AITA for Telling My Mother She’s Not a ‘First-Time Mom’ Now That She Had a New Baby?
Ah, Reddit. The confessional of the internet where secrets are spilled, drama unfolds, and everyone gets to play judge, jury, and executioner. This story is about a young man who finds himself tangled in the webs of familial bonds and fancy baby accessories. So, buckle up, because we’re about to dive into a real, juicy tale straight from the heart of r/AmItheAsshole.
Our protagonist today is a 24-year-old man (let’s call him Dave) whose mother, at the ripe age of 40, just had a baby—a new half-brother for him. Dave and his mom have a good relationship, despite the bumps and bruises of their past. You see, dear readers, Dave’s mom had him when she was just a teenager. Cue the violins and somber background music, because life wasn’t exactly a Disney fairytale for our boy Dave. Instead of growing up with his mom, he was nurtured by his grandparents, who were scraping by below the poverty line. Talk about a plot twist.
But we all love a redemption arc, don’t we? Dave’s mom worked hard, went off to college, and eventually became financially comfortable. By the time Dave was 11 or 12, she was ready to welcome him into her life again. No sign of the bio dad, but who needs him when you’ve got a strong, resilient mom, right?
The Baby Extravaganza
Fast forward to present day. Dave’s mom is living the good life, married, and taking baby-stroller snobbery to whole new levels. She has all the latest and greatest baby gadgets. Fancy strollers, high-end diaper bags—you name it, she’s got it. And mind you, these aren’t just any baby items; we’re talking about a Lexus stroller and a Louis Vuitton diaper bag. The baby’s practically rolling in designer duds and Dave’s just trying not to roll his eyes.
So, Dave finally makes the trip to meet his newborn half-brother. Upon seeing these luxurious items, Dave couldn’t help but comment, “You really went overboard, huh?” That’s when mom drops a bombshell: she feels like a first-time mom because this time around, she’s got all the resources she lacked when Dave was born. Ouch.
Anger, Meet the Internet
Dave was hurt. No, scratch that—Dave was furious. How could she say something like that? He tells her she’s not a first-time mom just because she had a rough start the first time. She tries to explain, but before they could settle the argument, Dave’s stepfather arrives, and the confrontation ends abruptly.
Unable to shake off his feelings, Dave ignores his mom’s attempts to reach out. No text responses, no calls answered. And like any logical 24-year-old, he turns to Reddit to ask a million strangers if he’s in the wrong. Classic.
Roger’s Witty Wisdom
Now, my dear readers, let’s get into the thick of it. Was Dave being an over-emotional son or did mom cross a line? It’s time for some of Roger’s sassy, cynical wisdom.
Motherhood is a complicated, messy affair—like wearing white at a BBQ. But here’s the raw truth: people change, circumstances change, and—for better or worse—memories shape us. When Dave’s mom said she felt like a first-time mom, she wasn’t belittling Dave’s existence. She was, albeit clumsily, expressing a newfound ability to enjoy the motherhood experience she missed out on back in the day.
But here’s the kicker: she did this without considering Dave’s feelings. Whoosh, right over her head. Dave, my man, your feelings are totally valid. Don’t let anybody tell you otherwise. But also, holding onto that grudge won’t serve you any better than a Wi-Fi router with no internet connection.
So what’s the play here? Communication. Real, honest, let’s-sit-down-and-have-coffee-while-we-cry communication. Draft a heartfelt message or better yet, visit her in person. Tell her how her words affected you. Remember, this woman’s not the clueless teen mom she once was. She’s capable of understanding and, most importantly, apologizing.
And Mom? If you’re reading this—and let’s be real, you might be—note to self: words matter. If you’re feeling like a first-time mom, great! But don’t forget that someone’s ears are more sensitive than those high-tech baby monitors you probably have. Acknowledge the past, appreciate the present, and for goodness’ sake, keep your foot out of your mouth.
At the end of the day, family is about the third (or maybe fourth) chance. Cuddle that half-brother of yours, accept that fancy stroller for what it is, and grab a slice of humble pie. Because, darling, nobody likes a sourpuss in Louis Vuitton.
Original story
I (24M) have a good relationship with my mother (40F) even though, as you can tell from our age, she had me when she was very young and obviously lacked the maturity to raise me, so I lived my grandparents, who were then below poverty line, for most of my childhood while my mother moved away to get her college education.
I don’t blame her for her choices, I know she worked hard to improve herself and to get to a place where she would have the means to raise me right, but it wasn’t until I was 11 or 12 that she was stable enough to get me to live with her (bio dad was never in the picture).
Anyway, now, my mother is financially comfortable and happily married. She gave birth to her second son a couple of weeks ago.
I don’t live with her anymore (we’re not in the same city, it’s a 2-hour drive), so it wasn’t until yesterday that I managed to visit her and see my half-brother for the first time.
I noticed she was surrounded by a lot of fancy accessories, so I was like “What are those?”, and she was like “That’s the baby’s Lexus stroller and Louis Vuitton diaper bag of course”.
So I said something like “You really went overboard huh?”.
And then she said something that really hurt me. She said she now had the chance to experience motherhood for the first time, and that she was feeling like a first time mom because, when she had me, she was so young and unprepared and financially vulnerable.
So I told her she was not a first time mom, and I couldn’t understand why she’d say something like that to me. She tried to argue that she didn’t mean it like that, but I was still upset, I just didn’t push it because my stepfather arrived.
She texted me after I left, but I didn’t reply yet. I also didn’t pick up when she tried to call me.
AITA for holding on to this?