Original story
My 8 year old son has dyspraxia, which is a neurological condition that affects coordination and movement, for anyone who has never heard of it before. He struggles not to drop or break things, doesn’t have good eye-hand coordination.
He has always appeared “clumsy” and while he does his very best to be careful and to take good care of things, he can’t always prevent accidents, breakages or spillages from happening. This is something my sister has expressed frustration about over the years.
He was the type of toddler (and now kid) who will be eating or drinking something and it falls to the floor or he knocks stuff over without meaning to because he’s reaching for something else. It’s not his fault, he does OT to help him and has done physio in the past to boost his strength.
But there is no “cure” he’s just getting help to go through life.
My son has broken many things because of his condition. If it belonged to someone else we have always replaced it or paid for the damages.
We also started making sure he used his own stuff/our stuff to prevent this from happening, especially toys my sister’s kids have.
But his condition means he can’t do everything other kids his age might be able to do. Now this is a huge problem for my sister.
Last weekend my son spent the day with my parents while my wife and I were attending an event. My sister went to my parents and asked for my son to help her and her kids pack up stuff for their move and my son said he couldn’t help and he was sorry.
My sister told him he’s a big boy now and should be helping but my son told her he doesn’t do that kind of stuff. My parents told my sister to leave.
She confronted me after this and asked me what I was teaching my kid when he won’t help out family. I told her we’re teaching him to work within his means and to not help out someone who will berate him for his condition which she will do.
She said we’re coddling and spoiling him, that he’s more than old enough to learn how to be more careful, to do better and to cause less accidents and make fewer mistakes and he needs to learn to help family. And we need to make him do “stuff” for family to be good parents.
I told her my son will never help her with “stuff” because she lacks the compassion and understanding that his efforts would require. Her response was that it was an asshole thing to say that he wouldn’t help specifically her and that she’s still his aunt and my sister and I’m supposed to be her brother.
I told her she’s supposed to be my sister and my son’s aunt but she edges on bullying him over this and it does not make her a suitable person for him to try helping out.
She asked me for an apology and for me to make this right. She told me I owe her that much at the very least.
AITA?