When Love Handles Become Liability: Navigating Relationship Weight Woes
Alright, friends, let’s dive into the real, raw, and often sticky side of relationships, shall we? This tale is plucked straight from the chaotic realms of Reddit’s Am I the A**hole (AITA) subreddit, where a brave soul laid bare her not-so-svelte dilemma. Buckle up, buttercups, because what you’re about to read is bound to make you laugh, cringe, and maybe even reflect on your own intimate affairs.
The Backstory
Our heroine, let’s call her Jane (22F), has a boyfriend, we’ll name him John (25M). Jane and John have been dating for a little over a year. When they first got together, John was a beefy hunk, teetering around the 190-200 pounds mark at a respectable 6 feet in height. Meanwhile, Jane was holding her own at 140 pounds and a sweet 5’5″.
As in many fairy tales gone awry, happy relationship weight gain creeped in. Jane packed on 20 pounds, which is no biggie, but poor John took the gain-by-your-love handles to a whole new level, ballooning up 50-75 pounds. Yikes.
Jane’s Health Kick
Realizing that the forks and spoons weren’t going to put themselves down, Jane decided to reassess her diet. Out went the mountain of sweets, the ocean of soda, and in came the conscious portions and life-giving water. She shed an impressive 30 pounds.
John, however, took a detour to Cakeville, frequently treating himself to desserts and ignoring Jane’s Canadian-conservatively-nagging (read: gentle) reminders about health. Result? Let’s just say a cake a day keeps intimacy at bay.
Sweat and Intimacy
This newfound fitness fanaticism wasn’t just body-altering for Jane but relationship-altering too. Enter the bedroom scenario where John, in his 275-280 pound glory, was no longer the love machine he once was. Sweating buckets, taking breaks to catch the breath he ironically could no longer catch, John’s new form became more of a wet blanket than a hot body.
The crucial sweat-in-mouth incident was the breaking point for Jane who, in turn, feels herself mentally pulling further away from their once-steamy connection. Now, while she still adores John’s personality, his snazzy outdoorsy charm, and their shared laughs, her brain has hit that mental block frequently fielded by sweat—and not the good kind.
The AITA Question
Jane, wrestling with guilt, looked to Reddit for answers. Our gal feared the masses would label her a superficial witch if the genders were flipped. But guess what? The web sleeves had more empathy up their veins than she imagined.
Words of Reddit Wisdom
Suggestions flew fast and thick:
Jane resolved to have ‘the talk’ (cue dramatic music). Armed with compassion, ready to lay down their shared future like a wellness roadmap, she planned to canvas his well-being, propose actionable changes, and stress her unwavering support.
Roger’s Sassy Bottom Line
Alright, settle down, folks, it’s time for the nugget of wisdom from yours truly.
Was Jane the “A”? Absolutely not! Relationships aren’t just about turning eye-candies into eye-sores or vice versa. They’re about growth—sometimes, literally. John’s weight isn’t just sweat and extra pounds, it’s a weighted lens into deeper issues.
Here’s the tea: addressing weight without considering mental health is like bringing a knife to a water gun fight. Useless, and everyone ends up wet. Dig deeper. If you love the guy, wanting him to be fit isn’t shallow; it shows you see a future with him. But sis, if his refusal becomes a chronic cakewalk, it’s time to reconsider whether this love affair holds enough health to last a lifetime.
Till next time, stay sassy, stay witty, and whatever you do, keep the sweat out of your mouth. 💦
Original story
I (22F) have a boyfriend (25M) that I have been with for a little over a year. My bf has always been a beefy man.
When we got together he was right around 190-200 pounds (6;0). I was around 140 pounds (5;5)
While we’ve been in our relationship I had gained about 20 pounds or so. My boyfriend has gained about 50-75 pounds.
I recently started worrying about my health and noticing i was consuming way too much food and not enough food that was good for me. Drinking basically only soda, and eating lots of sweets.
So i decided to pay more attention to what i eat and eat smaller portions.
My boyfriend is constantly complaining about his weight. But refuses to do anything about it.
If i cook food that is good for us, he will literally make a cake after and eat half of the cake himself. If i tell him i don’t want anything sweet or more food he will shove it in front of me and say “one thing isn’t going to kill you”, but it’s an almost everyday thing.
I have now lost a little over 30 pounds. I only drink water unless we go out to eat somewhere fancy.
I consume way better foods for my body… etc.
Lately this has put a strain on our intimacy time. I am by no means a pillow princess, but when he is on top, he is literally sweating all over me.
It drips all over me. A few nights ago we were being intimate, i was on the bottom, my eyes were closed and my mouth was open… sweat from his face fell into my mouth.
It completely killed the mood for me…. He also has to take breaks to catch his breath if he is putting the work in.
Which is obviously a mood killer.
I love this man. I love everything about him.
But because of this, it is making me less and less attracted to him physically. I still think he is a very handsome man.
I just want him to be healthy and confident in himself, and for me to not feel like i am pressuring him into being healthy against his will.
I do understand that if a man was saying this about his girlfriend, everyone would be very angry with him. But i REALLY need to know if this is normal, what i can do about this, or if i just need to get over myself!
Edit to add: when my boyfriend was younger he was a pretty skinny guy in his really ealry 20s. He was also previously married.
Towards the end of his married he had reached around 300 pounds. After they divorced he had lost all of that weight and was down to what he was when i met him.
Idk if they helps with anyones opinions or advice!
Edit 2: Boyfriend is also a somewhat decently active guy. He is a blue collar worker in the deep south.
& also enjoys lots of outdoor activities fishing, hunting, houndsman work, etc..
Update 1: You all have encouraged me to sit down and have a good heart to heart conversation with him. I am going to try to do that tonight unless something comes up.
I am going to be kind, but to the point. I am going to explain that I still think he is attractive but am worried about his health and also want him to put effort into himself.
I am going to emphasize how his weight gain has effected is abilities in the bedroom. Then i’m going to propose a plan to start in a better direction, such as drinking more water or only water, cutting down on sweet treats to start off, and propose he go on a few walks with me every week.
I am going to be compassionate but somewhat firm/to the point because I don’t want to worry about his health and/or lose intimacy in the relationship. I will also have a conversation about mental health.
How he is feeling and if there is anything going on within that he would like to talk about or address with me/or to a therapist.
I will try to update again when we have this conversation and let you all know how it goes!