Hundreds of Miles and One Very Desperate Move—Is My Friend the Real Life ’90 Day Fiancé’?
Gather ’round, my darling readers, because today we’re diving into a real-life soap opera straight out of a Reddit post. Buckle up, buttercups, because this tale involves questionable online romance, misplaced loyalties, and a whole lot of “What the heck were you thinking?”.
First, some backstory: Our protagonist, a lovely but evidently exhausted 28-year-old woman (let’s call her Jane), has been running on fumes, playing emotional janitor to her best friend, Claire (27F). Claire has had a torrid couple of months—end of a long-term relationship and, heartbreakingly, her childhood cat taking a one-way trip to kitty heaven. Jane, bless her nurturing soul, has been holding Claire together with emotional duct tape and sheer will. But even saints have their limits.
Enter Plot Twist #1: Claire decided to spice up her tumultuous life by getting romantically involved with Mike (20M), an exotic specimen she extracted from the depths of PlayStation chat, where all great love stories begin, right? Wrong. The guy lives 8 hours away, has no job, and essentially lives on PlayStation. If that’s not a red flag parade, I don’t know what is. But, darling Claire is seeing fireworks—not warning flares.
Three weeks ago, Claire invited Mike over for a weekend rendezvous. A sane person would probably meet halfway, particularly when the person in question is an unemployed gamer and you’ve never met in real life. But no, Claire wanted the full experience, like an Airbnb disaster waiting to debut on reality TV. Plot Twist #2? The weekend has now stretched into an indefinite sleepover. You read that right.
Jane, armed with common sense and concern, warned Claire about this impromptu ‘forever sleepover.’ Claire brushed it off as romantic kismet, spun a web of lies about Mike’s prolonged stay involving missed buses—a weak excuse even by sitcom standards. Jane finally met this ‘Prince Charming’ last night, and boy, did it go terribly.
Not only does Mike not speak English well (no, it’s not racism, it’s context), but he also displayed the social grace of a wet blanket. He sat there watching TikTok while Jane and Claire caught up. Then, Mike had the audacity to laugh about how he used to ghost Claire to keep her “desperate.” Charming, eh? Jane walked out, unable to channel her inner saint anymore.
The crescendo hit when Jane, exasperated by her friend’s poor life decisions, called Claire’s mom—a woman who typically moonlights as Claire’s voice of reason. Big mistake. Huge. Claire erupted like a dormant volcano, screeching betrayal. She left Jane with a deluge of angry messages and voicemails, full of curses. Because nothing says “I value our friendship” like screaming obscenities into the void of voicemail.
Now, Jane turns to Reddit to ask if she was the a**hole for stepping into Claire’s growing dumpster fire of a romantic entanglement. Let’s fan the flames, shall we?
Here is where Roger steps in with his sassy, unfiltered opinion.
Oh, honey, sit down, because Roger is about to educate you on friendship interventions 101. Yes, Claire, your bestie Jane might’ve gone one step too far on the meddling spectrum. Calling someone’s mom is a move straight out of ‘Parent Trap,’ but desperate times call for desperate measures.
First off, Claire, you need a wake-up slap, and not the good kind either. Ladies—and let this be a lesson to everyone out there— if your entire love story involves heavy translations and he’s mainly known for ghosting you into submission, run. Just RUN.
This ‘treat ’em mean, keep ’em keen’ philosophy might work for a high school bad boy, but Mike isn’t even trying for varsity jerk; he’s in a league of his own. And you, Claire darling, are about to make him captain of the team by marrying him to keep him in the country. Oh, the tragedy!
Jane might’ve overstepped, but let’s not roast her too hard; the girl tried. Trust her instincts, because they scream, ‘Claire’s about to make the Mother of All Mistakes.
Roger’s golden advice? Step back and let Claire pilot this disaster flight herself. Sometimes people need to crash-land before they learn how to fly. As your loyal boarding attendant, here’s a glass of metaphorical champagne. Sip, watch, and remain fabulous.
Final Thoughts
In a world full of Claire’s and Mike’s, be a Jane. Care enough to intervene but smart enough to eventually move out of the blast radius. And always remember, my lovelies, sometimes the best way to help a friend is to let them learn the hard way. Chin up, Jane; at least you tried.
Original story
So in the last few months my (28F) friend (27F) has gone through a lot of change.
She broke up with her long time boyfriend and her childhood cat had to be put down after a traumatic case of paralysis. I was there to help her through it and as mean as this sounds, I was looking getting very emotionally drained from constantly supporting her, I love her but it was very mentally taxing.
Three weeks ago she told she was wanting to meet up with a guy. The guy in question was a (20M) who lived 8 hours away, she met him through PlayStation chat.
They have been talking for at least 6 months, when they first started talking they both still in relationships. She assured me they were “just friends” and only started talking romantically after they had both broken up.
I never liked him, she said that he would prioritise talking to her over his then girlfriend, didn’t have a job and just stayed home all day playing PlayStation.
I told her I thought it was a terrible idea as she said she planned for him to come to her house and stay for the weekend, I suggested they meet half way as he lives 8 hours away and she said no
This was 3 weeks ago, he never left.
She made up stories about him missing the bus and he was going to leave the next day. She got upset and admitted she had been hiding things from me because she knew I wouldnt approve and it was all too quick
I met him last night and it went as terribly as I expected (yes I only met him last night as I didn’t even want to meet him at all).
He is Indian and doesn’t speak English very well, he didn’t engage with me at all and just sat on his phone watching tiktok.
Her and I were catching up and I mentioned a recent dating fail and how I was ghosted. He perked up and laughed, he said that he would do that to my friend when they started talking, “treat em mean, keep em keen”.
He said it was fun to manipulate her because he knew she would be “desperate enough” to come back to him. I got up and left as I wouldn’t have been able to hold back
She confronted me today and we had a huge fight
I told her my concerns, that it’s a dangerous situation she has gotten herself into. She laughed and said that I’m over reacting, that “it sounds bad when he says things like that but it’s just a joke!
“
She told me that she’s enjoying it while it lasts because he will probably be deported soon as his visa is about to expire. She said that they were thinking of getting married so he could stay in the country.
After that I called her mum, who knew nothing about this. My friend usually talks to her mum every day and always speaks highly of the advice she gives her.
So I called her as I was concerned because I assumed she knew about this but she didn’t and it didn’t end well
My friend has now left me dozens of messages and phone calls cursing me out
AITA For Calling her mum because she plans to marry a man who is just using and manipulating her ?
Edit: someone called me racist for saying he doesn’t speak English well.
The context is he is not from this country, he is here on a visa, she is taking pity on him and invited him to stay with her. Their communication is limited as she doesn’t speak his language and his English is limited.
They have translated conversations through google translate
When I pointed out the ghosting she tried to make excuses of “that’s how he talks, you don’t understand the communication barrier” which was just her trying to make excuses for his bad behaviour