No Bryan, No Cry: Why I’m Keeping Mom and Her BF Away from My Baby’s Birth
Gather around, my dear readers, for today’s tale is a juicy morsel plucked right off the vine of the internet’s garden of gossip – Reddit. A daring soul, 26-year-old Jane (let’s call her that), reached out to the online ether with an inquiry that’s as spicy as it is relatable. Her situation? Oh, just your average, run-of-the-mill dilemma about whether she’d be a jerk for keeping her mom and her mom’s delightfully terrible boyfriend away from her baby’s birth. Grab your popcorn, folks; we’re diving in!
Jane’s mom, Sharon, has been shacking up with Bryan since 2009. Since day one, these two have been about as compatible as oil and water. According to Jane, Bryan is a walking faux pas, an egregious violator of the social contract, who either doesn’t know or doesn’t care how to interact with humans in a remotely civilized manner. Sounds like a winner, doesn’t he?
Picture this: Last summer, Jane was caught in a downpour while waiting for Bryan to pick her up because her boyfriend (who we’ll call Prince Charming because he’s not the focus here) had absconded with their apartment keys. Mere minutes later, as Jane is doing her best impression of a drowned rat, Bryan finally deigns to call and let her know he’s on his way. Little did our heroine know, Bryan’s trip was apparently extended due to an impromptu session of Pokémon Go. Yes, you read that right. This grown man couldn’t be bothered to pick up his partner’s soaked daughter because Pikachu was lurking somewhere in the virtual bushes. Bryan, my guy, you might want to reassess your priorities.
Anyway, Jane was understandably miffed when he rolled up, and when her mom inquired about her state of sogginess, Jane had no qualms airing the dirty laundry. Bryan reacted like every mature adult would – by yelling, denying her version of events, and dropping a bombshell: “I told you I never wanted her in my life!” Cue dramatic gasp. Ah, the sweet symphony of familial dysfunction.
Fast forward to the present, Jane has discovered she’s pregnant (congrats, girl!). Now, you’d think that announcing this happy news to the future grandmother would be a no-brainer. But alas, Sharon, our queen of indiscretion, once spilled the beans about Jane’s sister’s pregnancy faster than you can say “family betrayal.” This isn’t Sharon’s first rodeo either; she made a scene during her other daughter’s childbirth, practically staging a one-woman coup to ensure no siblings were allowed. Not that her daughter wasn’t a fully grown adult or anything. Oh, and did I mention she pulled similar stunts during Jane’s other sister’s births? Yeah, nothing quite says “Welcome to the world, tiny human” like a family feud.
So, here we are, Jane pondering life’s greatest mysteries: Is she the bada** for thinking she should keep her mom and Bryan out of the delivery room? Let’s break it down:
1. Bryan: The Anti-Social Dynamo
If someone declares they never wanted you in their life, you’re under no obligation to hand them an invitation to your child’s existence. Babies don’t need that kind of negativity, and neither do you. Bryan’s Pokémon Go antics and subsequent outburst are just the icing on this unsavory cake.
2. Sharon: The Gossip Queen
Sharon seems to think that boundaries are optional, at best. If she’s already proven herself incapable of respecting Jane’s sister’s wishes, it’s unlikely she’ll suddenly develop a sense of discretion when it comes to Jane’s news. Her track record with childbirth scenes? Yikes.
3. The Right to Set Boundaries
Jane, like any expectant mother, has the right to decide who will share those first precious moments with her newborn. If she wants her siblings and bio dad by her side, that’s her prerogative. Birth is stressful enough without unwanted dramatis personae turning up uninvited.
Now, dear reader, if you’re wondering what my opinion is – would Jane be the a**hole? – let me give it to you straight: Absolutely not.
If Bryan doesn’t want Jane in his life, Jane’s child needn’t be subjected to his charming personality either. And Sharon? Well, perhaps she’ll think twice about her role as the news anchor of family secrets once she realizes she’s out of the loop on this one. After all, sometimes you have to serve up a dish of the same medicine to remind people to keep their overstepping feet firmly on the ground.
So Jane, my dear, you’re not the a**hole here. Your baby, your rules. And to the expectant mothers out there reading this – set your boundaries as high as you like. People can either respect them, or they can Pokémon Go away.
Until next time, keep those boundaries tight and your sass tighter. Yours sassily, Roger out.
Original story
For context, my (26f) mother (49f) has been with her current boyfriend (49m) since 2009. Let’s call him Bryan.
Me and Bryan never hit off as I’ve always got weird vibes from him. The guy has 0 social cues and just doesn’t take time to use common sense.
He obviously never liked me and I 100% can tell that he finds me annoying or whatever. The feelings are mutual on this one.
Last summer my mother opened a chip stand, and me, her and Bryan were the only employees. I waited for him in the rain (I couldn’t go back in since my boyfriend left with the apartment complex’s keys) and saw him drive by like 2 minutes after going out.
I thought he was going to my apartment as it’s on the same road (me and bf have our own apartments but I stay more at his place than mine). I waited 5 minutes, nothing.
My apartment was only a 2 minutes drive from where I was. He finally calls asking if I was home, I said that I was at my boyfriend’s & he said he was on his way.
Another 5 minutes goes by, still not there. 10 minutes later he arrived, I’m soaked at this point and irritated.
He tells me that he was parked playing Pokémon Go. I’m PoGo player too but damn, that pissed me off.
When we got there, my mom immediately read me and asked me what’s wrong and why I’m all wet. I told her I had to wait on Bryan for like nearly 20 minutes outside because he decided to go play Pokémon Go.
She got upset at him and he started yelling saying he never took that long and that I was exaggerating. I called bullshit and he popped off, telling my mom the words that will always ring in the back of my mind: “I told you I never wanted her in my life!
”
Ah yeah? Okay.
If that’s how you feel, go ahead.
Anyways, I found out on Wednesday that I am pregnant and haven’t told my mother yet. I don’t really want to because when my little sister announced my mother her pregnancy, she begged her to not tell anyone.
The second my sister left, she told nearly everyone that stopped by that she was going to be a grandmother again (my other sister has 4 kids).
When my little sister gave birth, it was a total mess. My mother told EVERYONE that it was “parents only, no siblings” although my sister is a whole adult herself.
She tried her best to keep us away from the hospital and caused a whole scene when my two siblings still went with our biological father. I’m not a petty person, I just like to feed people their medicine.
Do stupid shit, it’ll come back to you. And if anyone if wondering, yes she pulled similar shit with my older sister’s births.
I don’t really plan on telling her. I do however plan on telling her that I want my siblings there, and my biological father.
I do not want her to cause a scene and have everyone on edge. I do not plan on letting Bryan near my child at all, or in my child’s life for all that matters.
If he doesn’t want me in his life, why let him be in my child’s life?
WIBTA?