AITAH for Not Inviting My Dad’s Wife to My Wedding? (Spoiler: Nope, You’re Not)
Inspired by a real Reddit post from a real person, buckle up for drama, questionable motives, and some spot-on sass from yours truly, Roger.
The Plot Thickens
Ah, weddings! The epicenter of joy, love, and potential family drama served with a side of beef or chicken. Here we have our heroine, a 32-year-old trailblazer planning her small yet charming wedding along the scenic coast of wherever-they-live. She’s already juggling guest lists, Pinterest boards, and who knows how many tiers of buttercream-coated stress. What she didn’t account for? Her dad’s wife (let’s call her Jane for simplicity) throwing a wrench into her otherwise well-oiled matrimonial machine.
The Background Check
First, some background because we’re not animals diving into drama blindly. Our leading lady’s dad married Jane five years before he tragically passed away six years ago, making their union barely old enough to get a lemonade stand license. During those five years, our protagonist and Jane didn’t exactly become BFFs; more like “hey, I see you’ve also infiltrated my family.” You know, the sort of chilly, polite detachment that hallmark awkward Thanksgiving dinners.
Social Media’s Not-So-Silent Alarm
Fast forward to last August. Our daring duo gets engaged, and wedding planning commences. Heroine posts a snapshot of her find-the-dress victory on social media, and BOOM! Enter Jane, hot on the notification trail, inquiring about the when and the where. Now, our bride-to-be had clearly not planned for this subplot; Jane wasn’t even on her radar.
The Dreaded Question
Our protagonist graciously (albeit distractedly) informs Jane of the date and invites her—with one guest. Little did she expect Jane to raise the stakes: “So if all five of my children want to come, you’re saying they can’t?” Oh honey, anyone else feel that tonal shift? Entitlement much?
In a flawless mic-drop moment, our leading lady reminds Jane that she’s not running a holiday inn. It’s a small, 50-people affair, and inviting “all 20” (really, Jane? Exaggerate much?) of her kin is off the table. Jane’s response? The virtual equivalent of *crickets* and a screen door slamming shut on a sultry summer night.
More Spice, Less Sugar
The plot thickens as our heroine decides Jane can stay home and reflect on her bluff gone awry. Did this make her the asshole? Sit tight, because I’m about to break it down, Roger-style.
The Voice of Reason (also known as Roger)
Listen, wedding planning is a pressure cooker with a side of “please, nobody steal my thunder.” And while weddings are often pitched as family affairs, this doesn’t translate to a sideshow of +9 entourages. Not to mention, our bride’s relativity with Jane has always been one of respectful distance. A wedding is not a reunion for distant, lukewarm family ties.
Jane’s query wasn’t about joining in on the celebration; it was about overstepping boundaries with the grace of a drunk uncle at a barbecue. Small, intimate weddings are sacred because they concentrate love and closeness, not cramming everyone from your third cousin twice removed to Jane’s Pilates instructor under one chandelier.
Why Jane Needs to Sit Out
Now, let’s address the heart of the matter. Would Jane’s absence implode the event? Uh, no. Our protagonist has already maintained a civil, albeit distant, relationship for years. Tossing her into the mix with significant others would be like adding a shot of olive oil to a floral seltzer—it just doesn’t blend.
As for hormones and heightened emotional stakes? Dodging potential drama is the real win here. Jane staying away means the ceremony retains its intended warmth, without any cold gusts of confrontation. Taste and tact are still on the menu, even if Jane’s name is not on the guest list.
Final Verdict
In the grand game of wedding invitations, where the stakes are higher than grandma’s hide-and-seek pearl brooch, our bride stands victorious. She’s not the asshole; she’s the owner of her own list and boundaries. So, to Jane and any other could-be intruders, here’s a fitting farewell: Thanks, but no thanks. 🥂
Original story
My fiancé (38M) and I (32F) got engaged last August! We have decided to have a small wedding (50 close family and friends) on the coast of the state we live in this September.
I told my family who live mostly out of the state, as well as my dad’s family who live out of the county. I recently posted on social that I found my wedding dress.
My step mom messaged me shortly after asking when the wedding is going to be. I hadn’t told her about the wedding yet, it honestly slipped my mind when I was considering family to be invited to my wedding.
** Info: My dad died 6 years ago, he and his wife were married for the last 5 years before he died unexpectedly. ( I was 22 when they got married and did not have a close relationship with her).
Since he has passed away, I have attended 3/5 Christmas’ I was invited to, and the last time I saw her was a year ago and haven’t heard from her since. I told her when the wedding is, and that she can come with one guest.
She responded with, so if all 5 of my children want to come, you’re saying they can’t? To which I responded with.
. it’s a small wedding and I haven’t finalized my guest list, but all 20 of them will not be invited to my 50 guest total, wedding.
I also reminded her that it is my wedding, and I will invite whoever I want to my wedding. She didn’t respond to my message, so I have decided to not invite her.
. does that make me the asshole?