The Cheater’s Conundrum: Should I Tell My Ex’s New Girlfriend the Truth?
Ah, love in the age of social media, where anniversaries are as casually flaunted as last night’s dinner. So, imagine the surprise of one fine woman who discovers that her ex-boyfriend (let’s call him Captain Ghost) had not only moved on but had apparently begun a new romantic escapade while they were technically still together.
This story is based on a real Reddit post, and let me tell you, it’s a rollercoaster you’ll want to ride till the very end. Our protagonist, let’s call her Jenny for anonymity’s sake, recently found herself in quite the dilemma. Jenny broke up with her boyfriend on the 4th of July, freeing herself from the shackles of what she once believed was a relationship based on trust and communication.
The Set-Up: Love, Long Distance, and Lack of Effort
Now, Jenny is no stranger to the relationship rodeo. She and Captain Ghost spent six whole months in a long-distance relationship, making it work across half the country. Her job was remote, so she often found herself hopping on a plane to visit him. Things were magical (or so she thought). Even when she took a trip out of the country and did the whole different time zone thing, she made every effort to keep in touch. What did Captain Ghost do? He ghosted her. Classic, right?
But fear not, dear reader, Jenny bounced back and found love again within nine months. She kept her social feeds updated – pictures of brunches, boomerangs of clinking glasses, the works. You know, how the rest of us mere mortals live. Meanwhile, Captain Ghost also moved on, and thanks to a whisper from a mutual friend and the ever-faithful Facebook, Jenny discovered that Captain Ghost’s new romance had an anniversary date of June 20th, 2023. Wait, that’s three days after Jenny last visited him and still over two weeks before she officially set him free.
The Quandary: Girl Code vs. Peaceful Ignorance
Jenny’s now faced with the ultimate dilemma: Should she abide by Girl Code and let the new girlfriend know that her beloved started their relationship while he was still, technically, in one with Jenny? Or should she let the sleeping dogs lie and focus on her own happiness?
Trust me, Jenny’s not some meddling ex looking to stir the pot. Her intentions are as pure as the driven snow – or you know, as pure as any intentions can be on the messy battlefield of love. She’d personally want to know such a betrayal, but is it her place to shatter someone else’s blissful ignorance, especially now that she’s happily coupled up?
The Peanut Gallery: Reddit to the Rescue
But where does a modern-day heroine go for advice? Ah yes, the great oracle of our time: Reddit. She posted her story, and as expected, the comments poured in faster than wine at a wedding.
Some Redditors stood firmly in Team Tell Her, rallying cries of “girl code!” echoing in digital solidarity. Others took a more philosophical approach, suggesting that maybe Captain Ghost had seen the error of his ways and turned over a new leaf (yeah, because that always happens).
Jenny’s post even saw some armchair psychologists diagnosing Captain Ghost with commitment issues so severe he should come with a warning label. But, let’s be honest, the man ghosted her. If there’s a quicker way to scream “I have issues,” I don’t know it.
Roger’s Sassy Take: To Tell or Not to Tell?
Now, it wouldn’t be fair of me, Roger, your sassy love guru, to leave you hanging without my two cents. Do I think Jenny should spill the beans? Absolutely, but with a sprinkle of finesse.
See, honesty is the best policy, but timing and delivery are everything. Maybe a subtle, anonymous note would suffice, or better yet, a carefully crafted message devoid of bitterness. After all, it’s not about rekindling old flames but about ensuring the new girl isn’t building her castle on a foundation of lies.
But remember, darling, at the end of the day, Jenny owes nothing to Captain Ghost or his new partner, except maybe a courtesy note warning them of the shadows lurking in Ghost Town (pun completely intended).
So, dear readers, what would you do? Would you tell her, or would you let it slide and live your best life? One thing’s for sure – in the age of digital love, whispers of the past seem to travel at the speed of light.
Original story
I (28F) broke up with my now ex-boyfriend (36M) on July 4, 2023. For some background, he and I did long distance half way across the country for 6 months, with me visiting him since my job is remote.
We had what I thought was a beautiful relationship based on trust and communication. Towards the end, I went on a trip out of the country for a bit and I made every effort from the different time zones to keep him in the loop and share my experiences.
He ghosted me for a few days and that was the clarity I needed to end things. He essentially just stopped putting in the effort.
Since then, I ended up finding someone and have been dating them for about 9 months now. I’ve also seen on social media that my now ex has been dating someone else, as well.
To be clear, I am happy he’s found someone else and we’ve both moved on. However, my friend told me they made it “facebook official” recently and their anniversary date is June 20, 2023.
This was 3 days after my last visit to him AND a little over 2 weeks before I broke up with him.
Is it worth reaching out to the girl to let her know? I’m conflicted between girl code and meddling where I shouldn’t since we’re both happy in new relationships.
Any advice is appreciated!
Edit: This is my first post on Reddit. It’s hard to keep it concise and figure out what to share that makes the most sense for the core the ask which is ultimately “should she know.
” Please know my intentions are genuine – as I’d personally want to know but I also am conflicted since it’s been so long since we found our respective new partners – and I am only seeking advice. Thank you for all the comments so far, they truly are appreciated!
Edit 2: Just wanted to clarify a few points as I understand how this post can be confusing. After I originally saw his social posts with his new partner, I “muted” him on everything so it wouldn’t show in my feed.
Secondly, they only made it “FB official” a few days ago hence why my friend didn’t tell me until I posted this. Hope this helps, all advice still appreciated!