Y’all, if you’re still holding on to that powder from 1980-something, you best sit down and let ol’ Mary enlighten you on why you should dig through those old makeup drawers and give them a clean sweep!
Good day, my dear friends and fellow patriots! It’s Mary here, your trusty neighbor, ready to sprinkle a bit of wisdom and a whole lot of chuckles. Now, I know in my heart that throwing away something that you paid good money for hurts as much as watching your beloved old flag tear in the wind. But, darlin’, I’ve gotta tell you, there’s a reason those mascara tubes and lipsticks come with mysterious little symbols on the back. So, let’s dive in, and don’t go skedaddling off until you reach the end, ya hear?
Why You Can’t Keep That ’70s Eyeliner Forever
A little birdie once told me that makeup doesn’t exactly have a forever-after shelf life. Shocking, isn’t it? We’ve always been proud, resourceful folks, getting every penny’s worth out of anything we buy. But makeup is a different critter altogether. Ever wondered why that ancient eyeliner somehow feels like you’re drawing on your eyelids with a hardened pencil? It’s because products start breaking down, and they may even harbor bacteria – the bad kind, not the good farmyard type!
Foundation for a Healthy (and Sparkling) Face
Now let’s chat about foundation. Trust me when I say the foundation from your cousin’s wedding 25 years ago isn’t still ‘good as new.’ You see, after about a year, foundation starts separating like the layers in your granny’s old recipe gelatin mold. Not pretty, y’all. And I promise, it can mess with your skin in ways that make you swear off makeup completely. Most liquid foundations nowadays last 6-12 months. Afterwards, it’s time to give ’em the boot!
The Eyes Have It – Mascara and Eyeliner
Aah, the eyes, the windows to our souls (and perhaps the first to show signs of age). Friends, your eyes need tender loving care. Mascara! That fabulous wand can become a little petri dish if you hold onto it longer than 3-4 months. Trust me, those bubbles inside tell you it’s time to send that tube to makeup heaven. Same goes for eyeliner! Whether it’s liquid or pencil, keep them under six months. Got a brand new date night coming up? Let’s not have bacteria gatecrash it!
Lipsticks and Glosses – Not So Everlasting
Ah, sweet lips! Dear ladies, I feel like I’m the great dame of the lipstick realm. My advice? Two years. Tops! Lipsticks can last a bit longer than liquid products, but if the color changes or smells like something has been left in the summer car too long, it’s time to retire it. Lip glosses are even more finicky, becoming a goopy mess after about a year. So, don’t be shy – apply, swipe, shine, and when it’s time, let ’em go!
Powders and Blushes – Keeping Your Glow
Now, powders and blushes might have a slightly longer timeline, but don’t get too comfortable sparing them from the makeup clean-out. These babies last around 2 years. And just because they seem dry doesn’t mean they’re immune to going bad. Watch out for any changes in texture or smell. If your bronzer suddenly smells like a stale loaf of bread, well, better you found out before heading out to Sunday service!
Brave the Big Makeup Clean-Out
Now, here’s the real test, kind folks. Head on over to that makeup stash and give it a good ol’ Spring Cleaning. It may feel like pulling out sweet memories and parting with old friends, but trust this granny – it’s worth it! Fresh products mean fresh faces, and who wouldn’t want that? And if you find it hard to part, just remember all the new, healthier makeup possibilities out there waiting for ya. Let’s make sure our glow is safe, healthy, and, oh, so radiant!
This was as fun as one of our backyard hoedowns! Thanks for sticking around and diving face-first into the world of makeup timelines with me. Blessings and love to all of you! Until next time, God bless America and God bless our beautiful selves.