Family Photos and Fiascos: When Tardiness Turns Snappish
Hello, delightful readers! Gather ’round as I, Roger, recount a family drama so juicy it makes Thanksgiving with your narcissistic aunt look like child’s play. As they say, if it didn’t happen on Reddit, did it even happen? Today’s piece is based on a real Reddit post—brought to you by the ‘AITA’ subreddit. And trust me, this one’s got the kind of drama that Netflix wishes it could script. Let’s dive in!
The Unholy Affair of the Giant Family Photo
Picture this: Every couple of years, the family decides to gather around, pose, and pretend everyone likes each other for a massive family photo. This time, it’s 2018, a simpler time before we took “social distancing” as a life mantra. Our protagonist—let’s call him the Patriarch of Punctuality—organizes the entire shebang. A Herculean task involving 40 family members, several phone calls, and undoubtedly, a very large bottle of gin to cope with it all afterwards.
Everyone is told that small pictures will be done at 4 PM, the grand group photo at 5 PM, and then it’s chow time. Enter: the son and his DIL (Dear Inattentive Lass, for purposes of this story, obvs), who are running late. No sweat; it’s only the minor pics they miss. They make it in time for the 5 PM extravaganza, right? Oh, if only.
The Bathroom Debacle
Here’s where the plot thickens with an utter lack of time management. The family lines up, photographer snaps away, people are smiling with more teeth than a Crest commercial, and voila, big picture’s done, clock strikes 5:30 PM, and it’s dinner time. The chick who organized the whole shebang—oh, did I mention it’s our tortured soul yet?—asks twice, count it, twice if anyone’s missing before giving the final nod.
But wait for it. Just as the forks try to hijack their mission towards the lasagna, the DIL waddles in from the bathroom, shiny hair and all, and demands her moment of shutterbug glory.
Flash or Flack? The Verdict
“Let’s redo the whole 40-person ensemble,” says DIL. This is where our protagonist, with the subtlety of a well-worded Facebook rant, adamantly states, “Not a chance in Photoshop, darling!” In a spectacular display of role-playing King Solomon—cut the baby Photoshop style–he suggests having her digitally inserted into the pic. Queue the sound of familial jaws hitting the well-polished floor.
DIL was not amused. Soon, debate rages hotter than the oven-roasted turkey. Son demands another photo take, quickening his fall into the pit of lost causes.
Roger’s Razzmatazz on Responsibility
So here’s where I let you in on my not-so-humble opinion, because let’s face it, who could resist? Honey, if you’re told to be somewhere by 5, you don’t mosey in at 5:30 and expect fireworks in your honor. Especially when you’ve already had one helluva grace period.
It takes a village to herd a family of 40; someone should’ve had their half-up ponytail done before the countdown began, awright? Being on time to a planned event is like adhering to your “till death do us part” vows—it’s a commitment worth keeping.
And let’s not even get me started on the audacity of expecting everyone to line up again like well-trained chorus girls when the photographer’s already seen the backdoor. Ain’t nobody got time for that—nor should they. The Photoshop offer was about as graceful as one could hope in this pixel-perfect generation. Blend her in, make everyone happy, and move on to the mashed potatoes.
Final Thoughts: A Writer’s Reckoning
In an ensemble circus of this magnitude, friends, one must channel their inner ringmaster rather than the sulky clown. You miss the photo? You miss your chance. Family photos are a time capsule, not a redo-done-right system. ‘Tis the age of digital magic, but let’s not abuse it.
If you are the DIL or son in question, might I suggest a quaint Christmas gift this year—a clock. After all, punctuality might just save your next kodak moment from being photoshopped fiascos. Until next time, darlings, remember: show up, smile, and for heaven’s sake, check the time!
Original story
Every couple of years we get everyone together and do family a giant family photo. In total it is about 40 people.
Our last one was in 2018 and we decided to do this again. I organize the whole thing and everyone was told that small pictures will be done at 4 and the big picture was at five.
Afterwards we get dinner.
The issue is that my son and DIL were running late. Wasn’t a big deal since it was just small pictures.
They get here in time for the large picture. I asked everyone to be there on time.
I called twice asking if anyone is missing. Everyone is lined up and the photographer takes like 15 minutes of the big picture.
Everyone is hungry and hurrying to get food. My DIL soon comes out asking about the picture.
It is around 5:30 at this point. She told me that she was in the bathroom fixing her hair when the picture was being taken.
She asked me to round everyone up again to get a picture
I told her no, that she was late coming to the event and couldn’t care enough to actually be on time for the picture. I am not gathering everyone up again and paying the photographer an extra hour ( he was done and packing up at this point)
This caused a huge argument between her and me. My son is demanding I get her in the picture and I told him to pay someone to photoshop her in
AITA?