Game Over: The Virtual Infidelity and Why Some Games Can’t Be Replayed
Ah, infidelity in the digital age—where “til death do us part” meets Wi-Fi signals and latency issues. Imagine believing your relationship is sailing smoothly until you discover your spouse has been docking at another port via a virtual world. A Redditor recently shared her harrowing experience, and folks, pour yourself a drink because this story is a cocktail of emotional landmines.
The Digital Dungeon
Meet our protagonist, a 28-year-old woman who we’ll call Ella. Ella finds out that her husband of several years, who we’ll refer to as Bob, has been emotionally unfaithful. And no, it’s not with the office assistant or a neighbor—it’s with a gamer girl from the other side of the country. That’s right, Bob decided to take a detour from his vows via the pixelated roads of an online game.
So, Bob’s playtime buddy isn’t just about sharing cheat codes; they text, call, flirt, and talk about Bob and Ella’s daughter. They even indulge in verbal sparring… of the steamy variety. Now, while Bob claimed depression and asked for space, Ella, being the empathetic soul she is, obliged. What she didn’t sign up for was giving Bob a backstage pass to a virtual affair.
The Heart of the Matter
Here’s where it gets Shakespearean—Bob isn’t just playing around; he disrespects Ella to his online damsel. Yes, he badmouths Ella, pours out his heart, and even fantasizes about a future with his virtual vixen. All this while Ella tries to be the understanding partner, giving Bob the space he claims to need. It’s like giving your dog space and finding out he’s run off with your neighbor’s Shih Tzu.
Months pass, and Ella tries to find the strength to continue. But through her own journey, it’s clear that this relationship is like a broken vase; you can glue it back together, but the cracks are always visible. Their once intimate moments now leave Ella feeling emptier than an uninstalled game on Steam.
The Great Confrontation
So how does Ella discover all this mess? Through the digital trails left behind on Bob’s phone. One gut feeling and a browse through his device later, and the castle of lies comes crashing down. When confronted, Bob does what any guilty husband in a soap opera would do—he pretends he doesn’t know what Ella’s talking about. When that doesn’t fly, he merely shrugs it off, saying he had “moved on” from it. Classic!
Now, Bob expects Ella to share what she needs to make up for his transgressions as though a bouquet of roses and some sweet nothings could erase the emotional betrayal. It’s like he’s handed her a controller with dead batteries and expects her to win the game.
Breaking the News
Ella’s now caught in the confounding limbo of deciding how to break the news to Bob that she can’t, in fact, “get over it.” And can we blame her? Would you willingly board a sinking ship just because it waved a white flag? Staying in such a marriage for the sake of her daughter might sound noble, but Ella clearly realizes that a life of facade isn’t healthy for anyone involved, least of all her child.
Roger’s Take
Look, I get it. People make mistakes. Some mistakes you can move on from, like a bad hair dye or buying stocks in Blockbuster. But emotional infidelity is a whole different ballgame. Bob fumbled hard, and expecting Ella to merely “say what you need to make it up” is like asking someone who’s just been hit by a truck if a Band-Aid will do.
If you ask me, Roger, the Voice of Reason, Ella deserves better, and so does her daughter. Staying in a relationship where trust has been scorched to ashes is like trying to make s’mores without marshmallows—utterly pointless and definitely not sweet. So Ella, here’s my sassy piece of wisdom: Sometimes, the best way to win the game is to know when to hit quit and start anew. You deserve a co-op partner who knows the value of teamwork, both online and offline.
In summary, some games aren’t just meant to be paused and resumed—they need to be uninstalled. Ella, it’s time to load a new save file and find a player worthy of sharing your screen.
Original story
I found out in January that my husband had an emotional affair in January of 2023. He met this person through playing video games.
She lives in another state on the other side of the country, so it wasn’t a physical affair. They not only texted, but also talked on the phone.
They flirted, sexted, talked about our daughter (4f), and talked badly about me. He was going through some depression at that time and had asked me to give him some space, which I did while still letting him know I was here for him.
I have depression as well and know what it’s like to need space, so I respected that. It’s been 5 months since I found out and I thought that I could give him a second chance.
However, I can barely bring myself to look him in the eye. When we have sex, I feel empty afterwards.
I don’t think I can do this anymore. I wanted to have a different life for my kid than I did and here I am stuck in the same position as my mom.
Edit: to clarify things. I have had depression since I was a kid, rough home life, but now that I am out of that environment it does not affect my mood or ability to be a functioning member of society.
My husband only had experienced that bout for about 2 months, so while it was not clinical, it was more episodic. During this time, I tried to get him to talk about his feelings, but you can’t force someone to do so.
I would sit with him and try to get him to open up, but he wouldn’t. I did so with both empathy and with anger.
When neither worked, I gave space by being in our room while he was in the living room. I also left him notes saying how much I love him and how much I appreciate what he does for myself and our family.
We are all human and I have many flaws myself, which I have been working on. However, during this time, he took it upon himself to not just “vent” to a friend, but to actively seek out a person to have phone sex with and plan a future to where our daughter “will love her” and that my in laws will “just have to get over it” when they find out why our marriage ended.
I did go through his phone to find these texts. I had a gut feeling something else was up other than just “needing space”.
We have had an open phone policy since the beginning and that was the one and only time I have gone through it. So think of that as you want.
When I confronted him, he first pretended that he didn’t know what I was talking about. Then said “I honestly moved on from it” and he wasn’t going to ever tell me about it.
I am not sure how to go about bringing up that I no longer wish to stay in this marriage. He has been going on like it’s the same as before and expects me to tell him what I need to make up for it.
But honestly, I don’t know what to tell him at this point.