A Sassy Tale of Love, Real Estate, and Family Dynamics: When Privacy Meets Mama’s Boy Syndrome
Greetings, dear readers! Roger here, your ever-sassy, ever-opinionated guide to navigating the wild waters of relationships. Today, we dive into a story straight out of Reddit’s AITA board—a tale of love, conflicting dreams, and a boyfriend who might as well be glued to his mother’s apron strings. Without further ado, let’s dive into this riveting affair.
The Setup
Our protagonist, a strong-willed 27-year-old woman, has been dating her boyfriend, a 31-year-old man of intriguing contradictions, for about ten months. Things were progressing nicely until they broached the subject of moving in together. Initially, it seemed like a dream come true—just her, her boyfriend, and a tiny unobtrusive living quarter somewhere on the property for his parents. You know, the whole ‘one big happy family’ cliché.
But wait! Just when you thought you knew which way the wind was blowing, the plot thickens. Like a soap opera twist you didn’t see coming—BAM!—suddenly, it wasn’t just his parents anymore. Now we’ve got the grandparents, the house is getting crowded, and our protagonist is reconsidering her life choices faster than you can say ‘family reunion nightmares.’
The Family Plan: A House Full of… Everyone?
Picture this: a big ole’ house where privacy is as mythical as a unicorn. A house where our heroine would share her supposed haven with her boyfriend’s entire family—with his grandparents conveniently perched just a hallway’s walk away, waiting like final bosses who can pop out at any moment to remind you how to live your life.
Our protagonist, let’s call her Jane for simplicity’s sake, comes from a family that values independence and, for the love of all things sacred, privacy. Now contrast that with her boyfriend, who we’ll diplomatically name Tom. Tom believes the entire family should live together blissfully under one roof, like a real-life, never-ending Thanksgiving dinner.
Jane, however, is (quite reasonably, I might add) not on board with this Brady Bunch redux. Her ideal future includes visits to her family on her terms, not living under their steely gaze 24/7. Tom, on the other hand, is convinced he owes his family the world because they financially supported him through a challenging period. Sounds noble, right? Noble until you’re the one stuck cleaning the shared bathroom.
Tom’s Apron Strings: A Manchild’s Manifesto
Tom is a man who, despite his age, still has his meals cooked, his clothes washed, and his chores done by none other than Mama Bear herself. Moving in together for Jane means inheriting these roles, without getting any closer to Tom cutting those apron strings. The division of labor Tom proposes is downright medieval—Jane gets to run the inside of the house, while Tom takes care of the yard. Sounds fair, right? Cue the eye roll.
Let’s snip to Tom’s real pièce de résistance, a message he sent that could make any reasonable person see red: “You know I’m right and everyone would agree… if you think I’m coming home to cook and clean, you’re outta your mind…” Yikes. Tom’s message reaches its final crescendo with a parade of emojis signifying his dismay and pseudo-respectful farewell. But we’ll get to that gem in a moment.
The Unsurprising Break-Up and Its Gloriously Inevitable Response
Jane finally reaches her limit and decides to draft a breakup text that’s both diplomatic and assertive. After highlighting that this relationship isn’t working out due to his undying attachment to his family, she writes, “I don’t foresee this relationship working… It’s supposed to be our lives together not me and your family together…” Bravo, Jane!
Tom’s response, however, is the pièce de résistance of delusional melodrama: “Then that’s your choice… I was willing to make it work but apparently you’re not willing to sacrifice enough… good luck finding a man…Iloveyou 😘😘😍🥰💍🤟🏻🖤💙🫶🏼👑” Someone get this man a reality check, or at least a new set of emojis!
Roger’s Sassy Verdict
Oh, Tom. Dear, deluded Tom. Living with your family is one thing—expecting your significant other to conform to your family-centric lifestyle is another. Relationships are a two-way street, not a one-way trip to Sacrificeville. Jane is smart for recognizing this setup would spell disaster and choosing her sanity over a tumultuous, apron-string-ridden future.
