Based on a real story from Reddit.
Picture this: You’re floating in that beautiful hormonal cloud known as pregnancy, already dealing with morning sickness, weird cravings, and all the hoops that come with growing a tiny human inside you. But to add a lovely cherry on top, let’s throw in catching something that makes you feel like you were hit by a truck. Got the visual? Good. Now enter stage left—your boyfriend who is too caught up in his own melodrama to lift a finger for you. Oh, the sweet symphony of life!
When Life Hands You Lemons and Everyone Else is Making Lemonade
Meet our brave heroine, 18 weeks pregnant and recently smacked down by what sounds like the worst flu ever. Her boyfriend’s grandpa recently passed away, so she did the supportive partner thing and stuck around for the deathbed goodbyes. Alas, she fell ill shortly after, showcasing the wonders of hospital germs. The poor thing tells her boyfriend she’s weak and hungry and asks for a little help on the DL. His response? Essentially: “Nah, I’ve got my own problems.” Bless his heart.
If you’ve ever tried navigating life pregnant, hungry, and sick, you’ll know it’s like trying to juggle flaming swords while wearing a blindfold. This girl needs sustenance, and she’s not asking for the moon—just a sandwich. Instead, she gets a sympathy bypass as her boyfriend decides his mental state is too fragile for, oh you know, basic human decency.
The Cold Shoulder of Grief
While she’s home trying to get by on nothing but cereal and chips, our gallant boyfriend is busy hosting family until the ungodly hour of 3 AM. He’s in full grieving mode, folks, hosting church groups, sweeping up condolences like a sorrowful socialite. She’s left high and dry, and every time he’s a little less available, the grievous tally marks stack higher. She calls up to ask for help—a sign of humanity, a plea for some hot food—and gets dismissed like she’s asking for gold-plated lobster. She’s slammed with accusations of selfishness and evilness (yes, really), for daring to not put his grief above her need to eat like, you know, a human being.
Would You Like Some Salt with That Wound?
Finally, blessed silence as the evening settles back to normalcy, but does the boyfriend redeem himself? No ma’am, he does not. He calls her at 3 AM to sleep ‘on the phone’—a decidedly hollow gesture that lasts only twenty minutes before he hangs up. By this time, she’s hurt beyond recognition but also smart enough to start considering her own sanity over his chronic self-pity.
When Grief Faces Reality
Alright, folks, here’s where I weigh in. This tale’s gotten me feeling some type of way! Yes, grief is paralyzing. Losing someone close to you prompts a kind of pain that’s hard to articulate. But here’s the rub: empathy should never go on vacation just because life throws you a curveball. Being stressed about the funeral is valid—ignoring your very pregnant, very sick girlfriend is not. As far as I’m concerned, this guy couldn’t be bothered to do anything not sanctioned by his grief, thus proving he’s about as supportive as a chocolate teapot.
And honey, let me teach you a golden lesson: be with someone who sees you when you’re down, who hears you when you’re silent, and who feeds you when you’re starving—not just when it’s convenient for them. It’s okay to grieve, but it’s not okay to use grief as a blanket excuse to abandon your pregnant partner. Period. If this “relationship” doesn’t evolve, I’d say it’s time for our girl to move forward, food stamps in hand, and find someone who values her health—mental, physical, and maternal.
So, dear readers, catch this as your takeaway: life is full of storms, but when it rains, the right partner won’t just hand you an umbrella; they’ll wade through the floodwaters with you. And if they don’t, you best believe it—they deserved to be tossed overboard with the rest of the dead weight.
Original story
Backstory: My boyfriend’s grandpa passed away 4 days ago. When he passed we met all of his family at a small ER to say our goodbyes.
The ER made everyone wear masks. Due to a sickness going around the hospital.
So 2 days ago I started to feel really bad body aches, sore throat etc. Keep in mind I’m 18 weeks pregnant.
I told him how I felt and he basically said he doesn’t want to get sick because his grandpas funeral is coming up. I told him I was feeling weak as well as hungry and didn’t want to drive myself home then be hungry once I got there.
I asked him if he was okay with helping me for the night and I’ll leave in the morning. Basically just bring me some food to the room so I wouldn’t contaminate any other areas of the house.
He told me he had a lot on his mind and wasn’t in the right head space to help me. So I told him I understand and left.
When I got home I made something small to eat then went to sleep. Yesterday morning he calls and checks on me.
I tell him how I feel more sick than when I left. He just says okay.
The rest of the day he has family over until about 3am just offering their condolences and keeping his family company. Around 4pm I called and asked him for help to see if he could bring me something to eat because all I had the strength to get myself were just snacks like chips, cereal.
No real meals and I wanted to make sure I had enough in me for the baby. He basically brushed me off saying he has no idea how he could help and said I was selfish for not thinking about him grieving and how he was stressed and had a million things on his mind.
He also told me that I was being evil because I said he wasn’t helping me at all. After that I just hung up.
He called me at 3am when everyone left to sleep on the phone with me but hung up 20 mins later said he would call back but didn’t. Now I don’t want to speak to him at all.
But don’t want to cause him more stress when he’s already sad about his grandpa.
I want to know if I’m an AH for not respecting his time for grieving. Also would I be an AH for not talking to him today.
I know how It feels to lose your grandpa when you’re so close with him. But at the same time I just asked for a little bit of help and don’t feel like I was asking him for a lot.
Most medications you can’t take during pregnancy because they have bad side effects for the fetus. So I’ve just been waiting It out and he knows that as well.
Update: It’s been decided I am the AH here and that is fine. But for the ones wondering about DoorDash and other options.
I recently just paid my bills and I made groceries for his place since I would be there with him during this time. So unfortunately I cannot afford DoorDash at the moment but that would’ve been my first option.
I didn’t bring any food with me because all of the groceries really have to be cooked besides snacks. Also I know he is grieving and would’ve never said anything but if he was okay enough to do favors for others yesterday he could’ve picked up some food and left It at my door step.
Didn’t even have to come inside. Also I have family and friends but getting them to do things for me is a bit of a challenge and I learned a while ago to stop asking.
It’s really just been me and him caring for one another. But after reading some of your comments I understand how I came off as needy.
Thank You for your responses 🫶🏾🫶🏾
Edit: I speak to my family everyday we are close in that way. I see them every week as well.
No bad blood between us. My friends don’t live close to me to where it’s easy to just drop off food and go.
My parents on the other hand do. But now that I’m an adult and since my other siblings have had children my parents tend to them.
I have two siblings who aren’t in their kids lives atm due to their own faults so my parents step in. When I ask for help where they have to physically do something since I was a kid It was always I’m tired this or I do t feel like going here that.
But when they ask me they feel like im just supposed to do whatever It is they ask. So yea I never call on them first.
I call on my boyfriend we’ve been together 3 years.