A House of Cards: Inheritances, Inequality, and One Heck of a Reddit Drama
Alright, darlings, buckle up! Today, I’ve got a tale as juicy as a ripe summer peach and just as likely to cause indigestion if swallowed wrong. Picture this: a Cantonese mahjong game of inheritance, family drama, and one heck of a Reddit post, starring Irene, her strangely obstinate husband Carl, and their mishmash of offspring.
This yarn unravels from the sticky web of a Reddit post, where a brave bystander dared to ask, “AITA for siding with my friend about her husband’s unfair inheritance choices?” Spoiler alert, sweetie, you couldn’t make this stuff up if you tried! So, let’s dissect this delicious drama piece by piece.
Irene’s Matrimonial Mince Pie
Our tale begins with Irene, who, despite better judgment and matrimony statistics, fell into the arms of Carl—an older gentleman with a divorce under his belt and two grown-up kids to boot. Carl, being the accommodating type, apparently didn’t mind that Irene came with two elementary-age kids of her own, making theirs a real-life Brady Bunch.
Now, Carl’s a provider, owning the very roof over their heads—and only his name graces the deed. Irene contributes by footing part of the mortgage (how modern), but let’s face it, she’s essentially enriching Carl’s property portfolio. Smart move, Irene (not really).
The Will Goes Wild
The plot thickens as the time rolls around for Carl to shuffle his financial deck and draft a will. Here’s where it gets whacky: Carl wants to slice his estate pie equally between his four kids and Irene. On the surface, this seems fair unless you squint through the monocle of logic.
Consider this: Carl’s two eldest are financially secure 30-somethings. Not exactly biting their nails over mortgage rates. Irene’s two are still in the “Mom, where’s my homework?” phase. Carl’s plan? Leave everything equally among the five, effectively tossing Irene and her two out to sea when the inevitable day comes, because the house must be sold to pay everyone their share.
The Notary’s Not Amused
Enter the gallant notary, who, bless his baffled heart, tried waving the red flags at Carl. How about letting Irene and the kids stay in the house until they’re off to college? Why not consider, oh, I don’t know, basic common sense? Carl, apparently convinced that emotions are the enemy of inheritance, stuck to his guns, practically branding Irene a gold digger in the process.
Friendship in the Firing Line
Now, amidst this chaos, we have our Reddit poster—let’s dub them the Rational Robin. They drop by Irene’s during a heated argument worthy of a telenovela. Carl asks Robin for an objective perspective (ha!). Robin sides with Irene, applying a balm of logic to her wounds. Carl explodes, calling Robin an AH for not realizing that “important life choices should be made with logic, not emotions.”
Wait, There’s More! Life Insurance and New Perspectives
The flood of Reddit replies gave Robin some nifty ideas, like suggesting that Irene stops contributing to the mortgage unless she gains equity or Carl considers a life insurance policy. Brilliant moves that might appease the equity imbalance and ensure her youngsters aren’t chewing on equity issues come snack time.
Roger’s Sassy Take
Oh, Carl, Carl, Carl… my dear stubborn mule. Let’s strip it down. Carl loves his four kids equally. Admirable, but those kids are not equal in their needs. His plan might seem fair in a robotic algorithm, but it totally flunks the human experience exam.
Anyone with a drop of common sense can see Irene and her little ones would get the short end of the stick. If Carl actually pops his clogs sooner rather than later, they’ll get yeeted out of the only home they’ve known, giving Carl’s grown kids more cash they probably don’t need.
For crying out loud, how is *that* logical? Maybe he’s trying to be the hero of equality, but honestly, he comes off more as the overzealous villain in Irene’s real-life tragedy.
So, was Rational Robin the AH for siding with Irene? Absolutely not. Emotions in this case are the bedrock of practicality. And sometimes, Carl, life isn’t a spreadsheet. It’s messy, full of heart, and requires more than a stringent formula to navigate.
In conclusion, Irene should consult a financial advisor pronto, re-evaluate her contributions, and perhaps consider investing in voodoo dolls shaped like Carl’s grown kids. Just kidding… maybe.
And remember folks, next time you’re drafting a will, sprinkle in a bit of compassion with that practicality—otherwise, you might just end up the subject of Roger’s next sassy blog post!
Original story
My friend is married to a much older guy. They have two kids, elementary school age.
This is her first marriage and his second. He has two kids from his first marriage (early thirties, both living with partners, established jobs, no issues on the monetary side, one has kids themselves).
My friend – let’s call her Irene – works in education (not a huge salary, but she does ok). Her husband – let’s call him Carl – will retire next year (from a well paying job).
They live in the home he bought before they met, only his name is on the deed.
They pool their finances for household expenses and she also contributes to the mortgage.
With their recent marriage came the issue of organizing their affairs, among which was a will.
The problem was that Carl is deadset on wanting his inheritance equally split between his four kids and Irene. This means they each inherit 20%, regardless of their ages or situation, with no caveats about leaving Irene and the younger kids in the house while the kids are underage.
Essentially, Irene will have to sell the house to give each of the kids their share. Carl also doesn’t want to make different arrangements while his two youngest kids are underage, as he is adamant that they should be treated equally.
While this is fine on principle, the reality is that Carl will most likely be the first to die. Given his age (he is often mistaken for his kid’s grandfather) it’s not unlikely to happen while his kids are still underage.
The notary was a bit baffled by his choices, which he brought up at the meeting to discuss the terms. Irene had no idea this was Carl’s plan and she feels vulnerable, understandably so in my opinion.
The notary tried to suggest to Carl that it would be more prudent to set conditions about the ages of the kids, and perhaps also to (as is customary in my country) have the surviving spouse live in the house, which is then sold and distributed among the kids once that spouse dies too. Equally, of course.
Carl was not open to any provisions the notary suggested for Irene having some form of buffer while the kids are still at home. He all but called Irene a gold digger and said he was sure she was resourceful enough to take care of the kids, but that he had to think about 4 kids, not 2.
Carl seems to love all four kids equally. Sidenote; his older kids do NOT like Irene and that is mutual.
They sided with their mother in the divorce (Irene met Carl after the divorce, which the ex and the older kids don’t believe).
Irene came back from the notary crying her eyes out. I dropped off something at their house by chance and came while they were having an argument about Carl’s choices.
Carl considers me to be a rational, intelligent person (his words) and asked what my opinion was.
When I sided with Irene, he got angry and called me an AH ‘for not realizing that important life choices should be made with logic, not emotions’.
I pointed out his choices seemed illogical and potentially harmful to his two younger kids. He disagreed.
AITA?
EDIT – the amount of responses is overwhelming, I can’t reply to all of them. But thank you all so much for the suggestions!
I will certainly recommend that she stops contributing to the mortgage unless they arrange for her to get equity out of this. And the suggestions for a life insurance policy are also good ones, I think this may be an extra insurance.
I hadn’t considered the equality being found in the fact that he supported his older children in their education and likely will not be around for that time for the youngest kids (certainly the youngest of those two), so to make sure that this is taken into account when he wants it to be equal.
For those telling Irene that marrying an older guy with kids is her fault – well, the heart wants what the heart wants, I think. But thank you all!
Lots to think about for her/them.