AITA for Sending My Youngest to Stay with My Parents?
Now, dearies, gather ’round because Uncle Roger’s about to serve some piping hot tea that brewed over on Reddit. Picture this: a dad in the trenches of life’s cruelest battle, trying to navigate grief, teen rebellion, and the age-old question—am I the asshole? Buckle up, my lovelies, this one’s based on a true post by a bona fide human being. Cue dramatic violin music.
Our protagonist has recently lost his wife to cancer—an experience that can only be summed up as a peek into hell itself. He’s left to juggle not one, but three teens, each with their own baggage. However, Carter, the baby of the family at just 15, is taking this tragedy as hard as a toddler who just dropped their ice cream cone. Poor Carter isn’t just grieving; he is rebelling in technicolor: ditching sports, skipping classes, and even orchestrating a late-night jamboree with boys sneaking in and out like it’s a frat house. Yes, honey, Carter is going through the absolute most.
Act One: The Tumultuous Teens
Now, in the middle of all this teenage chaos, our dear dad found himself witnessing one of his senior players doing the Spider-Man routine—climbing out Carter’s window. That, my fabulous readers, was the last straw. He promptly went into ‘Papa Bear mode’ and made arrangements to send Carter to stay with his grandparents for the school year. Cue Carter’s Oscar-worthy meltdown: tears rolled, accusations flew, and he even dropped the nuclear bomb of teenage angst, “I wish you were the one who died.”
Intermission: A Downpour of Feels
Here’s where it gets juicy, darlings. Carter thinks Dad is abandoning him, which is every teen’s go-to guilt trip line. Dad, on the other hand, believes he’s acting in his son’s best interest. He knows he can’t keep a hawk-like eye on Carter 24/7 due to his own work commitments, and the grandparents—being retired—can offer the supervision and stable environment Carter so desperately needs.
But alas, Redditors, Captain Obvious has stepped into the building: emotions are raw, nerves are frayed, and neither Carter nor Dad are coping particularly well. The Grandparent Plan seems to be Dad’s lifeline thrown into Carter’s stormy sea, hoping against hope to anchor his sinking ship. But did he abandon his son?
Act Two: The Honourary Reddit Jury Render Their Verdict
Jumping into the Reddit rabbit hole, the comments section is predictably peppered with a mix of NTA (Not The Asshole) and YTA (You’re The Asshole) judgments. Team NTA argues that Dad’s doing what he can with the cards he’s been dealt. His concern for Carter’s safety and well-being is paramount, and frankly, there’s only so much a single parent can manage without turning into a stressed-out puddle of goo.
Team YTA, meanwhile, feels that whisking Carter away to his grandparents might indeed feel like abandonment to a grieving teen. They suggest professional counseling, heart-to-heart talks, and maybe even a family therapy session or fifteen.
Roger’s Righteous Judgment
So who exactly is the asshole here? Spoiler alert: it’s a bit more layered than a Shrek metaphor about onions. You see, Dad’s intentions are golden. He’s not abandoning his son like a lost suitcase on a carousel; he’s trying to keep him from self-destructing. And Carter? Oh sweet Carter, your pain is palpable, but sneaking boys into a high-drama house post-midnight? That’s more than just ‘acting out’; it’s a cry for help in neon lights.
Here’s what Roger would do, with my plush velvet of sass stitched right into: First, sit that young man down and have an honest, raw, tear-stained chat. Lay those fears and hopes out like tarot cards on the table. Next, enroll both of you in therapy—family, individual, art therapy—throw the whole psychological toolkit at this mess. And finally, involve the grandparents in a supportive role, not as Carter’s full-time guardians but as part of a nurturing network of love and patience.
So, dear Dad, NTA but with a twist. You tried to solve a Rubik’s cube by giving one side away, but it’s a multifaceted puzzle, and Carter’s pieces need to fit in the bigger picture—not just neatly parked at Grandma’s.
And remember, folks, when life gives you drama and teens, sprinkle in some empathy, a dash of tough love, and bake at 350 degrees of unwavering support. Because honey, we are all in this beautiful, chaotic journey together.
Original story
My wife died last year from cancer and I can’t say I’m handling it well ..
My oldest two are doing ok ish even though they’re having their own problems but my youngest Carter (15M) is taking it particularly bad. He and his mom were really close him being the baby and all.
Over the last few months he quit football and wrestling,. He’s been making himself sick on purpose.
..
Drinking and taking his mom’s old pain meds. He’s Skipping class and now he’s sneaking boys in and out the house at all times of the night I work and I can’t keep an eye on him all the time.
Last week I caught one of my senior players jumping out his window and I just got fed up. I arranged it with my parents and I told him he was gonna stay with his Grandparents who are both retired over this school year .
.He was pissed and accused me of abandonung him.
I told him it was for his own good. He just started crying and saying he wished I was the one that died .
..
AITA?