Oh, darlings, do I have a tale of woe and bewilderment for you today straight from the digital water cooler that is Reddit. Buckle up; it’s going to be a sassy ride.
We have a protagonist – let’s name her ‘Hero Mom’ – a goddess in her own right dealing with a three and two-year-old. Enter her friend, affectionately called ‘J,’ with a plot twist that’s sure to raise anyone’s perfectly manicured eyebrows. J has an 8-month-old baby girl and recently found herself needing a babysitter. Oh, how the plot thickens!
A Disaster in Babysitting
Hero Mom, being the saint she is, agrees to watch J’s adorable little bundle of joy for what was supposed to be a quick 30-minute errand. She’s thinking, ‘What can go wrong in half an hour?’ Famous last words, my dear. J drops the baby off at 8:30 AM, claiming she’ll be back in a jiffy.
But, surprise, surprise — J doesn’t waltz back in until FIVE hours later. Yes, you read that right. Our patient Hero Mom waits and waits and waits some more. By now, the baby’s probably learned to crawl, say ‘mama,’ and develop a keen interest in existential philosophy. The clock strikes 1:30 PM, and J waltzes back with all the nonchalance of someone who’s been to a yoga retreat, not a sprint to the grocery store.
Bottle-less and Drama-filled
Here’s the kicker: J didn’t leave a bottle. That’s correct — no milk, no formula, nada. Oh, and did we mention the baby hadn’t been fed since 6 AM and was left with one solitary diaper? Our gallant Hero Mom had to play baby MacGyver, trying to sustain this hungry little pumpkin with whatever she could find at home.
Clearly, J must be steeped in regret, groveling for forgiveness, right? Not quite. She chuckles. Laughs it off as if this was some charming sitcom moment. At this point, I’m already halfway through a mental draft of the strongly-worded message I’d send her.
Where Art Thou, Gratitude?
Time heals all wounds, they say, but it also apparently makes some people bolder in their audacity. Fast forward, and J just got a new job. The queen of assumption, she decides Hero Mom would obviously be the daycare provider. No discussion, no request — just an assumption wrapped in entitlement.
Now, Hero Mom is a woman of opportunity and she has a golden one coming her way. Her sister-in-law, let’s call her ‘SIL,’ is available to babysit her kiddos, allowing her to go part-time this summer. Just imagine it: fewer hours, more sanity, maybe even the luxury of a mid-afternoon nap. However, Hero Mom feels a pang of guilt at the thought of turning J down. Darling, hold on to your guilt for something worthy — like eating the last slice of cake, not for turning down a babysitting gig under these circumstances.
To Babysit or Not to Babysit?
So here is the million-dollar question: Would Hero Mom be the jerk here for saying no to J’s babysitting presumptions and instead, enjoying her hard-earned part-time peace? Let me put it as plainly as possible: NO, HONEY, YOU WOULD NOT BE THE AH.
Listen, I get it. Saying no, especially to a friend, can feel like you’re being cast as the villain in their melodrama. But for heaven’s sake, Hero Mom is not running a charity where one drop-off becomes an unauthorized five-hour adventure. Friends don’t let friends lose their minds.
Hero Mom, embrace your inner diva and claim that part-time schedule with both hands. Inform J, preferably with some backbone, that you’re not available for daycare duty this summer. You can even throw in some sassy undertones if that feels empowering. And as for J, she needs a good dose of reality — child care is a profession, not a favor to be scooped up without manners.
Let’s be real here. J’s disrespectful and oblivious behavior isn’t something you should shrug off. She should be planning baby maintenance logistics, not tossing her responsibilities onto others with the grace of a freight train. It’s time J learns that friends are here to support, not to sabotage one’s sanity.
Roger’s Final Word
In closing, my dear readers, Hero Mom would absolutely not be the asshole for laying down the law here. Simple boundaries do not make one a villain. They make one sane. Those who laugh in the face of such respect deserve a contested custody hearing with reality.
Cheerio, darlings! And remember, never let whimsical irresponsibility from others keep you from enjoying your well-deserved peace and leisure. You are the hero of your own story, after all.
Original story
EDIT TO ADD: Thank you for all of the responses! I let her know I was unable to watch the baby, and then accepted the job 🙂 I’m not a confrontational person and have trouble putting my foot down, if you couldn’t already tell.
lol.
My friend , let’s call her J, has an 8 month old baby girl. I have a 3 and 2 year old.
Recently, J left her baby at my house for what was supposed to be a 30 minute down the road from my home after being fired from her previous job. She was gone for FIVE hours.
She didn’t leave a bottle, hadn’t fed her since 6am (dropped her off at 8:30) and only left one diaper. I called her multiple times and she didn’t respond.
When she got back, she didn’t say sorry or anything. She laughed about it.
Fast forward to now, she’s taken another job and is asking me (more like assuming I will) provide daycare for this baby. I wouldn’t mind, however this whole interaction made me very VERY uncomfortable.
I’ve also been given the opportunity to go to part time this summer, as my sister in law could babysit. I’m wanting to take that opportunity but I feel like an AH?
Basically WIBTAH if I took the hours and told her I’m unable to watch her baby? ALSO- she took the job before asking me about my availability.