AITA for Making My Wife Drive Even Though She Hates It
Buckle up, buttercups, because I’ve got a story that’s about to hit us harder than a midlife crisis in a Lamborghini dealership. This juicy bit of domestic drama comes straight from the wild west of the internet—Reddit—where an unnamed hero revealed his relationship woes under the colorful banner: ‘AITA for making my wife drive even though she hates it.’
Listen closely, friends. Our protagonist, let’s call him Mr. Clean Record, has a brag-worthy 15-year driving record squeakier than a rubber duck. He’s never had an accident, never seen the flashing red and blue in his rear-view mirror. He’s the kind of driver grandparents wish their grandkids would marry.
Now, enter Mrs. Smash ‘n’ Crash, his wife. In contrast, she’s the Michael Bay of their driveway, having totaled two cars and accumulated fender benders like they’re going out of style. The only thing missing is the theme music from Fast & Furious every time she starts the engine.
And yet, despite this stark difference in their vehicular adventures, Mrs. Smash ‘n’ Crash has the nerve to turn into a living, breathing GPS from the eighth circle of hell every time Mr. Clean Record is in the driver’s seat. She’s all, “Watch the speed! Did you see that car?! Traffic light! WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!”
Well, Mr. Clean Record had enough of the stress injection and decided to flip the script. For the last two months, he’s refused to drive unless it’s her behind the wheel. She’s now the captain of their Volvo ship. And while he’s in the passenger seat, he’s as quiet as a church mouse who’s taken a vow of silence during a vow-of-silence marathon.
This new world order has not gone unnoticed by Mrs. Smash ‘n’ Crash. She loathes being in control of the wheel. She’s also not a fan of driving after having wine with dinner or a beer with friends—heck, even an hour later. Add her complaints that Mr. Clean Record gets to nap on the way home from family visits, and we’ve got more tension than an episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians.
But there’s more: Mr. Clean Record gives her an ultimatum. He’ll gladly return to the driver’s seat, provided she shuts her pie hole about his driving skills. You’d think she was asked to scale Mount Everest in flip-flops given her response. She claims it’s unfair and insists he’s punishing her for being the fretful passenger she inevitably is.
The icing on this well-baked cake? Mr. Clean Record reminds her of their drastically different driving records, essentially saying, “Sweetie, if anyone should be terrified behind the wheel, it’s you!” To which she replied, in no uncertain terms, that he’s behaving like a total jerk.
The Sassy Verdict
Alright, let’s drop some wisdom with a splash of sass. To Mr. Clean Record: Honey, you’re not just driving down the freeway, you’re driving down Relationship Road, and it’s got more potholes than a Big Apple street. Marriage ain’t NASCAR, and it requires more finesse than just good driving skills.
Here’s the tea: Mrs. Smash ‘n’ Crash clearly has anxiety over your driving. Is it rational? Not at all. But anxiety seldom is. You, armed with your pristine record, should aim for a compromise that’s fair and empathetic. Maybe designate driver rotation days or set a ‘three slips and she’s out’ policy for comments. Pointing out her crash history, though factual, feels like a low blow. She already knows she’s no Dale Earnhardt, Jr.
To both: Communication, dearies, is where you’ll find the road to harmony. Perhaps a heart-to-heart over coffee about why she’s so critic-y and why it grates your last nerve could lead to a smoother ride.
But alas, my final verdict: both of you are being a smidge dramatic, but Mr. Clean Record, for making her drive and punishing her without a real conversation—as opposed to just throwing out ultimatums—you’re skating close to Asshatville, population: you.
Roger’s Road Rules
So, to sum it up, smooth operators, here are the golden road rules: keep the dialogue open, explore shared solutions, and maybe, if all else fails, invest in a good set of earplugs and a meditation app. Now, go forth and find that scenic route to relationship bliss!
Original story
I have never had an accident or a traffic ticket in the 15 years I have had a license.
My wife has totaled two cars, been in several fender benders, and has com close to losing her license on demerits.
Despite this whenever we are driving somewhere and I’m behind the wheel she is constantly nagging me. About my speed, about other cars, about upcoming traffic lights, basically everything.
For the last two months I have refused to drive anywhere with her unless she is driving. I do not say anything about her driving.
I don’t warn her about stop signs, I don’t mention that she should brake when she is going to rear end someone, I just let her drive. She has a Volvo.
I will survive.
She has been complaining that she hates being in charge of driving when we go out. She doesn’t like to drive after having wine with dinner or a beer with friends.
Even an hour after the drink. She hates that I can nap on the way home from visiting family that lives a couple of hours away.
I told her I would go back to driving but that I would stop if I heard any criticism from her about it. She thinks that isn’t fair.
She says I’m punishing her for being fretful when she isn’t in control.
I pointed out our driving records and said that she should be more afraid when she is driving than when I am.
She thinks I’m behaving like an asshole. Am I?