Alright, darlings, buckle up because today, we’re diving into a whirlwind tale of love, livestock, and litter…
This delightful saga comes to us straight from the eccentric universe of Reddit. A plucky young woman of 28 has a free-range guinea pig named Twix trotting around her home, making life just a smidgen more adorable and pooptastic. Enter the boyfriend, who has been with her for six months and is not exactly jazzed about having to share floor space with a small, furry, and very much pooping pet. What ensues is a drama fit for a soap opera, but with way more shavings and vitamin C drops.
The Guinea Pig Republic
Twix has it good, y’all. Not too many guinea pigs get their own domain—a lush fiefdom spanning a screened porch and a bedroom. Now, before you clutch your pearls at the idea of a rodent ruling royal, let me lay it out for you. This isn’t some haphazard setup. Twix’s owner has created a small, secure space filled with toys, bedding, water, and ample opportunity for little Twixie to live his best life. No cages here, but not totally free-range either; it’s a safe, well-thought-out habitat. Très chic.
The Love Fest Unravels
But you know what ruffles the feathers of lovebirds quicker than you can say “guinea pig poop”? A boyfriend stepping into some of it. Our protagonist’s boyfriend has been the supportive beau up to this point, perhaps overlooking the scattered poop in the name of love. But the patience has its limits, and one guinea pig turd underfoot was evidently one too many.
On one fine day, in a room that looked more like Twix’s penthouse suite, Mr. Boyfriend had his very own “slip and slide” moment. He stepped in some little poopsies, and it was game over. Cue the epic meltdown. He branded the setup as ‘gross’ and accused our heroine of being inconsiderate. But the pièce de résistance? He dropped the ‘L’ bomb—”If you loved me…” suggesting she should banish Twix to a regular cage and repurpose the extra room for them.
Dueling Loyalties: Twix vs. The Boyfriend
Let’s break it down, shall we? You’re in love with a guy who’s asking you to drastically alter the life of your three-year-old guinea pig to make room for his comfort. It’s a two-bedroom house, so there’s space aplenty. Should Twix be downgraded to a cage just because bae is feeling icky about his occasional missteps?
Look, if Twix were an Instagram-famous golden retriever, this wouldn’t be an issue. But guinea pigs—sweet, chirpy, ground-dwelling potatoes that they are—don’t get the same hype. And therein lies the rub: it’s not about the poop; it’s about respect for Twix’s piggy rights!
Mom’s Unsolicited Wisdom
Enter The Mother, stage left, dropping her two cents and a half. She sides with the boyfriend, delivering that classic ‘you-should-be-valuing-your-man’s-opinion-more’ spiel. She pontificates that placing an animal’s needs above a human’s is practically high treason.
But here’s where it gets me: Twix isn’t just any guinea pig. He’s family, a fur baby. And changing the way you’ve always cared for him because Mr. Six-Months-Later found some poop underfoot? Really, Mother?
Joan’s Judgment
Now, let’s get down to brass tacks, honeys. Here’s my two glamorous cents on the matter. If your boyfriend cannot handle a bit of guinea pig poop and respect your pet-parenting decisions, then I’m sorry, but maybe he’s not the one. A relationship should be built on mutual respect, even if it means sharing space with a tiny poopy emperor.
Look, relationships require compromise, but it shouldn’t mean compromising the quality of life of another creature you love. Real talk: anyone can tolerate a bit of poop if they truly care. Plus, your fabulous Twix wasn’t exactly hiding his poop-producing tendencies when your boyfriend first started dating you. He knew what he signed up for.
Full disclosure, maybe put a little more effort into cleaning up Twix’s surprise droppings before a potential Confession of Love pops down on one knee. But don’t feel obligated to turn your whole life and Twix’s world upside down for someone who’s not ready to share it.
Is she the A-hole for keeping her guinea pig free-ranging in designated space? Oh honey, absolutely not. Fabulous Twix deserves his semi-free reign, and it’s up to the boyfriend to either cuddle up and be a team player or shuffle his irked feet elsewhere.
Original story
I (28F) have had my guinea pig, Twix, for 3 years now. I live alone, and my boyfriend of 6 months (29M) stays over at my house a lot.
Twix is “free-range.” Not completely, because that would be dangerous, but he’s able to move freely between a small screened in porch area and a bedroom.
I don’t have any other animals, but I don’t want to accidentally hurt him or let him hurt himself. He has toys and water throughout the space, it’s totally his, and I love being able to provide him with more freedom than a traditional cage.
Bf has always found this gross but never made it a big deal. But it must have been boiling inside him, because when I was in the room playing with Twix the other day while bf was over, bf came into the room as well and stepped in some poop (which is bound to happen every once in a while with a free range guinea pig).
Bf WENT OFF about how gross it is and how having this space for Twix was inconsiderate to him and if I loved him I would put Twix in a regular size cage and repurpose the extra room in my house for his use/more space for us to be together. My house is 2 bedrooms and like I said, I live alone, it’s not like bf officially moved in.
I love Twix and I don’t think it’s fair to let someone change the way I’ve always treated him. I feel like if Twix was a dog or cat it wouldn’t be a problem because that’s seen as more normal.
My mother agrees I’m not being fair to bf by “putting an animal above a person.”
AITA?
Edits for clarification: The areas Twix has free access to are covered in rubber and PVC flooring. Basically how you would set up a playpen, just larger scale.
I am looking for a buddy for him 💖 but right now he’s solo for a bit. Twix does poop on random areas of the floor, but has some consistent areas and I do clean up after him.
I just can’t clean up after him 24/7 and guinea pigs poop a lot. Twix is not completely free-range around the entire house, just in 2 rooms.