AITA For refusing to change my baby’s name?
Oh honey, summer’s ending and the family drama is only heating up. Gather ’round my virtual firepit, because I have a tale that sizzles with more familial heat than a Thanksgiving kitchen. This story is ripped from the salacious annals of Reddit’s AITA forum, a digital Thunderdome where moral gladiators come to duel. Buckle up, buttercups; it’s storytime.
Picture this: We’ve got a modern mom, 32 years young, who recently birthed a cherub named Liam Alexander. The plot twist? Enter Katie, the sister of our leading lady’s partner, who has some feelings—nay, epic demands—about this particular name choice.
Our heroine explains that she and her partner (a 34-year-old supportive chap) spent their gestational months pondering over endless lists of baby names. If you’ve ever been pregnant or partnered with someone walking the wobbly path of baby-naming, you know it’s like choosing the perfect karaoke song—it’s gotta be right, and it’s gotta feel good. And boy, did they nail it with Liam Alexander.
After both families cooed over the newborn perfection that is Liam, Katie jumps in with a heartstring-tugging monologue. Apparently, she once had her heart set on the name Liam, but her controlling hubby Mike vetoed it like it was an expired coupon at the grocery store. To add a pinch of betrayal to the mixture, Mike’s ex already brandished the name Liam for her own offspring, making it off-limits.
Let’s rewind to the part where Katie hits us with “Could you change it?” Oh, sugar, no she didn’t. But yes, she did. She had the golden audacity to suggest they swap their beloved Liam for Alexander as the first name. Cue the record scratch and everyone’s head turning in unison toward our leading lady, who graciously but firmly refuses. This wasn’t a gentle ‘no,’ folks; this was a ‘hell-to-the-no,’ complete with reasons you couldn’t argue even if you tried.
Well, wouldn’t you know it, Katie revisits this naming conundrum a week later at their home. Apparently, the whole ‘let’s pretend this conversation never happened’ approach didn’t cut it for her. Our formidable mom explains that the reason Mike nixed the name was solely because of his toxic relationship with the ex-baby mama. In a masterstroke of diplomacy, she gently suggests names should not be subject to the whims of dramatic ex-relationships. But Katie’s got her blinders on, firmly stuck in her “what-could-have-been” narrative.
For the record, Katie has never dished out emotional confessions about her baby-naming grief to our protagonist. They’re not name-bonded BFFs engaged in sacrosanct baby name pacts. It’s not as if our heroine yanked the coveted name from Katie’s secret diary, cackling like a villain. She simply chose a name both she and her partner adored, end of story—or so she thought.
But the guilt lingers. Our leading lady can’t help but feel a twinge of it, pondering over Katie’s fragile emotional state sprouted from her toxic co-parenting ordeal. Saintly much? Maybe. But does she feel like a bit of a TA (that’s “the asshole” for those blissfully uninitiated)? Absolutely.
Roger’s Verdict: Martyrdom Ain’t Your Gig, Babe
Alright, darlings, let me march in with my glitter-dusted gavel. Katie, darling, take several seats. Your emotional baggage stinks worse than expired milk, but that’s no excuse to hijack someone else’s well-considered baby name. There’s a vast smorgasbord of names out there—if you need help picking one, might I suggest Google or perhaps a baby name generator?
As for our new mom, listen up: you did literally everything right. Name your baby what feels right in your heart, and that’s Liam Alexander. Mike’s murky past choices with his ex are exactly that—his choices, in the past. You owe Katie absolutely nothing but sugary words of comfort, and you delivered those like a pro.
In summation, Katie needs to untangle her grudges from everyone else’s happiness. Your baby’s name is safe and marvelous, thank you very much. So sip that chamomile tea, cuddle little Liam, and revel in the fact that you’re not just NTA (not the asshole), but a legend in newborn nomenclature. Roger out!
Original story
My Partner (M34) and I (F32) recently welcomed our son Liam Alexander into the world. My partner’s sister (Katie) has 2 kids (James 6 and William 4) with her husband (Mike), and he has a daughter (10) with his EX.
My partner and I didn’t settle on a name for our son until the day of his birth. I have always loved the name Liam, for its sound and meaning, and was over the moon when my partner finally agreed to one of the names on my list.
24 hours after Liam was born our families came to meet him, his sister being one of the first. We announced his name to her and her immediate response was “Oh, I’ve always loved the name Liam, but Mike wouldn’t let me use it for our first son!
Could you change it? Maybe call him Alexander as his first name?
Its sounds nicer!” I firmly said I loved the name too, and while I empathise with her, we would not be changing his name, or the order of his names.
I thought that was the end of it until she visited us at home, a week later, and brought it up again. The reason Mike didn’t let her use the name is because his EX has a son with that name.
I told that shouldn’t have stopped her from using the name she loved. Those boys do not know each other, do not go to the same school, don’t have the same last name and basically live separate existences outside of their shared half-sister.
I also said she could still use the name in future, it’s common in my culture and tends to serve as a bond between the kids.
For clarification, Katie and I have never discussed baby names, and we have no name pacts. The only reason I feel like TA is because Mike and his EX have a toxic coparenting relationship, and this understandably affects Katie.
Katie and I have a good relationship but she doesn’t talk about Mike’s ex, so this is as much as I know. AITA?