AITA for Preferring My Wife’s Family? Spoiler: Let’s Talk Drama!
Oh darling readers, gather round as we delve into a deliciously juicy conundrum that Reddit’s AITA corner has served us on a silver platter. Hold onto your teacups—Roger is about to spill.
Picture it: A 33-year-old man who’s been tangoing with his 30-year-old wife for 11 solid years and chrip-chirping around a 3-year-old son. Life should be a scintillating adventure, but alas, family drama ensues. But wait—it gets better. This tale is spun fresh off of a Reddit post, so don’t blame me for the spice; I’m merely the curator.
The Fam Jam
Our protagonist describes his own family as ‘traditional’. I.e., the kind of traditional that features spankings, overindulgence in beverages that make family events just a bit too exciting, and the tantalizing thrill of intergenerational trauma. His sister? Forced into a nanny role, bursting with resentment. His brother? Cheers to being an alcoholic. Mom? She’s queen of the overstepping brigade. Dad? The king of where problems go to ferment.
Fast forward to his wife’s family: a utopia of functional relationships. They do things like talk kindly, support each other, and exist without reality-TV-level confrontations. What kind of sorcery is this? Imagine discovering that family dinners can be pleasant and not an Olympic event of verbal javelin. Mind-blowing, right?
The Defining Moment
Let’s get to the crux of our hero’s realizations: When their young son took ill (truly scary stuff), Wife’s fam was hands-on, helpful, and warm without stepping over the invisible line of good boundary etiquette. Our hero’s family? Theatric to an award-winning degree. Mom? Behaved like it was her soap opera arc, constantly calling for updates, shedding tears worthy of a daytime Emmy, and demanding emotional services instead of offering them. Dad? Well, his liver was busy that week.
Cut to our protagonist experiencing an epiphany the magnitude of which makes you want to cue triumphant background music. He’s not trying to ‘balance’ family time anymore. You get what you give, baby, and Mom and Dad dearest? Not cutting it. Now, the fun part: He’s focused on creating an atmosphere of love and sanity for his kid. Wise choice.
The Birthday Bonanza
Now here’s the plot twist: The protagonist’s birthday rolls around and a trip is on the menu. His magnificent MIL (mother-in-law for the uninitiated) is set to fly along and babysit, because what’s a good vacay without someone you can trust to keep the toddler out of the mini-bar?
His mom, naturally prying and inquiring, flips out with a flamboyant display of disownment when she hears this. How dare she not receive the golden ticket to travel and enjoy his spectacular company? The audacity! Our hero didn’t invite her because, let’s face it, she’s not up for it physically or emotionally. Picture bringing a storm cloud on a beach day—chilling, isn’t it?
The Sassy Verdict
AITA? Let’s break it down, folks. Roger’s hot take serving: Hell no, you’re not the asshole, dear protagonist. Here’s why:
You gave more than you owed. Boundaries are healthy, and bending over backward to pull off the balancing act won’t win you any peace points. So, dear readers, take note from our Reddit warrior—any family drama should be served with a side of logic, responsibility, and a heaping spoonful of what’s best for your sanity.
Would I have handled it differently? Maybe with an extra side of sass, but let’s toast to our hero for bravely cutting through the fuzz and doing what’s right by his immediately cherished ones. Bravo, good sir. Bravo.
Original story
Me M33 and wife 30 have been together for 11 years and have a 3yo son.
My family is what they themselves call ‘traditional’. That means I was spanked as a kid, dad drinks too much and mom is overbearing.
My oldest sister was parentified and is very resentful towards the whole family and my brother is an alcoholic. I cannot have an honest conversation with my parents without mom overstepping or dad berating me.
My mom hates my wife and my sister’s husband just for existing. You get the picture.
They’re not bad people or anything and I do love them but we’re not the happy family my mom pretends to be on facebook.
My wife’s family, on the other hand, is just..
. nice?
She’s best friends with her siblings and they’re all very close. Over the years, I’ve become good friends with her sisters’ husbands too.
When we first started dating I was like wow, your parents are really good at controlling themselves and not quarrelling in front of us during dinner. She was like ‘?
??
‘ It took me some time to really fathom that this is just how they are and that family relationships like this are possible. Anyways, from the very start they treated me like a member of the family and I feel very comfortable and enjoy spending time with them.
I used to feel guilty for spending more time with my wife’s family than mine. It changed when our kid got seriously sick and nearly died.
My wife’s family stepped up and did all in their power to help us without overstepping. Meanwhile, my mom acted like the main character, constantly calling my wife for updates and crying, expecting us to console her while my dad shut out and drank.
I understand everyone reacts to stress differently, but this situation really made me realise what example I want to set for my kid.
So I no longer try to ensure ‘equal time’ for my parents during holidays. We go to in laws because the atmosphere there is good.
I make sure to call my parents and visit them but I no longer drag my wife and kid along as neither of them enjoys it and it’s not the right example for my son.
Now, my birthday is coming up and we have a trip planned. My MIL will be flying with us and babysitting.
I’m really grateful because I was not comfortable leaving our son behind but we also wouldn’t have been able to attend certain events there if not for MIL’s help.
My parents wanted to come visit on my birthday and I had to tell them all about the trip because mom kept asking.
This resulted in mom disowning me for taking MIL on a trip when it should be her I’m treating. However, she’s not going there to be treated she’s going there to help.
Also, my mom is morbidly obese among other things and I wouldn’t trust her with a toddler so I can’t take her instead. Honestly, I’d rather not go at all if my mom was going because nobody would be able to have a good time (I did not tell her that).
I feel bad about things being the way they are but I also feel it’s not entirely my fault. AITA for letting it happen?