A Flipped BBQ and a Totaled Car: The Barbecue That Got Sizzled by a Pickup Truck
Oh honey, if this isn’t the gold standard of how to turn a sizzlin’ Saturday BBQ into a daytime soap opera, I don’t know what is. Grab your popcorn (or charred burger patty) and buckle up. This tale of familial chaos, pickup trucks, and pristine Porsches is what you get when Reddit meets reality.
The Plot Unfolds…
Picture it: You’re all set to host the mother of all family barbecues. The grill’s on, the lawn’s mowed, and you’ve got the gleaming love of your automotive life—a Porsche 911—parked in its rightful, prized spot. What could possibly go wrong, right? Well, let’s meet our storyteller and protagonist, who probably regrets asking Reddit’s judgment.
Enter the Brother-in-Law (BIL) stage right, with a heavy-duty pickup truck and an even heavier phone addiction. A spectacle indeed, especially when your eyes see him pull in and, bless his heart, gawk RIGHT at your beloved Porsche while multitasking disastrously. When people say, “hold my beer,” BIL’s equivalent was “hold my phone”—on which he was perilously yapping while driving. My jaw would’ve dropped faster than a bass in a fishing tournament.
The Collision That Roared
So there you are, mentally piecing together this picturesque poolside BBQ, only for BIL to execute a collision being guided by his phone’s GPS rather than his own eyes. BAM! Your sweet Porsche is swiftly transformed into modern art, just as the party guests begin to show up. Imagine your face: akin to someone who’s just found out their favorite Netflix series got canceled. Brimming with uncontainable fury, our poor host does what any rational car enthusiast would do—he cancels the barbecue. I would’ve done more than just cancel; you probably would’ve seen a Roger-shaped hole in the wall running off to scream into the void.
The Aftermath
The fallout? Catching those quizzical looks from incoming guests (who’ve driven for hours), all peering between the wrecked car and your thunderous glare. Cue the collective groans as you send everyone packing. You’ve wrecked their plans almost as much as BIL wrecked your Porsche. Meanwhile, your significant other, the miffed Mrs., is now channeling her inner Miss Piggy and demanding to know why her side of the family had to take the detour of a lifetime just to sample the driveway disaster.
A Recipe for Drama
Oh, sweet tea and biscuits, now we venture into the real meat and potatoes of the story. Relationships hanging on by a spark plug thread and financial future in the hands of an insurance adjuster. Let’s put it all in perspective: you’ve just lost a $225,000 baby on wheels, a year-old Porsche, which wasn’t even paid off just yet. Ouch, right? But to pile on this whale of a dilemma, your wife’s galloping mad because her family’s kilometers of travel went up in metaphorical smoke before they could savor a rib.
Let’s be honest here, hun. No one’s jazzed when their car gets reduced to scrap metal. How the fiery pits of your anger haven’t started a bonfire is beyond me. Here’s your BIL, the designated dunderhead of the day, the one who should be on his knees kissing your oil-streaked shoes, instead of gluing his eyes to that cursed smartphone. Whatever happened to basic driving etiquette? Look where you’re bloody going!
Roger’s Final Word: Judge & Jury of Sass
This isn’t about barbecue etiquette, sweetie, but marital diplomacy. Personally, if I were about to shell out for car repairs, family drama would be the least of my worries. BIL needs to foot that repair bill, grovel excessively, and probably avoid making eye contact with you for a good decade. Everyone else can have a virtual catch-up session.
So, Roger’s verdict? You, my dear, are NOT the asshole but rather the unintended host of an episode of ‘Family Feud: Vehicular Manslaughter Edition.’ Let the relatives murmur, but the real courtroom confession should be: always park that automotive beauty somewhere BIL-proof, and maybe never let him within a country mile of your driveway ever again. Until the insurance check has cleared and justice has been duly served.
Original story
Ok this all took place last weekend.
Family barbecue was supposed to take place, in laws, extended family, and family is coming over and all that jazz. BIL drives a huge pickup truck by the way, and I have a 911.
Decent size difference.
I see them pull in right, and BIL is the driver and he’s on his phone. Because of that, he looks right at my car, and as he’s pulling in, he’s still on his phone, and he hits my car.
I guess he thought he was a lot farther than he actually was.
Well, car’s totaled. This is when people are just starting to show up too, and I’m basically steaming.
I was not in barbecue mood at the time, so I told everyone to take themselves and go home, and that it is cancelled. Still waiting on the insurance payout.
Also, I bought the car just last year so it’s not even paid off.
That day after everyone left, my wife is now mad at ME because soem of her family drove 3-5 hours to come, just to be send home on arrival. And I lost $225,000.
I don’t care. But my wife seems to though, so I’m asking here to see if I’m the asshole.