Dear Driver: A Sassy Story of Marital Driving Wars
Oh honey, buckle up for this wild ride because we are diving into the world of marital bliss – or as I like to call it, ‘Honey, you’re driving me mad!’ Based on a true Reddit post, we’re about to dissect a rather quirky dilemma that takes place on four wheels. Without further ado, let’s plunge into the tale.
The Prelude of the Petrol-Powered Predicament
Picture this: Our protagonist, let’s call him ‘John,’ has been steering the roads with the precision of a cruise missile for 15 years, never collecting a single traffic ticket or tasting the metallic tang of a fender bender. He’s basically the messiah of the highway. Meanwhile, his wife – let’s dub her ‘Jane’ – has the driving record of a demolition derby champ. She’s totaled two cars and collected traffic violations like they’re going out of style. Yikes!
The Nagging Navigator
Now, you’d think Jane would relish the idea of letting the more competent driver take the lead, right? Wrong. Once John gets behind the wheel, she’s transformed into a backseat-badger, fussing over his speed, traffic lights, and other drivers. It’s like having an over-caffeinated GPS with abandonment issues.
Fed up with her relentless nagging, John decides to stand his ground. For the last two months, he’s pulled a classic power move: refusing to drive unless Jane steps up and takes the wheel. And guess what? Jane hates it. Oh, mortality undoubtedly has a certain charm when she’s the one behind the wheel!
What Goes Around Comes Around
Jane’s grievances come pouring in – she detests driving post-wine or beer, she loathes playing chauffeur while John catches a nap en route home from family visits. Talk about a role reversal! It’s like watching the mighty oak tremble under the weight of its own acorns. Could she not see the irony in a fretful driver loathing their turn to control the helm?
The Ultimatum
John, being the magnanimous highway hero that he is, offers a generous compromise: he will resume driving, but if Jane releases even a peep of criticism, he’s back to passenger status. Seems fair—nay, it’s practically saintly under the circumstances.
Jane, however, throws her hands skyward in a fit of disbelief, declaring this offer unfair and accusing John of punishing her for her anxiety when she’s not the one in control. Talk about a twist – the plot thickens like a gourmet bisque!
The Gracious Verdict
Now, darlings, let’s restore order to this vehicular drama. John outlines their driving records, pointing out that Jane should statistically be quaking in her boots when she’s driving, not vice versa. But oh no, Jane is doubling down, asserting that John is acting like a petty tyrant. Is it a power play or genuine concern for them both?
Roger’s Sassy Opinion Corner
Oh sweet Jane & John, bless your embattled hearts. Here’s the spicy tea from your candid (and oh-so-clever) commentator, Roger. John, you’re a paragon of patience, and Jane, honey, you’re clinging to the wheel of a sinking ship of indignity.
Jane, darling, your qualms about driving are misdirected. Pro tips: If you have such a jittery disposition when not in control, take a breather. Meditate, knit a scarf, or embrace CBD gummies, but don’t derail the better navigator.
John, you’ve journeyed through this highway high jinks like a stellar sport, but standing your ground on this matter doesn’t make you a jerk – it makes you sensible!
So there you have it, folks. In this road-rage rendition of Relationship Roulette, John wins the Victor’s Cradle of Common Sense. And Jane, sweetcheeks, deep breaths and a hearty dose of trust might be your golden ticket to a smoother ride.
Original story
I have never had an accident or a traffic ticket in the 15 years I have had a license.
My wife has totaled two cars, been in several fender benders, and has com close to losing her license on demerits.
Despite this whenever we are driving somewhere and I’m behind the wheel she is constantly nagging me. About my speed, about other cars, about upcoming traffic lights, basically everything.
For the last two months I have refused to drive anywhere with her unless she is driving. I do not say anything about her driving.
I don’t warn her about stop signs, I don’t mention that she should brake when she is going to rear end someone, I just let her drive. She has a Volvo.
I will survive.
She has been complaining that she hates being in charge of driving when we go out. She doesn’t like to drive after having wine with dinner or a beer with friends.
Even an hour after the drink. She hates that I can nap on the way home from visiting family that lives a couple of hours away.
I told her I would go back to driving but that I would stop if I heard any criticism from her about it. She thinks that isn’t fair.
She says I’m punishing her for being fretful when she isn’t in control.
I pointed out our driving records and said that she should be more afraid when she is driving than when I am.
She thinks I’m behaving like an asshole. Am I?