Honey, grab your popcorn and strap in, because I have stumbled upon a story so juicy, so packed with drama, it could make a telenovela blush. This isn’t just any tale, darlings—this is a real-life Reddit saga about one woman, her new boobs, and the so-called ‘friends’ who just couldn’t handle the upgrade. Yes, you heard me right. We’re diving deep into a tale that’s as much about silicone as it is about toxic friendships and the courage to stand up for oneself—even if it means causing a scene at your local diner.
Our heroine, let’s call her Miss Empowerment, made the personal decision to get a breast augmentation in February, seeking a little boost in the self-esteem department. Little did she know, this choice would catapult her into the center of an unsolicited and relentless roast courtesy of her ‘friends.’ For months, these pals dished out a barrage of comments so tacky, they’d make a ’90s sitcom blush—nicknames like ‘Titty,’ ‘Miss Titty,’ and the grand dame of them all, ‘Miss Twiggy Fake Titties.’
Now, I’m all for a round of good-natured ribbing among friends, but there’s a fine line between playful teasing and outright humiliation. And darling, these so-called friends didn’t just cross that line—they conga-lined right over it.
Imagine, if you will, a scene at a restaurant. Our protagonist is out with her ‘gang’ when the moment of reckoning arrives. As the waitress distributes the entrees, one of these jester friends decides it’s the perfect time to identify Miss Empowerment by her surgical enhancements, loud enough for the entire establishment to hear. Can you feel the second-hand embarrassment? I’m cringing harder than watching a reality TV star try to start a singing career.
But here’s where the plot thickens, and our girl finally snaps—a moment so satisfying, I nearly spilled my chamomile tea on my lap from excitement. She unleashes a verbal whirlwind so fierce, it silences not only her friends but everyone within earshot. And just like that, the toxic titty commentary comes to an abrupt halt. The rest of the dinner might have been as awkward as Thanksgiving with your politically divided family, but a point was made.
Now, for Roger’s Hot Take: Standing up for yourself, especially in public and especially against friends, is like threading a needle while riding a unicycle—it’s ridiculously hard, but oh, darling, is it impressive. Our heroine taught those so-called friends a lesson in respect and boundaries, one that was long overdue.
The moral of this sizzling tale? Your self-worth is not up for public debate, and true friends are those who uplift you, not those who make you the butt—or boob—of the joke. It’s better to dine alone as the queen of your self-respect banquet than with jesters who can’t see past their own immaturity.
To Miss Empowerment, I say bravo! And to the ‘friends’? Honey, it’s time to reassess your comedic material—because body-shaming is so last century. Until next time, this is Roger, serving you the hottest of takes with a side of sass. Remember, in the grand restaurant of life, always make sure you’re sitting at the table, not on the menu.
XOXO,
Roger
Original story
I got a boob job in February because I had nothing and wanted to feel better about myself, but it seems very much like my friends don’t want me to live it down. They were calm and supportive for the first two months, but these past few weeks have been a full on barrage of lame jokes and titty pokes. Instead of calling me by my usual nickname that rhymes with titty, some of them would actually just call me Titty, Miss Titty, Princess Titty or the worst of all, Miss Twiggy Fake Titties. I tell them often to stop and it’s embarrassing but they still do it. Some friends have even had the audacity to keep poking my boobs even after telling them to stop. I know I’m being a pushover, but I don’t want to lose close friends over this. I’m hoping it blows over soon.
Me and 5 friends were having dinner at a restaurant tonight. When the food arrived and the waitress was dishing out the correct plates, she asked who had so and so entree and one friend said, I kid you not, “the girl with the fake titties”. I’m pretty sure the waitress knew it was me since I was wearing a cleavage baring dress, but she said “sorry, whose is it?” I shyly said “it’s mine”. When the waitress left, I snapped at that friend for embarrassing me like that and the other friends who participate in the name calling and titty poking. I told them “can you stop fucking obsessing over my boobs and trying to humiliate me at every moment …”. I definitely made a scene at the restaurant. I see the eyes of 20+ people staring at our table. But I felt I needed to be loud and harsh to finally put an end to this nonsense. The girls said alright and told me to chill. Dinner was a little awkward but there has been no mentioning of my boobs since the outburst.