AITA for Reminding My Ex I’m Only Responsible for Our Children and Not All of His Kids?
Oh, gather around, dear readers, because we have quite the spicy tale today. Imagine enjoying your afternoon cuppa while scrolling through Reddit, only to stumble upon this absolute gem of a story—a real party-stopper! This riveting drama puts most soap operas to shame, complete with a cast of characters who could fill an entire season of “Days of Our Lives.”
Let’s set the scene, shall we? Our protagonist, a 35-year-old wonder woman (let’s call her Supermom), once blissfully married to a now 40-year-old man-child (henceforth known as Ex-man). Together, they brought into the world two boys—the dynamic duo, ages 12 and 11. A typical all-American family, until, cue dramatic music, things went down the dumpster faster than the Titanic.
Why, you ask? Because Ex-man discovered the fountain of adolescence right smack in the middle of fatherhood. One moment he was a husband and father, the next, he was a Peter Pan wannabe, frolicking around with friends as if adult responsibilities were a mere figment of someone else’s imagination. We’re talking full-on high school jock behavior while Supermom was busy creating tiny humans—how charming!
The Decline of the Pretend Teenager
After filing for that golden ticket to freedom—a divorce—the court, in its infinite wisdom, decided Ex-man could play babysitter every other weekend, plus a stint during the summer. But like an episode of “Extreme Makeover: Life Edition,” Ex-man suddenly became Mr. Responsible when another woman entered the scene and surprise, surprise, baby number three made his grand entrance. Because nothing screams ‘get-it-together’ like an unplanned pregnancy am I right?
As life’s irony would have it, Ex-man—now saddled with full custody of baby number three—found himself scrambling to be dad of the year. As if new levels of chaos were somehow appealing, Ex-man then aligned his stars with a new wife, creating their own Brady Bunch situation, minus the laugh track and with all of the stress. This duo further expanded their brood, bringing the grand total to five kiddos under one undoubtedly leaky roof.
The Community Co-Parenting Conundrum
Here’s where things get as messy as a Waffle House at 2 AM. With a new fatherhood fervor, Ex-man had the audacity to conflate a co-parenting agreement of two kids into some bizarre collective child-raising initiative involving Supermom as co-pilot. And oh boy, it wasn’t just the baptism by dirty diapers she was stepping into.
Ex-man apparently believed their custody exchanges were a picnic for everyone. Ever gracious, he’d bring all five of his offspring along, expecting a kumbaya moment. He even dreamed up babysitting shifts, enthusiastic about the idea while Supermom dodged those duties like Neo dodged bullets in “The Matrix.” Meanwhile, altruism wasn’t enough to stem his entitlement—you can bet your last avocado toast he started demanding donations of old clothes for his other progeny. Supermom was but two loading screens away from buying a $40 t-shirt, so what’s another five mouths to clothe, right?
The School Supplies Showdown
Now buckle up for the grand climax: the back-to-school bonanza—a real nod to the chaos of “Home Alone,” without the comedic relief. Supermom, the Amazon goddess herself, had her shopping cart filled with all the essentials for her dynamic duo. Enter Ex-man, stage left, clutching his pearls because the haul wasn’t split among all his five children. Ever the man of imagination, Ex-man spun the tale that they should be a village, that Supermom’s resources should be as fluid as his ability to create offspring.
Supermom, taking no prisoners, delivered the ultimate mic drop—reminding him in no uncertain terms that she was neither a convenience store nor a community chest for his collection of kids. After one last futile attempt to guilt-trip her with talks of financial strain, Supermom cut him off. With a click of her heels and a firm NO, she reaffirmed that her role as co-parent extended to their two boys, and those other kids could rely on their progenitor and his wife.
The Final Word from Yours Truly
So, dear readers, you’re wondering if our heroine is the A-hole here? Darling, please. To that, I say, not in this universe or any other where common sense prevails. Here’s the tea: Responsible parenting doesn’t mean being emotionally or financially blackmailed into supporting someone else’s journey through adulthood. Supermom hit the nail on that thick skull right on the head.
Co-parenting means balancing the responsibilities for the shared children, not diving headfirst into the trainwreck of another family’s poor planning. Ex-man can keep playing the fiddle, but girlfriend ain’t buying tickets to that show. So, to all the Supermoms out there weary of an Ex reaching into your crystal-topped wine glass—your boundaries are your superpower. Here’s to you and the sweet nectar of sanity.
Original story
My ex-husband (40M) and I (35F) have two children together (12,11M). We divorced about 10 years ago now because I feel like he regressed as a husband and a father during my second pregnancy and he was even worse when our younger son was born.
He was acting like a high school or college kid or a single 20 something with no kids. He spent more time with friends than with us.
His friends were also treating me more like his mom and expecting me to pick him up from their houses when they needed to get on with stuff.
He fought for 50% custody of our kids which he wasn’t given and for the first two or three years he had every other weekend and a two week period during the summer with them as well as alternating holidays. He started being more involved and eventually he did get 50% custody.
It was at that time I found out he got some woman pregnant and he realized with three kids he needed to get his act together. He ended up with full custody of his third child.
Then he met his wife. They have two more children together now.
There are two kids in her life, but I don’t believe they’re her biological children anyway, who she is also partially supporting. Those two kids don’t live with them but apparently she/they pay for stuff for this child.
Ex and I started getting along better but then his marriage was rocky. As his marriage worsened he started treating me like a co-parent to all his kids.
He’d bring his other children to custody exchanges and expecting interactions between me and his other children. Then it was requests to babysit for him and his wife, which I never did.
Then it was comments about our boys old clothes at my house being sent to his house for his other kids and how we needed to make sure they had adequate clothing. I told him there was no we in that and he said of course there is, we’re co-parents.
I said of our two sure, but not his other kids. It was requests for me to have his children in my home or to take them out to eat with me and our kids.
And finally it has turned into back to school craziness. I bought supplies for the boys and he told me I hadn’t bought nearly enough for everyone.
I was like hold up, what’s that supposed to mean and he pointed out that what I bought wouldn’t be possible to share evenly between all five children. I told him we don’t have five children, we have two, the two I bought those for.
I told him I am responsible for our children not his three others. I told him he has a wife, they share two of those children, the other is in their home, so it’s up to them.
He told me that I know they don’t have a lot of money and I cut him off and told him that still didn’t make his children my problem. He said I can’t possibly take care of just two of them, not when we’re co-parenting and all five kids live together 50% of the time.
He said I should be a part of the community to help raise these kids and keeping my distance like I do is so dang cold.
AITA?