonna go bust my ass 60 hours a week so he can keep giving our money away.
So AITA for going to the bank and withdrawing all the money I put there and opening a new account he don’t have access to? He seems to think I am and says that I should want to make his parents happy. I would like to see them happy I just don’t want to pay for that happiness.