AITA for Telling My Girlfriend She Has to Walk the Dog If She Wants One?
Based on a real Reddit post from a real human being.
Gather around, my dear readers, because boy do I have a tale for you today. Picture this: You’re living the life, contemplating future shack-ups with your significant other, and then, bam, you’re hit with the classic “I want a dog” bombshell. Sounds like a sitcom plot, right? Wrong. This is real life, and it’s as messy and amusing as it gets.
Meet our protagonist, a 27-year-old dog-loving but cat-leaning human male. He’s in a two-year relationship with his 28-year-old girlfriend, who we’ll fondly call Ms. Doggo Enthusiast. They’ve been playing house talk, envisioning life under the same roof, which inevitably leads to some critical discussions. Enter stage right: the dog dilemma.
The Dog Declaration
Ms. Doggo Enthusiast drops the news: having a dog in their future abode is not just a want, it’s an unshakable pillar of her domestic dream. Cue our protagonist’s inner turmoil. He loves dogs, truly does, but he knows himself well enough to fear the daily dog-walking grind. Twice a day? Every day? Forever? It makes him want to curl up like a cat instead.
He’s not opposed to having a furry friend around; he’s just honest about his future self’s reluctance to put on pants and step outside every. single. day. Trust me, I get it. Some days, putting on pants is a victory worth celebrating on its own.
So what does he do? He lays down the law. He tells Ms. Doggo Enthusiast that while he’s okay with a dog, she cannot expect him to be Miller the Dog-walker. He’s cool with bath duty, toy-buying, and all that jazz, but the daily walks? That’s a hard pass. He wants her fully onboard this dog train, knowing she won’t have him as her walking backup.
Let’s Examine the Pooch in the Room
Ms. Doggo Enthusiast, accustomed to her family’s two-pet household, where she rarely walks the dogs (thanks, Mom and Dad!), thinks she’d step up if it was solely on her shoulders. But here’s the kicker: she accuses our protagonist of wanting all the “fun parts” of dog ownership while leaving the grunt work to her. And boy, does he feel the burn of that accusation.
Honestly, relationships are about compromise, and our leading man thinks he’s compromising by agreeing to have a dog at all. But Ms. Doggo Enthusiast’s hard stance on needing a dog (non-negotiable, thank you very much) feels less like compromise and more like a decree from on high.
My Witty Verdict
Okay, we’ve all had that ex who left us scarred over workload imbalance, right? No? Just me and this guy? Relax, it’s a universal experience, trust me. Our man’s understandable fear of being the sole dog-walker is not groundless paranoia, but learned wisdom. If she’s not chomping at the bit to walk dogs now, count me skeptical about her sudden canine walking enthusiasm once they shack up.
Relationships are about trust and compromise. He’s ready to compromise his feline fantasies for her dog dream, and she should acknowledge his needs and fears as well. Instead of slapping him with the “fun parts” label, how about some empathy and planning? Maybe a shared dog-walking schedule, perhaps?
So, my take? Not the asshole, mate. You’re just a man who knows staring at the ceiling in your pajamas sometimes beats an early morning dog-walk any day. Ms. Doggo Enthusiast needs to offer a little more flexibility and assurance rather than barking up the absolute tree. Woof.
In the wise words of Roger: “Barking dogs get the attention, but the content cats are the ones napping through the drama.”
Original story
Me (M27) and my 2 yrs girlfriend (F28) are not currently living together, but hope to in the future. Talking about living together and what not, she stated that to her having a dog at someplace in our future is fundamental.
I love dogs, but do see a big effort in taking care of one and always thought I would be more of a cat person in life – I’m not very keen on the idea of having to take a dog for a walk twice a day, in the long run I would consider it a burden, and I would want to make a sure a pet of mine can have a happy, healthy life, which would be harder if I get lazy and don’t take it for regular walks. Basically, it wouldn’t be fair to the pet.
I don’t mind having a dog in my home, I just don’t see myself having the patience to walk it all the time, there are days I don’t want to go out of the house and that would force me to.
So I told her that I acknowledge the importance of her desire to have one, and that I would be ok, but that she shouldn’t take for granted the fact that I will walk it as often as her. In the house I’ll be happy to give it baths, buy it toys, clean etc, but I want her to be sure that she could bear the effort of walking the dog by herself, and not only considering me as part of the equation.
This is also because she currently lives with her family, they have two dogs, but they are family dogs so when she moves out they would remain with her parents and sister. Since her parents are the only ones who constantly take the dogs out, and she also doesn’t feel like walking them most of the time, and knowing me I’m afraid I’ll be the one who has to do it when she doesn’t want to, just like her parents.
She says that she would do it if her parents didn’t and it was only up to her, but she also blames me for only wanting to take care of “the fun part” of having a dog. I do see her point, but I think a relationship is about compromises and I’m trying to compromise about having a dog – which I hadn’t pictured in my life – and dog related chores, while it feels like she is reasoning in absolutes (“I have to have a dog in our life”).
At the same time I feel guilty, I should trust her to be able to take care of it but previous experiences in my life led me to resenting my then partner for leaving all the workload on me and I don’t want that to happen again – which is why I think these conversations beforehand are important.
So, AITA?