AITA For Leaving My Girlfriend Behind for My Birthday Trip?
Ah, Reddit – the glorious digital Colosseum where real people air out their real-life dilemmas and we, the internet’s peanut gallery, do what we do best: judge. Today, let’s dive into the story of one man questioning whether he’s the jerk for potentially embarking on an international adventure without his financially strapped girlfriend. Prepare yourselves for the drama, the intrigue, and my, oh-so-sassy, take on the matter. 🍿
Background Check: The Birthday Boy Beckons
So, our protagonist, we’ll call him Dave, is a 39-year-old gentleman who has been dating a lovely lady, let’s call her Jen, who is 33, for a mere three months. Things have been going well – cue the violins – until the topic of Dave’s 40th birthday waltzed into their conversations like a glittery elephant. You see, Dave has never taken an actual vacation. Yes, really. A round of applause for his commendable restraint, please. 🙄
Dave has diligently dug his financial roots and grown himself a decent nest egg. With 40 tapping on the door, he figures it’s time for an international escapade. Enter stage left, Jen, saddled with $20k in credit card debt courtesy of unfortunate unemployment in the past. Oh, life, you little minx, you.
Jen’s Dilemma: The Cost-Conscious Companion
When Dave excitedly shares his dream of globetrotting, Jen understandably gets stars in her eyes. But when reality hits, she realizes those stars might as well be dollar signs. She suggests Vegas, but Dave has his heart set on a passport-required destination. Dave generously offers to cover lodging and probably help with airfare, making us all think, “Wow, a knight in shining…fiscal responsibility!” But Jen’s budget is still tight.
With matters of the wallet straining their newfound love, Dave decides he’ll go solo if need be. Cue the dramatic music, folks. 💔
The Showdown: Clash of Wallet and Will
Jen, understandably miffed, bemoans being left out of this milestone moment. A bit of a dust-up ensues, and Dave’s support system is split tighter than skinny jeans on Thanksgiving. One faction cheers him on, reminiscing about things he sacrificed for an allegedly overbearing ex. The other faction furrows their brows, their moral compasses twitching at the thought of him sipping piña coladas solo while Jen is knee-deep in debt repayments.
The Peanut Gallery’s Verdict: A Roller Coaster of Reactions
It’s clear that this situation is probably more nuanced than that time someone forgot pineapple is also a fruit. But let’s break it down. With his friends and family divided, Dave’s getting mixed signals like a radio stuck between stations. Is he the hero, standing up for his dream, or the heartless twerp who’s leaving Jen in the dust?
Roger’s Take: The Unfiltered Opinion
Now for the moment you’ve been waiting for – Roger’s sassy take on this conundrum. Listen, Dave, I get it. You’ve been a responsible adult, diligently saving up for this dream trip. You deserve it! But here’s where the plot thickens like grandma’s gravy.
Going on this trip clearly means a lot to you and marking your 40th milestone just once is tremendously significant. And let’s be real – covering someone’s entire cost after three short months is a bit… much.
However, relationships are about growing together and tackling obstacles as a team. Maybe the trip could be adjusted, or pushed nearer to a date where your partner can comfortably enjoy the fruits of engagement. Perhaps a compromise can be arranged so both of you feel valued and not just homesick-consoled with Tinder swipes and takeout. 🌎💕
So, am I picking sides? Nah, no fence sitting here! I say: compromise! Dave should still plan his big vacation but with a slight curve. If nothing else, he’ll find out just how much Jen values their long(er)-term coupling too. Cheers to many happy travels – and no guilt souvenirs! 🎉
Intrigued by the drama or need advice for your own tangled web of vacation escapades? Hit me up! Roger’s always got the sass, the wit, and occasionally, a decent piece of advice 😉.
Original story
Hi all, I (39M) am dating someone (33F) and have been for the last 3 months. Things are going well until the topic of my 40th birthday came up.
Next year I turn 40. And I’ve never taken an actual vacation.
I’ve extended work trips to do something fun where I am. I’ve traveled to visit friends or family.
Always just for a long weekend (never more than 3 days total). I want to take a week and travel purely for recreational purposes.
My criteria is that the trip needs to be at least a week and be international.
I’ve also worked hard to get my finances in shape since my 20s. And now I have a decent business and some money set aside and I feel like I’m ready for a trip and next year woukd be a great opportunity as it is a milestone birthday.
My girlfriend is great. She works hard and supports herself.
But she doesn’t make as much money and, most importantly, is currently saddled with around $20k in credit card debt arising from a period of unexpected unemployment she had in the past that forced her to burn through savings and live on credit cards.
When the topic of this trio came up she first asked if she could go. I said sure.
She then asked if we could go to Vegas. I told her about my desire for this to be an international trip.
Then she expressed concern over if she could afford it while it debt. I told her I’d be willing to cover our lodging and, depending on where we go, help her pay for airfare.
Because we haven’t been dating long I don’t feel comfortable paying her whole way and feel she should contribute financially to come along.
She then told me she didn’t feel she could afford to cover meals + half airfare even if I went somewhere relatively cheap (I was thinking possibly carribean where trip flights are running typically under $500). So I said that I understood but I also have been wanting to do this milestone birthday thing for a while now and I still intend to go even if just by myself and would only be gone a week.
She became upset that I would travel without her and it caused a bit of a fight. My friends and family are split.
On the one hand some point out how many things I wanted to do but didn’t get to do because my ex refused to “let” me and so I should go forth with or without her. On the other, some are saying it is cruel of me to be planning a vacation in front of a person who is trying to pay off large amounts of debt anyway.
I can see both sides and just want to know, AITA?