A Tale of Two Social Worlds: Excluding My Nephew from My Gay Social Events
My darling readers, you haven’t truly lived until you’ve had your social circle disrupted by an 18-year-old nephew with a penchant for fandoms and androgynous fashion. Oh, let me tell you, if my life were a cocktail, it would be shaken (and stirred) with hilarity, awkwardness, and more than a few exasperated sighs.
First off, shoutout to Reddit’s AITA thread for delivering this gem. Yes, today’s tale is ripped from the virtual pages of Reddit, brought to you by Yours Truly with a generous sprinkling of sass and snark. Let’s dive into the delicious chaos, shall we?
The Setup: Meet the Characters
Our protagonist, a polished gentleman in his 50s (whom I’ll fabulously name Derrick), is part of a gaggle of sophisticated gays in his city. We’re talking married men, adopted kids, wine nights — the whole Urban Alphabet Mafia shebang. Life’s a delightful tapestry until his nephew, Cassidy (formerly Cassie — oh, the drama of adolescence), wants in on the action.
Cassidy, darling Cassidy, aged 18, has come out as male and embraced a look that’s a touch goth, a hint glam, and a sprinkle of androgyny. Lush long locks, makeup art worthy of a drag queen, and a falsie mustache you could twirl in a silent film. Fabulous? You bet. Appropriate for uncle Derrick’s seasoned soirées? Well, let’s see…
The Chaotic Gatherings
Derrick, generous uncle that he is, grants Cassidy access to his gaydom wine nights on reaching adulthood. This is where the plot thickens faster than a Drag Race catfight. Moment one: Any mention of the naughty S-E-X sends Cassidy into huffs and puffs that would put the big bad wolf to shame. Darling, if you can’t handle the talk, you’ll find yourselves walking out faster than you can say ‘safe word’.
Moment two: Give Cassidy a glass of vino, and oh, child, do the catastrophes commence. He slings the word
Original story
My brother has two young adult children, Maisy, 19, and Cassidy, 18. I am a gay man in my 50s.
Both Maisy and Cassidy are very young for their ages. They live out their lives entirely online, and neither of them have any real life friends.
They are both very into fandoms around boy bands. They both have some interest in fashion which they follow on social media.
Roughly 2 years ago Cassie announced identifying to be a male. As part of this Cassie changed fashion somewhat to be a kind of goth/glam / androgynous look.
Cassie has long hair and wears a great deal of makeup and this did not change after the announcement, but Cassie began adding in a mustache and small goatee which were applied with makeup.
I am part of a very tight-knit group of friends in this city who are all gay men. Cassie never showed much interest in my social life before but after his announcement he began asking to attend my social events.
I told Cassie once he turned 18 he could come.
All of my friends are in their 40s and 50s and most of them are married with kids. We drink wine and talk about our lives and it’s usually very domestic but it can get raunchy.
The first uncomfortable part was that anytime there was any reference to sex, Cassie would loudly huff and sigh and at one point rush out of the room. I’m presuming Cassie is not comfortable with sex but I was not going to babysit him as he is an adult.
Once Cassie had a glass or two of wine he loosened up more but it got a lot worse. The word “f****t” started flowing out of Cassie’s mouth non-stop.
Cassie repeatedly talked about how every aspect of himself proved how he was such a “f****t” and had always been one. Cassie brought up his love of fashion and boy bands as examples of this.
This caused a stunned uncomfortable silence in the room. Each and every one of us in that room besides Cassie has been called that word before by someone who was in the midst of doing terrible things to us or threatening them.
Cassie has never been in a position to be called that in any context.
Ask Cassie had more wine he kept on changing the subject back to his boy bands. We are grown ups with interesting lives and none of us are interested in boy bands.
Anytime the conversation strayed from fashion or boy bands Cassie hijacked it back as he got more drunk.
People started leaving and I was furious. Because Cassie is apparently terrified of confrontation I told my brother that Cassie will not be welcome back to any of my events until he grows up more.
Apparently Cassie had a meltdown and said that he needed to attend these events to be part of his community and it was a need for him, not a want. My brother is acting like I’m responsible for Cassie’s mental health.
Am I the asshole.