AITA for Refusing to Play Referee Between Teenage Besties and a High-Strung Mom?
If you’ve ever dabbled in the divine chaos that is Reddit, you know it can be a breeding ground for tales that make you clutch your invisible pearls. Today, dear readers, we’ve hit the jackpot with a story that’s a mix of bad parenting, unrealistic expectations, and the sheer terror of blended family dynamics. Buckle up, because we’re diving headfirst into a saga sparked by a Reddit post that practically screams, “Am I the Asshole?”
The Cast of Characters
Meet our heroine: a sensible mom whose teenage daughter Arya (13f) has a bestie named Lilah (13f). Arya and Lilah have been inseparable since preschool, which is practically a lifetime in teenager years. However, enter stage left: Lilah’s mom, who we’ll call Drama Queen Dolores. Dolores shows up at our heroine’s house with the emotional stability of a shaken soda can.
Blended Family Brouhaha
Lilah, bless her teenage heart, has a familial setup straight out of a soap opera: a blended family with stepsiblings and half-siblings galore. Lilah isn’t too fond of this genetic grab bag and prefers to keep her step and half-siblings firmly in the “not full siblings” category. Spoiler: this does not sit well with Dolores.
The Accusation: Arya, the Mastermind
So, Dolores stormed into our protagonist’s abode, accusing Arya of being the evil genius behind Lilah’s refusal to embrace her step and half-siblings as “real” siblings. Here, I must interject with a rhetorical question: How exactly does a 13-year-old mastermind such a sophisticated emotional rebellion? Dolores seems to think Arya is wielding some kind of Jedi mind control over Lilah.
The Expectation: Home Surveillance Needed
Dolores didn’t just stop at a verbal thrashing; she laid down some serious expectations. She wanted our heroine to monitor the girls 24/7 to ensure Lilah changed her half-and-step-sibling rhetoric. Yes, because normal parents have nothing better to do than turn into Big Brother. Dolores even claimed Arya’s mom wasn’t doing enough for Lilah—despite Lilah spending more time at Arya’s house than her own.
Our Heroine’s Response
Ever the rational adult, our protagonist tried to reason with Dolores. She pointed out that Lilah—shock horror—has her own thoughts and feelings, which she expresses regardless of Arya’s influence. She also shot down Dolores’ absurd eavesdropping and correcting mandate, stating that no, she’s not about to turn into a teenage babysitter/therapist hybrid just to appease Dolores’s outlandish demands.
The Aftermath: Dolores Goes Nuclear
Dolores, predictably, was not pleased. She doubled down, calling our heroine all sorts of colorful names not suitable for print or a teenager’s delicate ears. According to Dolores, the protagonist was a ‘bitch’ and a ‘shitty person’ for not playing the role of enforcer in her ridiculous domestic drama.
Roger’s Sassy Verdict
Now, let’s get one thing crystal clear: our heroine is absolutely not the asshole here. Dolores, on the other hand, needs to take her melodrama down several notches. Expecting another parent to police her child’s language and emotional perspective is not just unfair, it’s utterly ludicrous. Dolores needs to have several seats and maybe a long chat with a good therapist.
If I were our heroine, I’d keep a bottle of wine on hand for every time Dolores darkens the doorstep with another hair-brained complaint. Parenting is already tough enough without moonlighting as the babysitter for someone else’s emotional baggage.
Final thought: Kids have their own minds, their own feelings, and their own damn way of looking at the world. Maybe Dolores should spend a little less time trying to enforce a Stepford Family fantasy and a little more time trying to understand her daughter’s actual feelings.
Original story
My daughter Arya (13f) has been best friends with Lilah (13f) since they went to the same preschool together. They’re always spending time together and have a bigger group of friends but know each other the longest and are the closest with each other.
Lilah’s family situation is a little difficult. And her mom went a little crazy on me last week which led to a conflict.
To sum up the current problem. Lilah has a blended family.
It’s her mom, her stepdad, some stepsiblings and some half siblings. Lilah has expressed that she doesn’t feel close to them, she always emphasizes that she has no real siblings and that even her half siblings are just half siblings and they’re not her dad’s kids too.
I have heard her tell Arya how much it bugs her when people say her step and half siblings are just siblings. But they don’t talk about it too often.
Lilah’s mother showed up at my house last week and blamed Arya for Lilah’s use of the step and half terms. She said she heard the girls talk about it and them say step and half siblings aren’t real siblings.
She said she knows that must have come from Arya because she has been fighting Lilah for years to stop saying step and half. I asked her how that even made sense.
She told me Arya must be the source and I told her Lilah says that whether Arya is around or not and she’s wrong to blame Arya for how Lilah feels.
Lilah’s mother then told me I should be watching over the girls whenever they’re in my home or my presence and correcting Lilah whenever she uses step, half, or says they’re not her real family. I told Lilah’s mother she couldn’t seriously expect me to listen to them 24/7 so I can correct Lilah and it’s too much for her to expect me to do when her kid is over to play with mine.
She was not happy with me at all. She told me I can’t say Arya isn’t to blame and in the same breath refuse to correct Lilah when she says something wrong.
She told me I just want to let them away with saying stuff and I don’t do enough for Lilah, even though Lilah spends more time at my house than she does her own. In the same breath Lilah’s mother said her husband is so sick of Lilah refusing to cooperate there and she needs to be here more so I can correct her.
I told her she really is expecting too much. She told me I was a bitch and a shitty person.
AITA?