AITA for Sending My Youngest to Stay with My Parents?
Sometimes, life just loves to throw a tantrum, doesn’t it? Today’s juicy tale comes from a real Reddit post, and let me tell you, it’s loaded with more tea than an English tea party. So grab your popcorn and let’s untangle this mess.
A Heartbreaking Backstory
Last year, our protagonist’s wife tragically passed away from cancer, and as you might imagine, the family was left in shambles. The pain was raw; it was real, and dealing with such a profound loss can never be anything but arduous. Our hero—the Dad—finds himself navigating through a tsunami of grief, not just for himself but for his three kids.
He mentions his oldest two are managing, barely scraping through the emotional turmoil. But then there’s Carter. Ah, young Carter (15M)—the baby of the family and the apple of his late mother’s eye. Carter has been swirling in a vortex of despair, quitting sports, harming himself, and yes, even dabbling in booze and his mom’s old pain meds. And the drama doesn’t stop there. Oh no, hun. Carter has been sneaking boys in and out of the house, serving up a teenage rebellion cocktail no parent wants to drink.
Eyewitness to the Madness
Imagine this: You’re a working parent, already stretched thin, and you catch one of your senior players (because of course, Dad’s a football coach, because why not spice things up?) jumping out of your child’s window in the dead of night. If this were a sitcom, the laugh track would be rolling hard. But for our Dad, it was the last straw. Disgusted, frazzled, and desperate, he did what every worn-out parent thinks of in a crisis—he called in the reinforcements: Grandma and Grandpa.
So, he informs young Carter that he’s to spend the school year at his retired grandparents’ cozy (or boring, if you ask any teenager) abode. Cue the fireworks. Carter blew a fuse, accusing Dad of abandonment—an emotional grenade that left our protagonist reeling. And because teenage drama loves a good closing line, Carter cried out, saying he wished Dad was the one who had died. Ouch. That one hit deeper than Joanne’s spinach artichoke dip from last summer’s neighborhood BBQ.
The Dilemma of a Desperate Dad
Now, here comes the million-dollar question: Is Daddy Dearest TA for sending his struggling son to live with his grandparents? Or was this just a desperate cry for structure in a world gone mad?
Let’s break it down, Roger-style. This situation is tougher than a two-dollar steak. On one hand, the Dad was overwhelmed, out of resources, and simply put—out of his league. Carter’s spiraling behavior posed risks that could haunt him (and his Dad) for the rest of their days. Sometimes it takes a village, or in this case, a pair of retired grandparents, to save a sinking ship.
Carter’s Fuming Fury
On the other hand, Carter’s grief-fueled explosion is understandable. Losing a parent is soul-crushing, and reacting with anger and acting out is almost textbook behavior for any emotional rollercoaster teenager. From his perspective, packing him off to the grandparents may have felt like being shelved, and that is a one-way ticket to Teen Resentmentville.
But honestly, if Carter’s behavior continued unchecked, more serious consequences would be inevitable. Sending him to his grandparents, therefore, smacks more of tough love than abandonment.
Roger’s Witty Wisdom
Alright, lovely readers, here’s Roger’s take on this glorious mess:
Was Dad an angel? Hardly. Let’s face it; he’s fumbling about as gracefully as a drunken moose on rollerskates. But being an A-Hole? No friggin’ way. Carter needed a time-out spot, and who better to provide it than dear old Grandma and Grandpa, who likely make the world’s best casseroles and have an endless stash of old-timey wisdom.
In the chaos of loss, this Dad did what he had to do. Sometimes love means making the tough choices, the unpopular choices—the choices that keep your kids alive to hate you another day. Carter’s hurt is palpable, but in the words of every 90’s sitcom dad, “Someday you’ll thank me.” And maybe, just maybe, Carter will look back and see this act as one of wrestling him back from the brink.
So, dad, you’re nary an A-Hole in my book. In a world full of crappy decisions, you held your ground and played the cards you had, and there ain’t much more anyone can ask.
Careful Roger fans, always solve your dramas with a chin-up, a glass of wine, and a heckuva lotta sass.
– Roger
Original story
My wife died last year from cancer and I can’t say I’m handling it well ..
My oldest two are doing ok ish even though they’re having their own problems but my youngest Carter (15M) is taking it particularly bad. He and his mom were really close him being the baby and all.
Over the last few months he quit football and wrestling,. He’s been making himself sick on purpose.
..
Drinking and taking his mom’s old pain meds. He’s Skipping class and now he’s sneaking boys in and out the house at all times of the night I work and I can’t keep an eye on him all the time.
Last week I caught one of my senior players jumping out his window and I just got fed up. I arranged it with my parents and I told him he was gonna stay with his Grandparents who are both retired over this school year .
.He was pissed and accused me of abandonung him.
I told him it was for his own good. He just started crying and saying he wished I was the one that died .
..
AITA?