Gather ’round, ladies and gents, because I have got a tale for you that’ll make you want to grab the popcorn and settle in. This story is hot off the press from the wonderful abyss of Reddit, where a woman poured out her frustration about her husband and his family’s shenanigans. You guessed it—we’re diving deep into family dynamics, entitlement, and a little something called boundaries, or the lack thereof. Buckle up, buttercups, because this ride is going to be a bumpy one.
The Birthday Bash Blowout
Let’s set the scene: Our heroine is a hardworking healthcare professional who’s been busting her butt both at work and at home. She’s spent months planning a snazzy birthday party for her 5-year-old daughter. You know the type—balloons, cake, screaming children, and the whole shebang. She even managed to get some days off to ensure everything goes off without a hitch. A devoted mother giving it her all. Get it, supermom!
Enter her husband’s brother, who decides to roll into town six days before the party, not to celebrate his niece’s birthday, mind you, but purely by coincidence. Oh, bless his heart. To make things more delightful, he and his father decide to go golfing. And golfing, for the uninitiated, isn’t a quick nine-hole jaunt; we’re talking a seven-hour affair.
The Golfer’s Dilemma
As if that weren’t enough to make you roll your eyes so hard they might get stuck, her husband decides, mid-party, to drop a bombshell. Instead of golfing the day after, they want to leave at the crack of dawn the very next morning at 6:30 AM. Why? Because dear old mom can’t be bothered to get up early to watch the children. The hubby, evidently having a screw loose, tells her this change of plans right while she’s trying to juggle the chaos of a children’s birthday party. The audacity is palpable, folks.
The Post-Party Showdown
Our heroine, cooler than a cucumber in a bowl of hot sauce, tells her spouse that they’ll discuss it later. Once the guests have cleared out and the cake crumbs have settled, she points out that his family’s whims are steamrolling their own family’s plans. And honestly, can we blame her? Pretty please with a cherry on top.
Her husband’s defense? It wasn’t his decision; it was his brother and father’s choice. Ah, yes, the classic blame shift. Because heaven forbid a grown man make his own decisions. When she rightfully calls him out on this hogwash, he still insists he has no choice. (Cue the eye roll so intense it creates a breeze.)
The Aftermath
Lets fast forward to the day after the party. Our muti-tasking mom is exhausted and solo-parenting two kids. Why? Because hubby dearest has still gone golfing, despite the blatant inconsideration and sheer chutzpah his family displayed.
Here’s where she questions herself: Is she the asshole for being a bit, uh, not positive with the kids after being left in the lurch? Is she wrong for refusing to trudge over to her husband’s parents’ house post-golf game?
Joan’s Verdict
Honey, sit down and let Auntie Joan give you the skinny. In no uncertain terms, you are not the asshole. Let me underline that for you in bold, italics, and neon lights. When you’ve explicitly planned something out for months, and your husband disregards it in favor of an impromptu family golf day, that’s not just inconsiderate. It’s a breach of the partnership and respect a marriage should be built on.
Your husband, darling, needs a crash course in prioritizing his immediate family (yes, that means you and the kiddos) over arbitrary demands from his extended family. And the nerve of deciding this mid-party? Inconsiderate doesn’t even begin to cover it.
And let’s talk about you not making it to his parents’ house afterward. Is he serious? After bailing on his responsibilities, he’s got the temerity to expect you to play happy families over there? Well, color me gobsmacked. Your peace and the well-being of your children come first.
This kind of nonsense needs to be addressed, and boundaries need to be set like yesterday. You’ve got more than enough on your plate without catering to last-minute, selfish whims. Stand your ground, communicate your needs clearly, and don’t let anyone—family or not—make you feel less-than for demanding respect and consideration.
So, chin up, darling. You’re the unsinkable Molly Brown in this Titanic of a situation. Hold your ground and steer that ship where it needs to go.
Original story
We had a wonderful holiday weekend planned that included a large birthday party at our house for our 5 year old daughter. I work in healthcare, so I had to request off months ago to be off this whole weekend.
We planned the birthday party for months. The day finally came, after days of setting up.
6 days before the party, though, my husband’s brother announces he’s coming to town (not for his niece’s birthday, a coincidence). So, they are going golfing, which of course takes 7 hours, but my mother in law was going to watch them while I got the house back in order the day after that party.
My husband comes to me 30 minutes into the party and says, I am actually golfing tomorrow morning even earlier (leaving our house at 6:30am), and my mom doesn’t get up that early, so she can’t take the kids. I told my husband, no.
We can talk about it after the guests leave, but not going to work…we needed to rest and get our house back in order. That had been the plan for months.
Later we talked, and he said it wasn’t his decision to go earlier or that his mom couldn’t help. It wasn’t his decision, it was his family’s (brother and father).
I said you still have the option not to go, and that’s what I’m asking you to do, not tomorrow morning. He continues to say it’s not his decision.
I say it is. Ultimately I get to the point I’m saying his family is disrespectful our ours and of our time.
The worst part is that they told him of this change during our child’s party. Even worse, my husband seemed to agree the decision to change plans last minute seemed inconsiderate of them, but he still went.
My poor children had a crappy exhausted mom solo today. So he could golf.
AITA for not being a positive mom today? AITA for refusing to go to his parents house this afternoon after they got done golfing?