Hello, my fabulous readers! It’s Joan here, back with another juicy story because honestly, what’s life without a bit of drama, am I right? Today’s tale comes straight from the realm of Reddit’s AITA (Am I The A**hole), a goldmine for all things scandalous and jaw-dropping. Let’s dive into this sizzling story of international intrigue and budget woes.
The Set-Up
Picture this: A young couple in love, early/mid-twenties, both standing at the starting line of their careers. We have your standard girl from humble beginnings who financed her way through college and therefore, has zilch in savings. Next, we have Mr. Privilege—let’s call him Chad—who not only had his college fully funded by the Bank of Mom and Dad but also managed to squirrel away a hefty amount of money.
Chad, ever the romantic, proposes an international escapade. Our girl, understandably, says she can’t afford such luxuries. Chad, being the knight in shining armor (we’ll see about that), insists he’ll cover everything. And so, the trip is booked with Chad footing the bill, and they set off for adventure, high spirits, and everything else you read about in romance novels. Oh, but those novels forget to mention budgetary bombshells, don’t they?
The First Night: Splurges and Surprises
It’s the first night, folks. Enter the expensive restaurant of Chad’s choosing. They each get an entrée, share an appetizer, and order drinks. A cocktail for our girl and a soda for Chad—because clearly, alcohol is for peasants. Later, a round of ice cream and another drink. All’s well in paradise, right?
But the next morning… Oh, honey, the drama hits like my morning latte (which, by the way, could rival the GDP of a small country). Chad looks at his phone, a cloud of gloom settling over his face. Suddenly, our dude is Mr. Frugality, claiming they are burning through the budget and our girl needs to “cool down on her spending.” Metroville’s crime rate just rose by one: Chad has committed the audacity.
The Clash of Titans
Now, let’s get one thing straight right here. This international escapade was Chad’s idea. All the spending? His suggestions! Now he wants our girl to pay for all “extras” like dessert, drinks, and appetizers. And when she points out the obvious—that she can’t afford bougie restaurant food and won’t be ordering any of those anymore—is she thanked? Appreciated? Oh no, darling, she’s accused of making him feel like an inadequate sugar daddy.
The Deconstruction
Let’s unpack this, shall we? I’m about to go full Sherlock Holmes on this budgetary mystery.
The Confrontation
The entire day was ruined due to tension—what a waste of international scenery! Chad felt attacked and our girl felt misjudged. Did she AITA it? Well, darling, everyone needs to show some gratitude, absolutely, but not at the expense of feeling guilty for someone else’s mismanagement and poor communication skills.
And let’s address the glaring pink elephant in the room: If Chad told her they’d cover everything, then suddenly flipped the script? I’m sorry, but he is firmly seated at the AH table.
The Editorial Verdict
So, what’s Joan’s takeaway from this delightful dumpster fire?
It’s simple, lovebirds. ALWAYS talk money before planning any trip, international or not. Understand the financial dynamics at play and never, ever, put someone in a position where they feel like they have to grovel because you failed to budget correctly. It’s not romantic; it’s rectifiable.
And to Chad, darling, rise above. You can reclaim your non-AH status by apologizing and having a grown-up conversation about finances with your lady. Budgeting isn’t a four-letter word; it’s just adulting.
Until next time, lovelies. Remember to spend wisely, love generously, and for heaven’s sake, communicate like you mean it!
Original story
My boyfriend and I (both in our early/mid-twenties) recently went on an international vacation together. Background context is that he comes from a wealthy family that fully supported him through college.
Because of this he has a large amount of money saved. This is not my situation, I worked through college to support myself and I have no savings at all.
We are now early in our careers, we make the same amount of money working full-time, and it’s not enough to save.
Several months ago my boyfriend suggested that we take an international vacation together. I told him I fully supported him going by himself or with other friends who can afford it, but I can’t afford it.
He ended up insisting that he would cover me. He booked the flights and most of the accommodation out of his own pocket and his parents covered the remainder of our hotel stays.
I didn’t contribute at all to this as we’d agreed. I felt a little uncomfortable with it but I’d never travelled abroad so I took the opportunity.
On our first night, we went to an expensive restaurant of his choosing and we each got an entree, shared an appetizer and we each had a drink (a cocktail for me and a soda for him because he doesn’t drink). We then went out for ice cream and another drink later that night (also his idea).
It was wonderful and we were both in good spirits the whole time.
The next morning, he became withdrawn and was looking at his phone. He told me that we were burning through the budget and I should “cool down on my spending” and should be paying for my own appetizers, drinks, desserts and other extras.
I let him know that I was sorry if he misunderstood things but I can’t afford restaurant food in a tourist town. I told him that if I am supposed to be paying for those things myself then I just won’t order them anymore, which is ok with me (I was just happy to be there).
Admittedly I was feeling a little defensive, and I pointed out that everything we ordered had been his suggestion and he never told me in the moment that it was too much. I said it felt like he was insinuating I was going crazy and burning through his money.
It became a big argument and he accused me of trying to make him feel shitty for not having enough money to make all my dreams come true, and for making it sound like he’s depriving me of fun extras during our vacation. I told him that that wasn’t my intention at all, but that we should’ve had a clearer conversation about budget before we took this trip (and I accepted responsibility for that too).
He feels strongly that I made him feel bad for not being able to give me the world, basically. The entire day ended up being tense.
AITA for responding that way? He thinks that I should’ve shown more gratitude and not gotten defensive.
In hindsight I agree that since he’s paying for everything I should’ve maybe just said ok rather than arguing.
Edit to respond to some frequent comments: -Some people interpreted my description as my bf saying that he wants me to pay for ALL of my own food. This isn’t the case, he was saying he wanted me to pay for “extras” like dessert, drinks, appetizers.
-I did not bring $0 to this vacation. I have enough to pay for some activities and extras for myself, but just not at the places he was choosing bc they are very expensive.
-My issue was not with him asking for more of a contribution from me but with him blaming me for going over-budget and that was the reason for the argument.