AITA for Cutting Off My Parents Over a Wedding Snub? You Bet Your Wedding Veil I Am!
Now, let’s kick this off with a little eyebrow-raising tale straight out of Reddit-ville, where folks air their grievances and bask in the glow of collective judgment. Picture this: you’re planning a micro wedding—yes, one of those elegant elopements only hip folks seem to pull off. You’ve sent out the invites, crossed your fingers, and hoped your oh-so-supportive parents would grace you with their presence. But, surprise, surprise, they go crickets silent, backpedal, and barely show an inkling of care. Sound familiar? Well, lean in and listen up, because this is exactly what happened to our protagonist—a 27-year-old fab woman, we’ll call her Elle, who got fed up with waiting for her parents’ approval.
So here’s the scoop: Elle, a soon-to-be-blushing bride, prepped her wedding plans to tie the knot with her beau, dubbed here as Dan (you know, for keeping up with those classic pseudonym rules). Elle and Dan decided to keep their wedding small and financially manageable due to their, let’s just say, limited-budget lifestyle. They dropped their wedding pin near Dan’s family—a full 10-hour hike for Elle’s folks. But, hey, love and support should know no mileage, right?
The Ice-Cold Shoulder
Six months before the big day, Elle handed her parents an invite, complete with all the spiffy deets. And what did she get? A chorus of “We wouldn’t miss it for the world!” echoing falsely from dear daddy-o. But, as the day loomed closer, the ‘rents turned flaky. One moment, they’re a solid No-show, the next, a hesitant “we’ll try.” Come on, can someone pass Elle a drama-free no-show RSVP?
Rewinding the Snub Chronicles
Elle started unraveling the tangled threads of her past, recalling that growing up was far from the idyllic family sitcom. Imagine playing high school sports with empty bleachers—or at least, the parental section barren of megaphones and embarrassing shirts. She was the academic rockstar, strutting a 3.8 GPA and collecting accolades like Pokémon, yet her parents were MIA. Elle’s life story reads like an endless quest for a bolt of parental approval, constantly met with a resounding thud against the wall of indifference. Her siblings? They got all the limelight, while Elle got… nothing.
Also, let’s sprinkle some extra salt on that wound: Baby showers, births, birthdays—you name it. Her parents were no-shows, but they promptly graced her siblings’ milestones. I mean, they couldn’t even drop by for a free slice of birthday cake.
Should She Just Cut the Cord?
Now, you could say Elle’s reached her breaking point, ready to snap that familial bond like a twig. She’s contemplating whether to boot her parents to the curb if they don’t rack up some travel miles and show up for once. Is she the jerk here—or just finally wising up?
Picture yourself in Elle’s shoes: You’ve done the good child act for years, thrived despite the emotional cold shoulder, only to face continual neglect. Do you keep sticking your neck out?
Roger’s Witty Verdict 🌟
Alright, darlings, here’s my two cents: Tell Elle to chuck those rose-tinted specs into the bin!
Pilgrimages for love are one thing; habitual neglect is a whole different beast. Elle’s parents have made their wavering clear time and time again. No sorcery’s going to zap them into loving, devoted parents overnight. There’s only so many times you can knock on someone’s door before you realize it’ll never budge. So, my sassy suggestion? Elle, tell those folks toodles! Life’s too short to grovel for attention.
Serve yourself a heaping portion of self-respect, trot down that aisle, and shower in the love from those who truly give a dang. 🍾
So what say you, dear readers? Time to pass judgment—does Elle keep bending over backward or toss out those who consistently drop the ball?
Original story
EDITED: Post states we’re eloping (I mixed up the wording, so apologies for that). It’s a micro wedding, which they’ve received a formal invitation to.
I’m gonna try to keep this short, but we’ll see how it goes. I (27F) am getting married to my boyfriend (30M) this year, we’ll call him Dan.
We’ve been together for four years and have a child together, with one more on the way. We aren’t in the best spot financially, so we opted to elope and keep things small.
We have a better relationship with Dan’s family than we do with mine so we opted to have the elopement closer to Dan’s family (roughly 10 hours from my home town). We told all of our family 6 months ago of our plans to elope, gave them all of the details, and told them they were welcome to attend, but not obligated as we know the distance/travel can be tough for some.
I was met with several “oh my goodness, we wouldn’t miss it for the world” remarks, most of which came from my father. Now, we’re less than a month away and one minute they’ve decided they won’t be coming, then the next they “don’t know if they’ll be there, but they’re trying to make it.
”
Over the last few days, I’ve been breaking things down with Dan’s help. My parents have five children in total, putting myself as the middle child.
I started thinking back to growing up and the last few years – simply because while I’m not mad they won’t be coming, I’m hurt. I played sports in high school, they never attended any of my games, but consistently went to all events for my younger & older siblings.
I graduated with a 3.8 GPA and was on National Honor Society, my parents never showed for any of the events we hosted.
I won several awards throughout my academic years and they never showed up for those either. The excuse was always “well, you didn’t need the extra encouragement.
” While I succeeded in school and excelled above my siblings, my parents were just never present for those small “wins”. My siblings would always do the sarcastic “oh you just have to be the best” thing, but I realize now that I did it to get my parents approval – their attention.
However, I never got it and if I did it was always negative. “Well, you can do better than that” or “you aren’t trying hard enough to do better in sports.
” My siblings still believe that I had an easier upbringing and while maybe that’s true from an outside perspective, I was never given what a child tends to crave. Their parents attention.
The lack of it started around the fourth grad.
Now, as an adult, I’ve noticed instances in my adult life as well. They refused to attend my baby shower (it’s not for religious reasons or because I got pregnant out of wedlock, they aren’t religious), my mother just made the excuse that my friends made my grandparents “uncomfortable.
” Surprise surprise, my grandparents still came. My mother refused to be in the delivery room for the birth of my child.
My parents haven’t even attended birthday parties for my child, despite being invited to all of them. I’m the first child of their’s to buy a house, purchase a car on their car, get married, etc.
And they’ve refused to show up, for all of it.
But they’re always there for my siblings. Showed up to every game, paid my brother and sisters rent for six years, went to baby showers, threw birthday parties, everything.
But if I were to ask them for anything (I never would), there’d be strings attached. Say I asked them for $100 for groceries.
I’d be expected to give them $200 the next week to make up for it.
So I’m starting to wonder if I just need to be done. If this is my sign that they just don’t give a damn.
So AITA if I write them off if they don’t show up for the wedding? Or do I just need to grow up and let it go?
The wedding is ten hours away, so I’m trying to give them the benefit of the doubt. But I can’t help but look back on the last 15-17 years and think “why the hell do I still want their attention when they’ve proved they don’t care?
”