AITA for Not Inviting My Mom to My Wedding: When Family Drama Becomes the Uninvited Guest
Oh, dear readers, gather around and let Roger tell you a tale—a juicy, shrimp-on-the-barbie of a tale based on one of those heart-wrenching, laugh-out-loud Reddit posts. Our protagonist, a plucky young lady, asks the ever-provocative question: Am I the Asshole (AITA) for not inviting my mom to my wedding? Buckle up, buttercups, because we’ve got drama hotter than a jalapeño in July!
The Backstory: From Addiction to Redemption
Once upon a time, our heroine fell into the dark abyss known as addiction. But unlike the cliché goblin lurking under your bed, she never stole from her family or did anything despicable. Oh no, the scandals of her addiction come with arguments—mostly with Mom. Mom, by the way, is characterized here as a “degrader and berater,” more ready to throw shade than an overgrown oak tree.
But there’s a shining knight in this suburban tale: Dad, who showed empathy and helped her through the darkest tunnel with the light of his understanding. Mom, on the other hand, was about as supportive as a chocolate teapot.
The Epic Argument
During one particularly spicy episode, Mom’s beef with our heroine blew up, leading to a no-holds-barred argument where she demanded that our protagonist go live with Dad if he was that great. Oh, the drama! Not exactly “Gone With the Wind” material, but it comes pretty close. The climax? Our protagonist blurts, “How am I going to have you both at my wedding if you hate him so much?”
And what did Mom, the queen of saltiness, say in response? “I’m not coming if he’s there.” Boom! Mic drop, end of scene, curtains close, the fat lady sings.
Fast Forward: The Wedding Bell Blues
Three years of heroic sobriety later, our leading lady is planning her nuptials. She’s engaged to a delightful human who proposed six months ago. Yes, ladies and gents, love is in the air! But what’s not in the air? The invite list of doom.
Remembering Mom’s ultimatum from the past, our bride-to-be decides to leave Mom off the guest list. Why? Well, Mom has a penchant for being as snotty as a kleenex in flu season, making petty comments, and causing every brand of drama you can imagine. Who wants a Real Housewives showdown at their wedding? Not our sensible heroine, that’s who.
Mom’s Revelation and The Great Confrontation
With the invites out, the drama was only postponed, not canceled. Mom eventually gets wind of it—seeing her brother’s invite—and immediately smells a rat. Cue the phone calls and messages!
When Mom finally reaches our bride, she’s like, “Where’s my invite?” And our heroine? She’s as direct as Google Maps. She tells Mom she remembers the previous threat and doesn’t want the wedding to transform into a WWF smackdown.
Mom’s response? “Don’t be ungrateful; I raised you, I deserve to come anyway.” But our protagonist, standing taller than a freshly done bouffant, basically tells Mom she isn’t up for being anyone’s circus master at her own wedding. Translation: No drama llamas allowed. Exit stage left, conversation ends, phones are hung up with a finality that echoes through the ages.
Feeling a twinge of guilt colder than a popsicle in December, our bride looks for validation. Dad, ever the supportive sea otter, is on her side. But Mom’s sister and brother? They’re waving the ungrateful banner high and mighty.
Roger’s Verdict: The Sass and Reason
Alright, let’s dish this out the Roger way. Family dynamics can be more twisted than a dollar-store garden hose, and wedding plans—let alone relationships—are no trivial pursuit. What’s a wedding if it’s going to turn into a battleground where old arguments are replayed in Dolby Surround Sound?
Choosing peace, love, and dry eyes over drama and ruined mascara is not being ungrateful. It’s being smart. You fought a good fight against addiction—championed by Dad—and now you don’t want your Big Day marred by old and new battles. Who can fault you for that? Nobody, that’s who.
Here’s the kicker: while recognizing and feeling gratitude towards Mom for her role in your upbringing is important, it doesn’t necessitate inviting a storm to a celebration. Boundaries, dear readers, exist for a reason, and this heroine is drawing hers in waterproof eyeliner.
So, my darling, get that fabulous dress on, walk down that aisle, and marry your love without the looming cloud of mom-mageddon hanging over you. You’re NTA in Roger’s book.
Original story
so, a few years ago i was an addict. ive never stolen from my family or anything like that, but it caused many arguments with my mom who was harsh on me and just used it to degrade or berate me.
my dad, however, was supportive and helped me with empathy.
during one of these arguments with my mom, she kicked me out and told me to go live with my dad, since he’s so amazing, and it escalated and i ended up getting upset and saying ‘i cant pick a favourite parent, how am i going to have you both at my wedding if you hate him so much?’
and she replied ‘im not coming if he’s there’
fast forward to today, im three years sober. lived with my dad ever since the argument, and me and my mom still have an on and off rocky relationship.
my current bf of four years proposed about 6 months ago, and we’ve been trying to get things planned for next summer. we want to make sure we’re prepared, which includes our save the dates, best thing is to be early right?
what my mom said has always stuck with me, so i decided to not send her an invite, she has a tendency to be snotty, make petty comments and cause drama, especially with my dad, and i didnt want a big blow up at my wedding.
she saw my brothers invite and messaged me asking where hers was. i ignored her, and she rang me.
i told her i remembered what she said, and she cant come because my dad is coming. she told me not to be ungrateful and that she raised me and she should be invited anyway.
i told her im not having her ruin the wedding, and hung up. i feel kind of guilty because she has done a lot for me, but i feel like its a situation where she loves me because im her daughter, but doesnt like me as my own person
my dad is on my side as they dont get on anyway, but my brother and my moms sister think i am being too harsh and ungrateful. aita?