And so, dear readers, the lesson here is simple: when it comes to love and real estate, always prioritize your mental health and independence. Remember, moving in with someone should feel like starting a new chapter, not reenacting a crowded Christmas special. Until next time, keep it sassy and never settle for less than you deserve!
Yours sassily,
Roger
Original story
I (27F) have been dating my bf (31M) for around ten months now. Recently we have been talking about me moving to him two hours away, transferring my job down by him, giving up my dream to relocate to a different state and building a house together.
When we first discussed this it was his parents having a living quarters which I was fine with…but then it changed to him building a house with a living quarters for his grandparents and having his parents be in the actual house where we would be living. This story changes every day.
I asked him why the story changed and it was basically his entire family living in one house. He said he had brought it up about his grandparents moving into the living quarters and his parents living with us and when his grandparents passed away then his parents would move into the living quarters.
He said he had told me but I have never heard that come from him early on when he first talked about it.
We come from two very different families where I would like my freedom, PRIVACY and to be more independent away from my parents and go visit them when they needed me or whenever I could come up. My bf on the other hand wants all of his family in the same house (with the living quarters for the grandparents).
He thinks he owes his family the world because they paid for a private high school hours away because of a condition I won’t mention (which was their own decision)
I understand his mom cannot do things she would be able to normally do given her health issues but his dad just watches her struggle everyday too and does nothing about it. I also have a dog and his parents do not want pets even if it was “our” house at the end of the day but they would still be in the same living space.
The house would have to be spotless 24/7 and would have to be done his mother’s way. I feel like she would tell me how to maintain my own house and how to take care of kids if it would ever come to that.
He is attached to her apron strings and cannot make decisions for himself/by himself and expects his parents to make the decisions
His mother does everything for him (cooks, cleans, and does his laundry everyday, etc) and would expect me to do the same whenever his parents moved into the living quarters after his grandparents pass away. In my mind house chores should be split 50/50 inside and outside but that is not the case.
He expects me to take care of the inside of the house and he maintains the outside of the house. And I quote his message “”cant handle what i was saying cause you know im right and everyone would agree You wont win this argument cause (insert friends name) is the same way as me and my mom thinks the same way and my grandma thinks the same way trust me you want the easy way through life guess what if im working 60+ hrs a week and you think im coming home to cook and clean your outta you mind good luck finding a man to do that that actually has a blue collar job that works like i work”” now I’m not sure who in the right mind would even agree with that statement because I would like to know what “men/man” would agree to that.
He’s getting mad and yelling at me asking what’s wrong with him buying a house for him, his parents and grandparents.
He won’t compromise on even making a living quarters for all of them separate from the house we would be living in. He would rather walk down the hallway to see his parents and grandparents rather than walking across the street or driving.
I told I would be perfectly fine with a living quarters for his parents but I didn’t not expect the grandparents to be in the mixture now.
I also said we will cross that bridge when it comes because he hasn’t even looked at other properties yet nor has the funds to do so. There has been no further action since they only looked at one property and haven’t shopped around.
Nothing is set in stone and he “plans” to have a house within the next two years for all of them. So AITA for not wanting to live under the same roof with him and his family?
UPDATE 7:06PM: I texted this just now “”I don’t foresee this relationship working as I don’t want to move into a house with your parents. If it was just you and I it would be different.
It’s supposed to be our lives together not me and your family together. You said this is what you want and it’s “your way and your dream” and I’m not going to stop you from your dream but I don’t think this is going to work out between us.
You’re free…””
UPDATE (HIS RESPONSE): “”Then thats your choice then i was willing to make it work but apparently your not willing to sacrifice enough to make it work so Iloveyou 😘😘😍🥰💍🤟🏻🖤💙🫶🏼👑 and i hope you find happiness and i hope you fond everything you want in life and someone thats willing to do as much as i was for you 😔💔💔””