Auntie, I Booed With My Nails for My Nephew: Am I the Awesome Uncle or the Villain Here?
Buckle up, dear readers, because today’s tale is hotter than a jalapeño latte and juicier than a celebrity gossip column!
In the story cribbed straight from the heart of Reddit, we have young protagonist 19-year-old Uncle Extraordinaire (aka our poster), his aforementioned spunky 4-year-old nephew Matteo, and a toxic tornado that is Matteo’s dad, the “no pink and glitter” police (27M BIL). Also making crucial appearances are Matteo’s mama (25F sister) and, yes, the boyfriend with the dazzling polish collection.
Let’s break this drama down with lipstick and glitter highlights, shall we?
Act 1: The Pink Elephant in the Room
Starting with Uncle Extraordinaire, our 19-year-old hero, who adores spending all his free hours with Matteo. Matteo is, refreshingly, a child who enjoys monster trucks and Power Rangers right alongside tea parties and nail painting. He’s the kid that believes in living life with ALL the crayons in the box, thank you very much. Now, enter stage left: Daddy-Dearest (BIL). This is where things get murky.
Daddy-Dearest about chokes on his machismo every time he sees a hint of glitter or a whiff of non-traditional-boy toys invading his son’s life. ‘Matteo likes pink?!’ he shrieks. ‘What kind of sorcery is this?’ His answer seems to be implying our uncle-humorously-challenged thinks our protagonist is somehow molding Matteo into a duplicate of himself.
Act 2: Paintgate—The Manicure that Launched a Thousand Screams
Picture this: Uncle Extraordinaire’s bf has a dazzling selection of nail polishes, a veritable rainbow in a stash. So, while hanging out with his similarly-minded friends, our impressionable and creative nephew Matteo gets down to some serious nail art business. He does a stellar job, mind you, but then comes the bang-on-the-door arrival of the ‘Guards of Testosterone Fortress.’
Daddy-Dearest arrives early, eyes the painted nails, proceeds to erupt like Mount Vesuvius. Screams echoes through the neighborhood like banshees having a particularly rough day. ‘You’re going to make him like you!’ he wails. Oh, honey, simmer down.
Our sass-wielding Uncle claps back with a fabulous declaration—despite being a sports-loving, truck-driving kid himself, he still turned out fabulously gay. In other words, the world got extra spice without an agenda, thank you very much. #facts
Act 3: Judgment and Introspection—Ain’t Nobody Got Time for That!
Flash forward, Matteo’s dad scoops him up and storms out of our fabulous hero’s life for now, but not without another twist. Enter: the sister. She calls later, already at her wit’s end like a soap opera queen on her third dramatic gasp.
‘You know how my husband feels about ‘that stuff,’ she exclaims. ‘Why did you let him paint your nails?’ As if the Holy Grail of parenting is pristine, unpolished nails.
The Climax: Get Ready for Roger with a Capital R
So, dear readers, here’s Roger’s drop-the-mic moment. This is where I come in with a punch of truth and sass so strong it’ll make your tilde keys quake.
First: No, Uncle Extraordinaire is NOT the villain of this piece. He’s the glittering beacon of inclusive awesomeness. 🏳️🌈 By indulging Matteo’s numerous interests, he’s crafting a confident, happy kid who knows he’s accepted regardless of his color palette or hobbies. Gender norms are so last millennium, sweetheart.
Second, the dad. Oh, sweet Daddy-Dearest, maybe it’s you who’s clinging too hard to those ancient ideals. Might be time to update the software, think iOS 16, not Windows 95. You’re essentially playing against your own team here.
Third, dear mama sis, maybe time to step out of the shadows and realize kids are resilient, adaptive fishies. They’ll thrive in whatever pond you let them swim in, just make sure it’s inclusive.
To sum up, parental units and various guardians of the galaxy—and most importantly, readers—allow your kids the freedom to splash in every color of light. Who knows? Maybe painting nails will lead Matteo to be the next brilliant color-theory scientist. Or maybe he’ll just have fun, and what on Earth could be better?
P.S., steal a nail paint night for yourself. You deserve it.Xoxo, Roger
Original story
My (19M) sister’s(25F) husband (27M) has never liked me much. They have a 4 yr old “Matteo” who spends alot of time with time with me because they both work and my BIL never seems to want to spend as much time with him.
Matteo is an odd duckling. He likes monster trucks and power rangers and all the “normal” boy stuff but he also likes pink and tea parties and painting his nails.
Since I’m the one who spends the most time with him and plays with him the most I just indulge him a bit. I buy him the stuff he wants and play with him.
My BIL gets upset at me for buying him “girl stuff ” and playing “girl games” with him.My sister gets mad and tells me I’m doing it just to piss off her husband.
We got into a big argument a few days ago because while with me at my bf’s apartment Matteo saw his collection of polish and asked if we could paint our nails. I told him sure and he actually did a pretty good job.
I’d intended to have washed it off before his dad came and got him but he got there early.My BIL was furious when he saw our nails and yelled at me that I was gonna make Matteo like me.
I snapped back that I grew up in the country playing football and wrestling and that I’m still gay. That I’m not remotely fem and I’m still gay.
That just because Matteo likes something doesnt even mean he is. He just snatches up Matteo and drives off.
My sister called later saying I knew how her husband feels about “that stuff” and I shouldn’t be indulging my nephew and let him paint our nails. AITA?